


Vice and Virtue

by silverneko9lives0



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Victorian, F/M, Gay Bar, Genderfluid Bilbo, Historical References, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Trans Female Kili
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:21:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 63,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3271538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverneko9lives0/pseuds/silverneko9lives0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ori is the youngest son of a fishing business tycoon and Dwalin works at the docks Ori’s family owns. Both, however, are gay and Ori has long had an eye on Dwalin. Dwalin takes care of his pent up frustration at an underground brothel for gay men run by club owner Thorin Durin and his lover Bilbo, who is a regular cross dresser (he’s not trans). When Ori discovers the club, he accidently runs into Dwalin, beginning a tentative romance between them that they must keep hidden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bag slung over his shoulder, he leaned against the wall and he pulled his hat as far over his face as he dared as his classmates walked by, laughing and joking without a care in the world. It’s so much easier for them to mix. They’ve no reason to want to be invisible. It’s always been easy for him to be invisible if he wanted to.

His orange hair, what could be seen of it, shone like fire in the rare sunny day in late winter and in his hand was a book. He dressed plainly: brown breeches, matching shoes, a moss green waistcoat over a white shirt and a brown jacket. He had forgone the bowtie that came with the waistcoat. He hated them as ties, in general, felt too much like a noose.

A cabby drew up to the curb and the door opened. A man dressed in a light grey pinstripe jacket, white hair covered by a hat of his own, and mustache twitching. “Ori!” he called when the younger of the two. Ori looked up and approached the cabby. He stepped inside and once the door closed, he set his book down and appraised the elder man.

“Bad day, Dori?” he asked. Dori slumped his shoulders and pressed his elbows to his knees, nodding.

“I had to let more people go. I don’t know if I can keep you in college at this rate…”

“Talk to Nori, then.”

“I _would_ if he ever came home at a normal time!” Dori snapped. Ori jumped. Dori sucked in a breath. “Sorry. I just…way it’s going at the pier…”

“I get it. We might have to close. I can see if I can get work somewhere. I’m sure I can pay for the tuition myself. I’m mostly on scholarship anyway.”

Sometimes Dori needed to remember that they weren’t completely in the red. The scholarship Ori got from the bank and the writing contests. He could even put up signs up about being commissioned to draw something for his classmates under commission…

Or not, thinking of the things he’d heard a few to many times in the locker room while trying _not_ to look at anyone there for fear of being discovered.

“Thank you, but don’t worry about it so much,” Dori said. “I’ll handle it.”

“I’m _twenty_ , Dori! I don’t need to be coddled so much.”

“I know, but let me worry about these things. All right?”

“But—”

“Trust me,” Dori said, squeezing Ori’s shoulder. “I’ve got this.”

Ori frowned and Dori looked out the window instead of facing him. Ori slouched against the back of his seat and crossed his arms, appraising his eldest brother. He shouldn’t have to try so hard to keep Ori from worrying. Like it or not, he did worry and he could help if Dori would just _let him_.

It wasn’t all that likely, though.

“Will Nori be home?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Dori said. “Hell, I don’t even know if we can go to Manchester this summer.” Ori winced at that. Skipping Manchester was up there with skipping Christmas and his birthday! (Who said he still couldn’t enjoy celebrating his birthday? He loved presents! He loved giving them and receiving them.) “So! How was your day?” Dori said. Ori shrugged.

“All right,” he said. “Nothing to report.” He tightened his grasp on his bag. Dori spotted the movement and his eyes narrowed.

“Are you sure? You’re not being bullied again, are you?” It was a problem back at Eton, and he hated it, but he lived through it, didn’t he? Ori shook his head.

“I just don’t _do_ much, you know. Better that way.” 

“Oh, Ori, you _should_ join the art club Oxford has. You have such talent! You ought to at least try and figure out where your style fits best.”

“I already know where I fit,” he mumbled, looking out the window.

It wasn’t likely he’d get famous from his art anyway. He doubted he’d join any of the greats. Most of them were on the continent anyway.

He didn’t loosen is fingers around his bag. Inside it was something he _didn’t_ want either of his brothers to see. They’d never let him out of their sight if they knew he was thinking of going to some illusive, unheard of club on the East End. At least there, he has less of a chance of discovery.

He hoped so.

#

Ori laid on his stomach, reaching under his bed for his secret box. That he still needed one bugged him, but if Dori…well, he didn’t want to think about what Dori would do. It was bad enough that the Met always sent word about Nori’s fuck ups. He couldn’t burden Dori with another fuck up brother.

So he kept it secret still and pulled it on his bed. Within was a notebook, which depicted the same man. Ori figured he could call this his obsession, since he’d fancied the same man since he was old enough to know that his admiration for him was more than admiration.

He was strong, broad shouldered and bulging muscles. His bald head was covered in a cap at most times, but beneath it were geometric tattoos. He had a thick, black beard that was cropped, and dark eyes that bore the strength of a man who’d seen some horror and somehow kept some semblance of kindness. He often forewent a jacket, which was sensible given his profession as a fisherman for their family business. Ori studied his older drawings, watching as it became easier to draw the man.

Ori bit his lip, wondering, not for the first time, what it’d be like to kiss that man, almost ashamed at how the thought both felt relieving and shameful at the same time. He pushed the shame down. He hated how it ate away at him. This was why he was planning on going to that club, wasn’t he? To find others like him who couldn’t look at a woman and say they found that pleasing.

 _Sodomites_. It whispered in the back of his head and he groaned, letting the book go and holding his head in his hands and willing himself not to cry.

Can you imagine what it’s like to feel shame for being in love with someone who you are taught to _not_ be attracted to but can’t help but find beautiful anyway? For Ori, it was like…like having a blade inside you and ripping you to shreds.

He didn’t know if going to _Bag End_ would help him or not, but he needed to know that there were others like him. He needed to know if what he felt was really…

To be frank, Ori didn’t know what to expect from this club.

He heard a shout below and his heart jumped in his chest. Ori closed the book, put it in his box, tucked it under the bed, and went to his desk, pretending to do homework he had already finished. Nori was home and already having a fight with Dori.

Once doors were slammed and locked, he peeked outside his room to see Dori leaning against a door and massaging his forehead. His jacket, waistcoat, tie, and hat were gone and his sleeves were rolled up his forearms. Ori closed the door and went back to his desk, reviewing the things before him. Maybe it’d be better to just put things back in his bag and get ready for dinner.

There was a gentle knock at the door. “Yes?”

Dori poked his head in. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”

Ori nodded, noting the defeated tone he’d heard so many times before, and Dori left. Once he was certain he was downstairs again, he approached Nori’s room and knocked. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Nori grunted.

He stepped inside. Nori was splayed on his bed, attire in disarray and a lit cigar between his lips. Ori wrinkled his nose at the smell. “I think you should get help,” he said.

Nori rolled his eyes. “Not one to beat around the bush, are you?”

“Nori, we had to let more people go today.”

“And that’s my fault,” he muttered, narrowing his eyes at Ori. Ori leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“It’s _our_ money that you’re using to help your addiction.”

“ _Addiction_?!”

“At least try to see Dori’s point of view rather than pick fights with him! It’s hard at work and it’s hard here and using the money that is supposed to help us live as well as help Dori’s employees live for gambling just makes it hard on all of us.” Nori’s eyes were hard. Ori sighed. “Fine. Fuck us over,” he muttered, leaving the room.

“Don’t let Dori hear you use such foul terms, little brother,” Nori teased as though they’d had a cheery conversation. “You know he doesn’t like swearing.”

Ori closed the door, wanting desperately to hate Nori, but unable to do so. He couldn’t hate his brother if he tried. Anger and disappointment were easier to feel.

Nori didn’t come to dinner, which was fine by Dori, still frustrated and incensed. Ori just ate, thanked Maribeth, their maid—the nanny that had been with them since they were children—and was about to head back to his room when Dori called him back.

“Anyone special in your life yet?” he asked. Ori bristled and shook his head. Dori wasn’t that old. He could marry if he wanted…

He didn’t at first because of the business. Then Nori started causing trouble…

“No one,” he said, thinking of the fisherman drawn in his notebook. _Nor will there be anyone you could approve of anyway._

Dori hummed and mumbled about having a brandy in the sitting room and Ori excused himself. He took his notebook out and flipped through the pages slowly, biting his lip. This was as close as he could get to his fisherman. It was, he knew, obsessive and the man, if he knew, would probably break him in half for even _looking_ at him in such a way.

“I love you” were forbidden words to whisper and they burned the tip of his tongue, wanting to get out and always needing to be held back.

He went to sleep, and dreamt of a man that he could never hope to have…

#

Saturday nights were free nights. Normally he stayed home then, but tonight, he was going to _Bag End_ while Dori went to the club and Nori went…God knows where. Ori arrived at the steps of a green door and bit his lip, shivering.

The door opened and a woman stepped out. She was tall, fair of face with pretty hazel brown eyes. Her brown hair was pulled out of her face in ringlets and she had a cigar bit between her teeth. She was clearly angry and Ori stepped out of her way. He’d never seen a woman so tall! The man following her was just as tall with platinum blond hair.

“Kili! Come on, sweetheart!” A man shouted, grabbing Kili’s wrist. “I’m sorry, love, don’t be mad.”

“THRANDUIL!!” Another man bellowed. Thranduil let go of Kili and stepped back as another man ran out, holding a cane in his hand and limping. He looked eerily similar to the woman, but clearly was older. Her father? Ori hoped not, this would definitely not be a place he’d want to go to if so…perhaps he should leave.

“I’m going,” Thranduil said, hands up. “I’m going for the night. But,” he looked at Kili again. “Please, love. Forgive me? At least think about my offer.”

Kili’s father growled raising the cane in a means to strike him, but Thranduil was already making his way down the street.

The man lowered the cane and ran his hand through his ebony hair. “You okay?”

“Yes, Uncle,” Kili said. Ori’s eyes rose. That was _not_ a woman’s voice, though it certainly tried to be. “I’ll be in momentarily. Tell Auntie I’m sorry for the mess. I’ll take care of it soon. I just…”

He squeezed her shoulder and went back inside. Ori swallowed and stepped closer to the woman. “Sorry to disturb you, but…is this Bag End?”

“It is,” She said, removing the cigar from her lips. “Door’s open, just pay the porter a pound and you’re set, Mate.”

Ori nodded, appalled by her manners, and approached the door, pulling a pound note free. He handed it to the man out front, who dipped his head in thanks, and Ori stepped inside. It smelt of smoke and whiskey. A few were playing cards in the corner. There were two men in the corner, vigorously kissing. Ori looked away, blushing, and approached the bar.

Behind it was another woman with blonde hair pulled into an elegant, low bun. He sat down and she smiled. “What can I get you, lad?” another woman with a man’s voice, this one didn’t bother _trying_ to sound feminine and Ori stared. He blushed again at the raised eyebrow.

“Ale?” he said.

“You’re new,” she stated. Ori nodded. She held her hand out. “Bilbo Baggins, owner.”

“Ori,” he said, taking Bilbo’s hand. Bilbo motioned to the man Kili called Uncle.

“My husband, or would be if it were legal for two blokes to wed.” Bilbo handed him an ale and approached another man in the corner. Ori watched her (him? He was very confused) and turned away.

The man she was talking to was his fisherman.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, Ori,” Bilbo said, setting the ale down in front of him. “What brings you to Bag End?”

Ori bit his lip. “Just…curiosity, I guess.” He really didn’t know how much to divulge to Bilbo or even if he could trust her. (He was still confused as to which pronouns to use for Bilbo, but guessed that perhaps the feminine pronouns were appropriate for now?)

“Just curiosity,” Bilbo repeated, humming. “Well, if you’re curious about what it’s like loving a bloke, you’ve come to the right place. Perhaps not _the_ best, but better than some in this part of London…oh, Kili! Feeling better, love?”

Ori looked at Kili again, noticing how some eyes fixed on her (him?) as she walked around the bar and knelt. “A bit,” Kili admitted. She stood, holding a broom and dustpan in hand. She strode down the hallway. Bilbo’s nails drummed against the counter.

“Nephew?” Ori asked.

“Niece, actually,” Bilbo said, arching a brow. “And it’d be best to remember that. She was born in the wrong body, you see. Physically, her body is male, but beside that, she is _very_ much a woman. Not that many would accept that…” Bilbo’s brow knit in irritation and Ori decided to just drink his ale. He might be curious about Kili—hell, what sort of story did that create? His fingers itched for a pen…

“She seems…popular?”

Bilbo laughed. “She’s got her uncle’s looks, for sure.”

“What about me?” the man Ori only knew as “uncle” asked.

“Nothing, Thorin. How’s your leg?”

“Could be better,” he said, smirking. Ori suddenly felt he’d intruded on something rather intimate and tried to be discrete in putting distance between them and him.

Something hit the back of Thorin’s head and he rounded on Ori’s fisherman. “Tell me you’re drunk enough that I’ll need to kick your ass out of here.”

“You’re scaring the kid, you two,” he said. “Tone it down.”

Bilbo laughed and Thorin grumbled. Ori, however, felt his heart sink. _Kid_. Of course, he’d be seen as a _kid_. Forget that he was twenty years old and studying art and literature at Oxford. To most of the men here, he was, for all intents and purpose, a _kid_.

“Pay Dwalin no mind, Ori,” Bilbo said. “Could I get you another ale?”

“Uh…just one more shouldn’t hurt,” he mumbled. “Thanks.”

“How old are you, anyway, kid?” Thorin asked. “Couldn’t be more than twenty, I guess.”

“Yes, Sir,” Ori said, not quite liking the smirk lighting his face. “Why?”

A rag hit Thorin’s face. “Make yourself useful and wipe down some tables. And _don’t_ go about matchmaking yet! Kili just had her heart broken.”

“Thranduil never deserved her anyway.”

“I know, love, but give her some time,” Bilbo sighed. Thorin grumbled and went to do as he was told. “Idiot,” she mumbled before turning to Dwalin. “And you! If you’re going to work here from here on, you might as well make yourself useful, too!”

“Fine, Boss,” Dwalin said.

Ori blanched. He stood and lay out a couple pound notes on the table. “I have to go,” he said, fleeing. If Dwalin was working for Bilbo now, did that mean he didn’t work for Dori anymore? He didn’t seem like the kind of person to moonlight…well, maybe he did? Ori didn’t know and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He stopped and leaned against a shop.

A part of him wanted to go back. The other part told him to never return, to forget about what he encountered and leave it be. He bit his lip and sighed.

 _I’ll go back next week,_ he thought. _Give it another go. Yeah. One more time, we’ll see how it goes from there._ With that decided, he returned home, bade Maribeth hello and goodnight, and flopped on his bed. Why did he run off anyway? He didn’t fire Dwalin (and he didn’t know if Dwalin _had_ been fired). Whatever his situation was, it wasn’t on him.

He had nothing to feel guilty about!

Ori huffed and stood, stripping out of his day clothes and into his night ones.

He’d try again next week. It wasn’t like the experience was all bad around. When he fell asleep, he dreamt of cigar smoke and petticoats.

When he woke the following morning, he was annoyed with himself for thinking of the woman with the wrong body, a cigar between her lips and dark hair pinned up on her head.

#

Monday was as dreary as Ori felt. He’d not slept well at all Saturday night and Dori had pressed him to tell him where he’d gone. He and Dori rarely fought. They’d not fought in years and Ori never raised his voice. Shouting at Dori had startled both of them, but there it was.

He hadn’t apologized yet, almost scared to do so because he was certain his brother would use the opportunity to get Ori to reveal where he’d been. For now, they avoided each other. For Ori it allowed him to think. Likely, he’d just apologize and remind Dori that he was (despite what his brother thought) an adult capable of making his own decisions and ought to be trusted to be responsible.

Granted, perhaps going to a bar for…others like himself wasn’t all that responsible…but at least he could find a place where he really did fit in. Still, it would have to wait till Dori was off work. Two days was long enough to let it fester.

“Ori?”

He paused and turned to the man, blinking. For a moment, he didn’t recognize him till he smiled.

“Bilbo?” Ori asked, startled. Bilbo was wearing plain trousers and a matching jacket. His hair was short and his face void of makeup. “I thought…”

“That’s my night job,” he said, cutting Ori off. “And best not to speak of it so openly.” Right. That would be wise. “You didn’t mention you were a student here.”

“I didn’t know you were a…student?”

“Professor,” Bilbo corrected. “I teach history.” Well that explained why they hadn’t crossed paths before. “What’s your focus?”

“Art and literature,” Ori said.

Bilbo nodded. “Hmm,” he said. “Are you all right? You took off quite suddenly the other night.”

“I’m fine, it’s just…I know Dwalin, he doesn’t know me, erm…his previous employer is my older brother."

“Oh? Best not tell him that, then. He’s still incensed about losing his job. Can’t blame him. He worked for your brother nearly fifteen years.”

“I know…my family’s got some financial issues, and my brother figured it was either pay cuts or let goes. It’s not as though he enjoyed it.” Bilbo hummed again. Ori lowered his eyes. “I’ve two brothers,” he admitted. “The eldest is the owner and the other one has a gambling addiction. He’s been…he won’t get help and I don’t…I want to do something to make it easier for Dori, but…”

Bilbo led him into a café and they ordered tea. “Everyone falls on hard times,” he said. “It’s what you do about it that makes you the person you are. So, a brother of yours has made a bad decision and the result of his decision has affected the rest of his family and _even_ those he does not interact with. I take it he doesn’t take criticism well?”

Ori shook his head.

“There is little you can do. Are you on a trust?”

“For now,” Ori said. “I don’t use it much.”

“Kili needs an art tutor.”

Ori blinked. “What?”

“Since she was disowned by her parents and came to live with Thorin and me, we’ve done our best to give her a lady’s education. She’ll never be recognized as a lady and spends most of her time at home, hiding because of how the rest of the world will see her if she so much as steps out the door. She dresses the way she does because it makes her feel better about herself. You didn’t get a good impression of Kili when you met the other night, but it was a hard day for her. It happens. All in all, she’s easily bored and easily irritated. Since you’re an art student, perhaps you can teach her how to draw and paint. It’d keep her busy. There’s only so much needle work one can do before they go mad.”

Ori could understand that. Of course, he knew nothing of needlework (though he secretly liked knitting).

“You’ll be paid by the hour for each session. It’s not much of an income, but it’s something to help wean off your trust.” Ori drank his tea, contemplating the offer.

Well, it’s not what he was hoping for, but it would do. He nodded. “I suppose I can do that.”

“Wonderful! Come by Bag End tonight with your schedule and we can work something out with Thorin and Kili.” Bilbo stood, “I have to get to class, but I’ll see you tonight.”

“Right.”

He left and Ori wondered if he made the right decision.

He really hoped so.

#

In hindsight, this was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

What if he was caught? What if Dori found out? What if—

He entered Bag End, noticing there was significantly less smoke and less people, though there were still some men about, talking, laughing, flirting…Ori ignored it and sat at the bar again, pulling his messenger bag onto his lap and waited for Bilbo and perhaps Thorin to find him.

He heard footsteps from upstairs and Kili appeared, wearing a lavender skirt and cream blouse that hid her neck around it was a jeweled, oval shaped broach. Her hair was gently curled and pulled out of her face. She approached him, skirt sweeping the ground and a gentle click of boots.

“My uncles will be down in a bit,” she said, sitting beside him. “I’m sorry about Bilbo. He can twist an arm when he really wants to.”

“I don’t mind,” Ori said. “Unless you do—not to say that, uh…”

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Kili said, hands resting on her lap. “Too many get nervous around me.”

“It’s not that! I just…I’m new at this. I don’t…know how to do anything. Let alone talk.” Ori laid his head on the table. “It’s been a trying weekend.”

“Don’t I know it,” Kili agreed.

“I’m sorry about your breakup,” Ori said. “Your uncle…”

“Which one? At the moment, there’s two. Though, later, Bilbo will be going by Auntie.”

“That’s another thing I don’t quite understand—I’m not judging! I’m just…curious.”

“Bilbo isn’t like me, if that’s what you’re wondering. He just switches around. Sometimes Bilbo prefers masculine, other times feminine, hence the two jobs. They allow him to entertain both sides of who he is. It’d be easier on me if I was like him in that regard, but…”

“I think you’re fine as you are,” Ori said. Kili arched a brow and Ori blushed. “I mean that you’re pretty. When I saw you last, I never would have guessed that you were…I’ll just shut up.”

“That would be wise. Thank you.”

His blush deepened and he looked away before he embarrassed himself further. Perhaps it’d be best if he just stayed away from this topic. At least until he understood it better.

Bilbo came out, clutching his— _her_ stomach. Her dress was bright red with black lace. Save for a ring on her left hand, her arms were bare to the shoulders where a black shawl rested and a black choker around her neck.

“I bloody hate corsets.”

“So do I,” Kili said. “But you don’t hear me complaining.”

“You wear them more often than I do,” Bilbo snapped. “I think I’ve a right to complain. To add, you don’t have to worry about this rat’s nest of a wig!”

It was actually a very nice wig, if Ori said so. Which he didn’t. After his slip with Kili, he decided it wiser to just keep his mouth shut for the time being, lest he embarrass himself again. Thorin, Ori noticed, was keeping his distance, but the stare sent his way was warning enough.

“All right, Ori, did you remember your schedule?” Bilbo asked. Ori jumped and pulled it free. The three of them reviewed it, deciding on three days in the week where he could stop by and tutor Kili. They agreed on five pounds a session, making it fifteen pounds a week. There was also an offer of free food and Ori wasn’t daft enough to turn that down. Who didn’t like free food?

From there, they discussed what Ori could teach Kili and what she’d need. He figured sketching would be a good place to start and work up to something more complicated. Eager or not, Kili was at least willing. Perhaps out of boredom, like Bilbo had said. In the end, they agreed to begin on Wednesday.

“Are you sure you won’t stay a little longer?” Bilbo asked. “A drink on the house.”

“Thank you, but I need to get home before my brother…well, one brother staying out late is more than he can handle right now. I’ll take it up on Saturday though,” he said, tipping his hat to Bilbo and Ori.

“I like him,” he heard Thorin announce before the door closed. Ori huffed. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!

Most of his sessions with Kili were supervised by Thorin, who often found them in one of the brighter rooms, trying not to scare Ori and often doing just that despite Bilbo’s and Kili’s assurances that Thorin liked him. Kili was often frustrated with her sketches despite Ori assuring her that most beginning artists were much worse (they were, admittedly, also much younger than Kili was).

He grew used to being in Bag End with each session and his tutoring sessions with Kili became less professional as they found things outside of art to bond over. One was Stevenson’s _Treasure Island_ that had finally been bound into a book the previous year. Kili had read it through the periodicals, something Ori admitted he could never manage.

“I tried once,” he said. “It was annoying. I can’t jump from book to book like that and actually managed to get details screwed up. One book per time, thank you very much. That said, I got it as a Christmas gift last year. Couldn’t put it down for days after.”

“I know what you mean,” Kili said. “It did make it easier to read after…more so with _the Merry Adventures of Robin Hood_. Have you read that?”

“Not outside my literature courses,” he admitted.

Kili jumped to her feet and strode to a bookshelf. She handed him a green covered book with the image of the iconic outlaw with his bow poised etched into the front. He opened it and stared at the first page:

**_THE MERRY ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD_ **

**_HOWARD PYLE_ **

“Thank you,” Ori said. “Do you write?”

“Outside of journaling, no,” Kili said. “I’m sadly limited in my imagination and words don’t come easily for me. But I love reading. It’s as close to an escape as I can get from these walls.”

“I don’t think your uncles are keeping you here against your will.”

“Oh, no, they aren’t. Many think so at Thorin’s company, though, since he rarely shows up at functions with Bilbo. They know he’s ‘married,’” she closed the word in finger quotes. “But because Bilbo and I are physically _unfeminine_ , it can be difficult. It was easier when they were younger.”

“You’re young.”

“But tall. I certainly sound more masculine than I’d like. My shoulders have gotten wider too and…” she touched her throat, covered by the collar, but Ori knew she was touching her Adam’s apple. “When I came here, it was easier to go out, we went to the zoo and carnivals, just me and Thorin or Bilbo. Never together. Too risky. Now it’s riskier since I’m an adult now.”

Ori frowned. “Some women are tall.”

“My voice—”

“It’s not as bad as you think,” Ori said. “I understand why you’re scared, Kili.” He did, if he’s outed as a man in a dress, the Met would have viable reason to arrest him for buggery. No one would believe that Kili dressed in women’s clothes because it made her feel better about herself. “But you won’t know without taking those risks.”

Kili stared at him, unmoved. “People have been arrested for merely walking out of their houses in dresses,” she said. “I don’t want to put my uncles at risk.”

“They’re together, aren’t they? They must have risked it before.”

“I’m afraid I’m not as brave as them, but yes,” Kili said.

Ori hummed. “ _Nell Gwyne_ is going to be performing next month at the Avenue Theatre,” he said. “My brother’s threatening me to take a friend lest I want to be stuck with him that night. At least think about it?” Kili still frowned at him.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll think about it.”

Ori smiled and kissed Kili’s hand. “Thank you,” he said, almost missing the faint blush coloring her cheeks. “So…I’ll read this and I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Kili nodded, covering her hand with the other. Ori packed his things, slung it over his shoulder, and tipped his hat to Kili before descending the steps and into the bar. He almost paused when he spotted Dwalin behind the bar.

“G’evening, Kid,” Dwalin said.

“Not a kid,” Ori said.

“Right, cuz being in your twenties makes you an adult,” Dwalin muttered. It was usually the basis of their conversation lately.

Ori grinned. “And being in your thirties does?”

“Been at it longer,” Dwalin snapped. Ori just laughed and dodged the cloth Dwalin threw at him as he made his way to the door. “Are you comin’ in tomorrow?”

Ori paused and looked at him. “I have been the last couple months. Why would I stop now?”

Dwalin shrugged. “Be careful with her. The princess doesn’t need false hope.” _The princess_ : Kili’s nickname. Most called her so because of how reclusive she was, like a princess trapped in a tower and her fear is her dragon. Even Bilbo and Thorin called her “princess.”

“I’m not giving her false hope,” Ori said. At least, he hoped not. “I got to go if I don’t want my brother getting suspicious. See you tomorrow, Dwalin.”

“Aye.”

Ori walked out the door and down the street to flag a cab home. Once in the cab, he was left with time to think, frowning at the words Dwalin had sent him. Why would he give Kili false hope? He’d done nothing he’d do to other women in his life. He was her tutor and, hopefully, also a friend.

Maybe Dwalin thought he’d overstepped himself somehow. Ori didn’t think so. He shook his head and pulled out the _Robin Hood_ book Kili had lent him…on second thought, it was too dark to read. Frustrated, he put the book back and stared out the window instead as rain beat down on the canvas above him. He’d start reading when he had the chance to…

True, Kili was beautiful in her own way, but Ori didn’t find himself…he didn’t think of her romantically. No, such thoughts and fantasies were for Dwalin, not that Dwalin would ever know, of course. Besides, Kili had many men vying for her attention. Of course, hardly anyone seemed worthy of Kili if they were to ask Thorin. He was rather protective of his niece.

On arriving at home, Ori hung up his coat and hat as Maribeth rounded the corner. “Oh, Master Ori, dinner’s served in the dining room, though I would be careful around Master Dori.”

“Not a good day?”

“I’m afraid not, Sir,” she said. “I’ll take your bag up to your room, shall I?”

“Yes, thank you, Maribeth,” Ori said, embracing her, and heading into the dining room, Dori was glaring at his plate and for a moment, his glare was on Ori, who nearly made a tactical retreat at the scathing glance. Nori was gone again. He sat across from Dori.

“You’ve been out often,” Dori said.

“I’m not doing anything you need to worry about.”

“Considering you’re using less of your trust, I figured you got a job part time somewhere _despite_ my telling you to focus on your studies.”

“If it helps, this job is related to my studies,” Ori said a little more snippily than he intended. He bit his lip and scooped some beans onto his plate.

Dori massaged his head. “Debt collectors came by again,” he said. “I’m afraid it’s getting to a point where I’ll have to cut Nori off. I don’t want to, but if this keeps up.”

Ori figured it was something like that. He looked up. “Use my trust.”

“Ori—”

“My job pays fifteen pounds a week and I know that’s not much, but I like it enough and I’m on scholarship at school. I don’t need it. I still live here, after all, so I’m not worried about any of that. Just use it to pay the debts already. We’ll both deal with Nori when he comes home again.”

“I don’t know—”

“Dori, it has to stop. You know that. He’s destroying himself and he’s dragging us and the company down with him.”

“He doesn’t respond well to confrontation.”

“What other choice is there?” Ori asked. “I love you both, you’re my brothers, but Nori’s been destructive and there has to be a reason why! I don’t see any other options here.”

Dori nodded, massaging his forehead. “All right, I’ll schedule an intervention.” Ori sniffed and turned to his plate. He didn’t have much of an appetite right now.

#

Bag End was always busiest on weekend evenings, and while it often cut into Bilbo’s time for grading, it was always an enjoyable reprieve from the mundane university life. Kili was refilling drinks for a quartet in the corner. She seemed livelier tonight compared to other nights, smiling and laughing.

Bilbo was glad to see her smiling again, despite Thorin pestering whether her good mood had to do with Ori. Not that it mattered much. Ori was a sweet boy, but Bilbo didn’t think he fancied Kili as more than a friend. Not with the way he flirted with Dwalin so openly. (And not that Thorin noticed the way Ori looked at Dwalin compared to Kili.)

“Ori invited me to see _Nell Gwynne_ next month,” Kili admitted when Bilbo finally had the moment to ask what had her in a good mood.

“Oh?” Bilbo said, grinning. “That sounds fun.”

“It does…”

“You don’t know if you want to go.”

“I want to, but would it be…”

“Kili, Thorin and I first went out to see _Lurline_. We were—”

“Fourteen years old,” Kili said, “And you still have the dress you wore and the jewelry. I know. I’m eighteen, Bilbo. It’s a lot easier for a fourteen year old boy to pass as a girl than it is for an eighteen year old.” Bilbo sighed. Kili knew them too well.

“Story or no story, getting out of the house, getting fresh air, it’d do you good. You should get out.”

“I went out,” Kili said, frowning.

“Thranduil wasn’t the same and you know it. At least with Ori, Thorin and I won’t be worried that you’ll not come home.”

“He wasn’t that bad,” Kili muttered. Someone called for her and she went over to see to his needs. Bilbo crossed her arms and sighed frowning. That girl was going to drive her poor uncle into an early grave one day. Thorin was too much of a worrywart when it came to his family.

Arms snaked around his waist and a pair of lips surrounded by a beard pressed against his cheek. “You are beautiful,” Thorin whispered.

“Sap,” Bilbo replied fondly, turning her head to press her lips to Thorin’s. “What did you do now?”

“Nothing! What? I can’t kiss my wife?” Bilbo arched a brow and Thorin slumped his shoulders. “I have next weekend off and am hoping you’ll do me a solid and cut Dwalin some slack so we can go hunting. It would help him since he’s still a bit riled about losing his job at Rison’s.”

“Yes, you and Dwalin may spend brotherly time next weekend,” Bilbo said.

“Thank you,” he said, kissing his cheek again.

“Instead of being lovey dovey, you could actually _help_ us,” Dwalin snapped. Kili had not even looked at them, though the sour look on her face said she had seen them kiss at least and was now doing her best to ignore them.

Thorin kissed Bilbo’s hand once and approached Dwalin.

Bilbo huffed and narrowed her eyes at a man who had been eyeing Kili a little too much for her liking. She squared her shoulders and approached him, hoping one warning would be enough for him to know to leave Kili be if he valued his limbs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lurline is a romance themed opera a la "The Little Mermaid," in its own way, that came out in 1860.  
> Nell Gwynne is a comedy themed operetta that came out in February 1884.


	4. Chapter 4

“Dwalin seems to be under the impression that you fancy me romantically,” Kili said in the middle of a lesson. Ori’s chalk scraped against the page in his shock. He set it down.

“Sorry?” he said.

“I know you don’t,” Kili said. “Hard not to notice with the way you look at him.” Ori felt like he should be apologizing anyway if only for the misunderstanding. “Don’t worry about it so much,” she said, poking his forehead and leaving a black smudge on Ori’s forehead. “For a bit, I thought I fancied you, too. What with the invitation to the opera and all.”

“Yeah, it was just a friendly extension. I didn’t mean to…”

“Make trouble?”

“Yes,” Ori said, blushing.

“You needn’t worry. I’m still not over Thranduil. It’s getting easier though.”

Ori’s blush subsided. “You aren’t obligated to tell me, but what happened between you and him?”

“You’re right: I’m not obligated to tell you and I’m not sure I want to. I just want to forget I ever knew him, to be honest.” She ducked her head back to her sketch journal. Ori picked his back up, turning to a fresh page. He glanced at Kili again and frowned. She wasn’t drawing.

“Kili?”

“Thranduil was…well, he wasn’t a friend of Thorin’s, but they worked together and though they hate each other, they worked _well_. At least they used to until we met last year. He said he’d figure out what terrible things Thorin had been doing to Bilbo and me and followed him here to Bag End, only to find that we’re queer. He had kept to the shadows and I didn’t know he was Thorin’s co-worker until much later. We had a few drinks and he tried to kiss me. Except, you know, my family’s rather protective.”

Ori nodded. They were very protective.

“Bilbo slipped a tray between us and told him to rethink what he was doing. Bilbo might not look it, but he’s actually very strong. I’ve been watching him singlehandedly throw drunks out on their butts for years, after all. He can be quite scary when he wants to be. Thorin came over after that and recognized him. He pulled Thranduil aside and they argued.”

She closed her mouth, quiet.

“How’s your drawing coming along?” Ori asked, peering over her shoulder. They were still on still-life portraits and the arches of the fruit and bowl was still uneven, but compared to where they were when they began, it was much better. She was improving. 

She didn't respond and Ori sat back down in his own chair. 

“In Japan, there’s a method where they fix broken pottery with gold or silver lacquer,” he said. “The idea behind it is that the cracks are part of the pottery and so they are highlighted rather than hidden.” Ori moved back to his seat. “The pain we carry doesn’t define us, nor is it meant to be hidden, I think. I think our past is what defines us and this process—called _Kintsugi_ —in a way, represents the healing process.”

Kili stared at him and Ori rubbed the back of his neck. “Our past doesn’t make us worthless or broken. It just…makes us stronger,” he said. “If that makes sense?”

“It does,” Kili said. She smiled. “And you should be careful what you say. Out of context, some might think you’re amorous for me.”

“Well, even if I’m not, you’re still beautiful, Kili. That’s what I’m trying to say.”

Kili blushed. “You’re too sweet.” Ori shrugged, burying his nose in his sketchbook in hopes of getting back to where he was before Kili drew him into this conversation. He probably should have, otherwise he’d have caught the grin spread on her face that foretold mischief. “You know, I think I will go to the opera with you,” she said.

“Okay,” Ori said. “At least I can get my brother off my back then.”

“Mm-hm,” Kili said. “But promise to help me find a dress.”

“Sure—what? I know nothing about women’s fashion!”

“Relax, it won’t be that bad,” Kili said, grinning. Ori whimpered. He had a very bad feeling about this, but Kili laughed and The door creaked open to show Thorin’s trademark glare.

“Hi, uncle,” Kili giggled while Ori tried not to cower under that stare. Caught, Thorin stepped in.

“Everything well?”

“Yes,” Kili said. “Ori agreed to help me pick out a dress for the opera.”

“You’d have better luck finding something with Bilbo.”

“I know, but this will be fun.”

“If you were to get out of the house, maybe it’d be more fun,” Thorin said.

Kili stiffened at that. “I can’t. I don’t—”

“The Met and I have an understanding. You can’t let one incident push you down. If you’re keen on going to the opera, you might as well go get some fresh air and find a dress.”

“But—”

“Ori,” Thorin said. Ori almost jumped. “Would you excuse us for a moment?”

Kili looked anything but comfortable with him leaving, but Ori didn’t think Thorin would permit him to stay afterward if he didn’t obey this request. So he packed his things, mumbled about being downstairs if he was needed, and fled.

He slid into a chair at the bar. “You look tense,” Dwalin said.

“Could I have a whiskey?” Ori asked.

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Thorin and Kili are talking. She didn’t seem…happy.”

“What about? Oh! The opera?” Ori nodded. Dwalin handed him a glass. “She’ll need to get out eventually. Thorin means well, but sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth.”

“She wants me to help pick out a dress, so…”

“Getting out and doing that would be step one.”

“But she’s scared of the met. I get that, really I do.”

“We all do,” Dwalin said. “Every time someone leaves, they might go to the met and out us. Kili’s first experience with them was a couple years ago. Just minding her business, getting some groceries. Someone pointed out that she looked too masculine and the met arrested her. Think on that: you’re sixteen years old, just running an errand for your uncles, and you’re arrested just based on how you’re dressed. Poor girl has been too scared to step out these doors without escort since and especially not in daylight. You’ll have to ask her for further details, but honestly, we all have traumas we’d rather forget. Especially where the Metropolitan Police are concerned.”

Ori nodded and took a drink. His nose wrinkled at the taste. Dwalin arched a brow. “First time with whiskey?”

“That obvious?” Ori asked, coughing.

“Drink up,” Dwalin said. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Should you have told me that story?”

“It’s similar to other tales, I skimmed over other details. As I said, you’ll have to see Kili for the whole story,” Dwalin said, “But with that in mind, if Thorin convinces her, you’d best be ready to defend her or suffer the consequences.”

Kili appeared in the doorway. She looked pale and near ready to faint. Ori jumped up and steadied her. “Are you okay?” he asked. Kili looked at him, brown eyes wide with doe-like fear.

“Not really,” she admitted. “Could use a drink. Or a smoke.”

“Got some bourbon.”

“I think I’d rather have some red wine,” she snapped. “Or a cigar, if you’ve got one.” Dwalin rolled his eyes and handed her a cigar and a match. Kili looked at Ori. “Thorin agreed to come with us to find a dress,” she said. “But to be frank, I’m still not…comfortable with it.”

“That’s okay,” Ori said. “It’s enough that you’re willing to try. Right? And you’re uncle and I will be with you the whole time.” He offered her a reassuring smile as Kili blew the smoke out from between her teeth and her shoulders sagged as if the tension melted away.

“Dwalin told you?”

“Only that you had a traumatic experience with the met,” he admitted. She glared at Dwalin, who pointedly looked away.

“Well, he’s _not_ wrong.”

Ori stood. “Kili, if people are bothered by you wearing a dress, they are the ones with a problem,” he said. “You like them. That’s what matters. Those who care about how you dress don’t matter and those who don’t care about it are always around you.”

Kili managed a small smile and nudged her head toward Dwalin. He seemed angry.

“Best be careful what you say,” she said. “Your feelings aren’t as unrequited as you think.” Ori blushed and ducked his head.

“Is that all, Miss Kili?”

“Yes, it is,” Kili said, smiling. Ori kissed her hand and left, ignoring the eyes that were on him. He stopped and turned around. “I finished the book you lent me and I forgot it. I’ll bring it next time.”

“So long as I do get it back,” Kili said, biting the butt of the cigar between her teeth. Ori chuckled. “Later, then. Good afternoon.” He tipped his hat and ran out the door. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and focused on how to best describe the feeling of crisp January air stinging his nose.

#

_Your feelings aren’t as unrequited as you think._

Ori chewed his lower lip as he drew Dwalin again. On paper, he was leaning against the bar, sleeves rolled up his arms and smirking with a cigar between his teeth. He looked happy in a feral sort of way. Ori swallowed saliva, licking his lips. He set the pencil down and sighed, massaging his forehead.

Kili thinks Dwalin loves him? Impossible. Dwalin seemed quite intent on making it seem like he sees Ori as a nuisance. Perhaps they’ve been reading it wrong. Way he acts, Ori almost felt convinced that Dwalin was in love with Kili. It hurt to think about, but he could live with it.

It wasn’t like he’d find happiness with Dwalin anyway. He could be realistic. The Dwalin he fancied himself in love with wasn’t real. The Dwalin he loved was on paper, a drawing. But the real Dwalin was gruff. He was strong. Even crude…

A part of Ori wondered at the idea of himself and Kili. It seemed like many were thinking that they ought to get together or already were. It’d likely be healthier…

Ori put the notebook away and turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling. The fantasy man or the real girl trapped in a boy’s body?

He sat up and jumped at another notebook and his pencil, quickly sketching Kili with a book in her hand. He made sure to make her look more feminine, softer features, angular cheekbones, smaller nose, fuller lips, smaller chin and narrower shoulders.

He didn’t understand, he knew that, but he was learning. He wanted to understand her. He wanted to figure her out. He did the best he could and sometimes he knew he slipped up sometimes. The awkwardness of it passed with a clearing of throats and pretending he hadn’t slipped up at all. Ori knew it bothered her, though, being misgendered…

She was drawn with the white blouse and lavender skirt she wore at their first lesson. The amethyst broach clasped to her collar was studded with diamonds if he remembered. Even if it didn’t look that way, her family was wealthy. Not like his…

“Who’s that?”

Ori jumped, gasping, and turned to Nori. “I didn’t hear you come in,” he said.

“Clearly,” Nori said, pulling the portrait free. “This the girl you’re tutoring? She’s lovely. Single?”

“I fail to see where that’s your concern,” Ori snapped, standing and reaching for it. Nori pulled it out of his reach. “Nori, give it back.”

“Is. She. Single?”

“Again, that’s none of your business!”

Nori sat on the bed, staring at it. “She’s rich, judging by the broach. Dori would like that.”

“You mean _you_ would,” Ori snarled. He doubted Nori would think her as pretty if he met her in real life. He’d probably hand her over to the met sooner than nothing. Ori hated thinking his brothers would betray him so horribly, but he couldn’t trust them with this! Not after seeing how happy Thorin and Bilbo were. In so many ways, he wondered at their culture.

He couldn’t help but feel angry about it.

Nori set it down. “Bring her over sometime. And give me fair warning. I’d like to look my best when I meet your girlfriend, Ori.”

“It’s not like that,” he said, snatching it back.

“Sure it’s not,” Nori said with a salacious smirk. “See you at dinner, yeah?” He left and Ori still didn’t feel like he could breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kintsugi, or kintsukoroi (?), is a lacquer repair method using gold or other precious metals that can be melted and used as a sort of glue to piece broken pottery and such together. It's meant to be more aesthetically appealing as opposed to the previous use of "stapling" objects back together. 
> 
> So! I originally wanted this to be a Dwori and in a way it is, but what do you guys think. Would you rather this progress into a Kili/Ori story? And yes, there's also Fili/Ori listed though I hadn't gotten to that yet (and won't for a while), but since it's not following my plot map at all...  
> Thoughts?


	5. Chapter 5

Thorin and Kili met Ori outside Bag End. She was dressed in a lavender paisley gown with a lace bow around her neck, her hands donned in white gloves and her hair had been meticulously pinned to her head in a low bun. A lady’s cap had been tied in place under her chin. Thorin wore a basic black suit and grey overcoat and hat. Kili was pale and when she took Ori’s offered arm. He could feel her trembling.

“We’ll be going to the dress maker Bilbo goes to,” Thorin said more for Kili than Ori though he handed a slip of paper to him. “You’ll lead the way. I don’t know the way and Bilbo’s too busy to come with us today.”

“Okay,” Ori said, feeling very confused.

Oh, he could guess why Bilbo would be busy. It couldn’t be easy being a teacher on top of a pub-owner. He didn’t understand why Thorin wanted him to have it until he stepped behind them.

_They want it to seem like he’s Kili’s chaperone? But wouldn’t that normally be Bilbo?_

In the end, he used the written directions rather than question it.

“This is nice, isn’t it?” Ori asked Kili. She nodded, biting her lip. “You’re not going to talk anytime soon, are you?” She shook her head. He glanced at Thorin, who sighed, shaking his head. _Don’t bother trying_. Ori gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

The sky greyed and Ori felt a drop of water trail past his cheek. Kili opened her parasol, shielding the both of them as Ori turned his coat collar up to protect his neck from the cold. At last, they arrived at the tailor and he held the door open for her as Kili removed her gloves.

“Thorin Durin!” A man shouted, approaching them. Thorin grinned. “It is good to see you, Mr. Hardbottle,” he greeted.

“No Bilbo this time?”

“I’m afraid history essays are his top priority at the moment. Rather, I’ve brought another customer of yours.” He motioned to Kili, who blushed.

Mr. Hardbottle arched a brow at her. “At long last, we meet, Miss Durin,” he said, bowing to her. “I worried my dresses wouldn’t suit you, despite Bilbo’s claims. To be honest, Miss, you ought to have been coming in regardless so that your dresses would have a better fit.”

“Met,” is all she said, “Didn’t want to take that risk again.”

Sympathy shone in his eyes. “But she’s so young!”

“Aye,” Thorin said darkly. “Never mind that, Kili needs an evening gown for the opera next month.”

Mr. Hardbottle hummed, tapping his chin and approached Kili. Ori gave him some berth, allowing the tailor to circle around Kili.

“You’d look good in a blue evening gown. Blue silk, black taffeta…I would suggest black boots to match and a black lace fan. Most women will wear something more revealing, but for lasses such as yourself, that usually isn’t an option…still, with enough ruffle in front…yes…”

He picked up a notebook and started to sketch. Ori itched to look over his shoulder, see what he came up with. Instead, he made his way over to Thorin. “Does he normally…”

“Yes,” Thorin said. “You should see what he and Bilbo come up with together. Most of Bilbo’s clothes have a bit of his own opinion, though I don’t think Kili’s going to be shouting suggestions any time soon.”

“You’re hair’s so dark, I’m a bit afraid black ribbon won’t be seen. Blue ribbons then. Yes…”

“I was thinking we should go have tea after this,” Thorin said. “I think it’d help her.”

“At Bag End?”

“No, there’s a nice shop not far from here.”

“I don’t know if Kili…”

“Ori, how long do you think the opera will last? An hour? Two? No, I think it will be closer to three. Most people go to dinner right after and I would rather Kili have the whole experience of it.”

Ori blushed. “Er…Kili and I are just friends.” Thorin nodded. “You know?”

“I like you, Ori. You’re a good lad and you treat Kili well. True, you’ve had some slips but you’re getting better at avoiding those. To add, you don’t treat Kili as if she’s something to play with for a while. Bilbo and I do our best to protect her, and Dwalin helps, too, of course. But we can’t relate with Kili, which is easier to do when you’re closer in age.”

Ori wasn’t sure if there was a compliment in there or not, so he didn’t comment.

“In as such, I would like you to take her to dinner after the opera ends. Show her that she can and does pass as who she is in society.”

“And if we’re caught by the met?”

“I can only give you a couple tips on that: the first is don’t even think about the met. It would only feed on your paranoia in a way that would stop you from enjoying the evening and therefore decrease your likelihood of being found by them. The second is, if in fact you are caught, don’t let them know you’re scared. Hold your head high and defend Kili. Even mention my name, if it comes to it. I have said it before: the metropolitan police won’t cross me.”

“Yeah, I heard that before, but I don’t understand what that means.”

“Let’s just say, with enough money and enough connections, you can get away with murder,” Thorin said ominously. Ori swallowed and stepped away. Kili had gotten over her shyness and now stood beside Mr. Hardbottle, looking over the designs for her dress, eyes bright and a smile on her lips.

“I am not asking you to be her partner, though if you were to change your mind, I would not object,” Thorin said. “No. Rather, being her friend is enough. She needed one. Especially given what’s going on in her life right now.”

“Oh,” Ori said. “Of course.”

#

“Are you _ever_ going to bring her over?” Nori asked. Ori glanced up from his work book and frowned.

“Who?”

“The girl!”

“Kili?”

“Is that her name?”

“It is. Why are you so invested in meeting her?”

“She’s pretty,” Nori said, looking at the drawing of Kili again. “Need I another reason?”

“If that is your reason, then I am keeping you as far away from her as possible,” Ori sneered. “She’s not some girl who you can dangle about.”

“I never said she was. Just that she’s pretty and I’d like to at the very least kiss those pretty hands.”

Ori wasn’t going to tell him the truth any time soon, though it’d be funny to see him flounder about when he realized that Kili was queer. Except, after floundering, he’d ask Ori how he knew Kili and perhaps put together that Ori was also queer. And that couldn’t happen. Ever.

“Would you feel better inviting her parents to come too?”

“She lives with her uncle.” No need to mention she has two. “And no. I’m doing everything in my power to keep you away from her. Do me a favor and make it easier for me by leaving it be, all right?”

They glared at each other till Nori relented. “I just want to meet her, Ori.”

“And it’s not going to happen,” he said.

“Am I really not trustworthy enough to meet a lady friend of yours?”

“Yes,” Ori said without remorse and hesitation. He took a little pleasure in the gob smacked look on Nori’s face. He stood. “I think I’ll finish this in my room. Goodnight, Nori.”

“Oi! That’s it? You think I’m too unrespectable to meet this girl?!”

“You _are_ unrespectable,” Ori snapped. “Or need we have another talk about why Dori and I are so cross with you these days?” With that, he ran up the stairs and nearly bumped into Maribeth. He apologized for not watching his step and entered his room. He took a breath and held it for as long as he dared before releasing it, feeling a little calmer. He rubbed circles against his temple as he sat at his desk and drew the curtain back to let in the rare sunlight.

#

Following Ori wasn’t something Nori took to doing often, but there were some things that simply _needed_ to be found out. He didn’t know what it was about this girl that had caught his brother’s eye. Or why he himself was interested. More it had to do with Ori liking her, he guessed.

What other reason need there be?

Ori stopped outside some sort of pub and entered after greeting the guard out front. Why there was a guard, well, Nori couldn’t fathom. But once Ori stepped in, he approached.

“Ev’ning, Sir,” Nori said, smirking at him. The man arched a brow at him. “What?”

“A pound.”

“Huh?”

“If you want in, you need to pay. S’rules.”

“Who’s rules?!”

“The Missus’,” The man said, holding his hand out. Nori grumbled, but pressed the coin into his hand and entered. Ori sat at the bar, laughing with a bloke in a dress behind the bar.

Nori’s insides curdled and he looked around. There were definitely more men here than he expected and there was a couple at a table being a bit more affectionate with each other than he’d be comfortable with…

Nori sat in the corner, hoping to avoid detection, eyes on Ori’s back. A brunet approached. He—Nori was certain of that!—looked more feminine than the others here and it wasn’t a far cry to guess this was Ori’s “lady friend.”

 _Well, no wonder he wouldn’t say a thing!_ Nori thought. The brunet made his way toward him. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Have you rum?”

“Yes,” he said.

“And, uh, what’s with the dress?”

He stiffened.

“Kil— _Nori_!” Ori jumped up and approached them. He seized Nori’s shirt and shook him. “What are you doing here?! You followed me?!”

“Well, you weren’t as subtle in hiding things as you think.”

“You son of a bi—”

“Careful, Ori, that’s your mother you’re about to insult.”

“Ori?”

He looked at the brunet and released Nori’s shirt. “If you say _one thing_ to Dori…”

“Is something the matter?” They glanced at the blond and Nori felt his blood chill. There was something about his gaze that made him want to rethink it. That and the blokes behind him were pretty burly.

“No,” Nori said. “Just brotherly concern, you know.”

The blond didn’t seem all that convinced. “So uh, heard this place is run by a Missus?”

“That would be me,” the blond said. “Dwalin, Thorin, take care of the bar for me. Ori, you and your, er, brother should come with me. I don’t want any altercations on the floor. Do try not to break anything in the back room.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Ori said, seizing Nori’s arm and dragging him to the back.

“You’re queer?” Nori asked.

“Yes.”

“How long?”

“My whole life,” Ori said, pushing him into the back room. It was a sort of library. “And until now, I had done a fairly good job keeping that hidden! But you just _had_ to follow me!”

“You’re not selling your—”

Ori wrinkled his nose. “Bloody hell, Nori! No! I really am tutoring Kili—who is a woman.”

“Don’t look like a woman. Rather he’s—”

“ _She_.”

“A man in a dress. Albeit a rather good looking man, but a man nonetheless.”

“See? This is why I never said anything to you or Dori! You’d never understand nor would you even _try_ to! Kili’s physical appearance has no say over what she feels like. She feels happier when she’s in a dress and is referred to in the feminine pronoun. And as for the owner, her _aunt_ , Bilbo switches between genders. Here, she is female, in the world, he’s male.”

“But that’s all so confusing!”

“You get used to it. And if you tell Dori anything, I will…I will _castrate_ you!”

Nori blanched as Ori turned around and stormed out. _Well that could’ve gone better._


	6. Chapter 6

“He can stay,” Bilbo said. “But only if he behaves and only if he promises not to mention us to the Met. Despite what _he_ might think, I run a proper business here.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Ori said.

“I’ve more honor than that,” Nori said, arms crossed, though he still seemed rather uncomfortable in Bag End. Ori didn’t care. It was his own damn fault if he was uncomfortable. Ori felt at peace here.

“Really?” Ori asked. “You have _honor_? I find that rather hard to believe.”

Nori glared at him. “Despite what you think, Ori, I’m not about to send you to Bedlam and neither would Dori. To add, I’m better at keeping secrets than you are, anyway.”

“You’re still stealing Dori’s money to fuel your addiction. At least I’m _earning_ some.”

Bilbo whistled. “Behave yourselves,” she snapped. “Both of you. My pub is not going to be your new battleground. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ori said. Nori nodded.

“You’ve good liquor anyway,” he mumbled, downing another pint of ale. Once it was set down, Bilbo swiped it. “What are you doing?”

“Cutting you off before you do something stupid,” she said.

Nori glared at her for a moment before glancing at Thorin, whose glare was leagues above all glares. He looked down, scowling at the counter instead. “Fine.”

“Wise decision,” Bilbo said.

Ori stood. “I think I’ll just cut today’s visit short. It’s not been a very good one anyway. I am sorry about my idiot brother.”

“Hey!”

“His presence was not expected _nor_ wanted.”

“If it means nothing gets broken here, do as you wish,” Bilbo sighed. Ori stood and dragged Nori outside.

“There’s no need for this.”

“Considering I’m so mad that something might break regardless, it is,” Ori growled at him. Nori’s eyebrow arched. Whether he was unimpressed or something else, Ori couldn’t tell. Nor did he really care. Nori might have promised to keep his secret, but he couldn’t be sure that he really would.

“Look, I know I’m not exactly comfortable with you being queer, but I meant what I said. You’re my little brother, Ori. It doesn’t change that you’re a smart kid and I trust you’re being careful. With that said, do you like that cross-dresser? Kili, right?”

“I’m in love with someone else,” Ori said. “But Kili is my friend. Probably my best friend, if I’m being honest…” Nori stopped, placing his hand on Ori’s shoulder.

“I won’t tell anyone. I swear. I won’t tell Dori. I won’t lie, Ori, I don’t understand, but you and Dori are all I got. I’m not selling you out. Okay?”

Ori turned around, crossing his arms. “How do I know I can trust you? And don’t say it’s because we’re family. Many of the people in there…well, you can easily learn the value of _family_ from them. Nori, you’re a drunk and a gambler. I’m…”

He huffed, staring at his feet. Nori embraced him. “A secret for a secret,” he said. “Would that be fair?”

Ori nodded and Nori released him, leading him deeper into the East End. Ori stuffed his hands into his pockets and followed, eyes on Nori’s back. He stopped, hiding in an alley. Within a house across the street was a woman and three children.

“I don’t know her name, just that she’s a, well, lady of the night, to put it mildly.” Ori stared at him. “The youngest kid, there, that’s mine.” It was a little girl with the reddest mane of hair Ori had seen. “That’s all I know. The woman came to me a couple years ago and told me she was pregnant with my child. To be honest, I wasn’t sure she was telling the truth, but with Dori and all…to add, I was drunk. I didn’t want to believe her at first.”

“Why steal from the company then?”

“I am still gambling, but I’m better at it than you think. The money goes to them.”

Ori shook his head. “That doesn’t make it better, Nori.”

“If I could, I’d claim the kid, but you _know_ that I can’t! Not without risking our reputation.”

“What reputation? You’re already flushing it down the drain. You really think claiming a bastard child as your own is going to make it any worse than it already is?”

“And being queer won’t?” Nori asked.

Ori sighed. “Do you know your daughter’s name, at least?”

“Sylvia,” Nori said, leaning against the wall. “Her name is Sylvia and she definitely deserves a better father.” Well, Ori wasn’t going to deny _that_. “Most I can do is act as a benefactor for her and her brothers. They don’t have to work in order to help their Mum keep food on the table or clothes on their backs.”

“How do you explain the debtors, then?!”

“I still lose every so often and debts just come. I can’t help that.”

“You _can_. Just stop gambling and help Dori with the company. See, the difference between me and you is that I can’t really help who I am, but your afflictions, Nori, you _can_ change. I can’t and honestly, I don’t know if I want to. What I’ve seen since starting to work for Bilbo and Thorin, tutoring Kili…going to Bag End, I’ve learned that most heterosexual relationships are _so_ damaging. More damaging than the ones I’ve seen there. Have you thought on that?”

“You think you’re better than me because I’m not like you?”

“No, that’s not it.” He was better than Nori because he was actually fucking responsible! “But at the same time, at least I don’t have to worry about unexpected and unwanted pregnancies.”

Nori nodded. “That is an advantage, but perhaps the only one…you all sort of got quiet when the Met was mentioned. Is that…”

“Let’s go home,” Ori said. “I’ll explain on the way.”

So he did. He made it clear he had no personal experience with the harassment others had suffered at the police’s hands, but he was sure it’d happen one day, though he couldn’t really say when. He briefly mentioned Kili’s encounter—and perhaps that was going too far. It was still a sensitive subject for her and certainly not his place to speak of to anyone.

Least of all his brother.

Still, Kili’s experience was the only story he knew for sure.

“So that thing about men who wear dresses just out to trap others…”

“I don’t know the entirety of it, but in Kili’s case, that is _not_ true. Nor is it Bilbo’s. She’s, well…it’s not quite marriage, but in a way, it is. Bilbo is Kili’s uncle’s spouse. They’ve been together for a rather long time and took Kili in when her family disowned her.”

“I see.”

“So…with that in mind…”

“As I said, a secret for a secret. We’re even now, okay?”

Ori nodded. “Fine. But I still think you should stop gambling and get a proper job. You owe Dori, at least.”

“I’ll think about it,” Nori said, sighing.

“Do you want to claim Sylvia as yours?”

Nori stared at him. “I would like to,” he said. “But would Dori…”

“Like I said, our reputation is moot, even if Dori is still trying to keep it afloat. I wouldn’t mind it and Dori likes children. I think I’d rather have a niece or nephew around for him to dote on. His mother-henning is getting to the point where I just want to bash my head in. Does that make sense?”

Nori nodded. “More than you know. But this is between us. If we decide to tell Dori…”

“No, I agree. I don’t think he’s ready for…you know. He might never be. I mean, he’d probably be okay with yours than he’d be with mine.”

“You might be surprised,” Nori said.

“So you really don’t mind that I’m queer?”

“No, I don’t mind at all. I don’t understand, but not understanding is different from not minding. Trust me, if I minded, you’d know.” Ori could believe that. To add, it felt easier to breathe, knowing that Nori knew. He wasn’t _happy_ about it, but if this was…it wasn’t the same as others, who had some terrible horror stories about coming out, but some, it seemed, were good.

This was a good start, even if it wasn’t all that ideal.

#

Ori decided then and there that he much preferred his brown slacks and shirt and worn out jacket as opposed to this frippery, no matter how much Dori gushed over how genteel he looked. Ori felt ridiculous. Nori had offered to drive, to Dori’s surprise and Ori’s immense relief.

He turned him down, telling him they’d be taking one of Thorin’s personal carriages, with a promise to explain more later, but for now left it at this:

 _Her uncle is the lord of Erebor Manor_.

It was true, even if they never left Bag End, Thorin was, in fact, still the Lord of that Manor and was a banker. It would be easy to find a supportive if not likeminded carriage driver who wouldn’t betray them to the met.

He stood outside the carriage waiting for Kili to come outside. Just as he was going to go inside and see what was taking her so long, she stepped out.

“Bilbo, I’ve got it!” she snapped, lifting the skirt just barely off the ground to allow her enough space for walking without ripping or tripping on the hem.

“Just trying to help,” Bilbo said with a pout.

The dress was dark blue silk and black velvet. It bustled in the back and there was black lace sewn into the blue silk bunching over Kili’s chest, creating an illusion of breasts. Her black hair was pulled out of her face and curled into tight ringlets, held back in a clip resembling a hat with matching blue ribbons framing against the curls. Her hands were donned in black gloves and the collar was decorated with a silver and sapphire brooch.

* * *

 

Kili's dress is based off of this dress. Image not mine

* * *

 

“I know, auntie, but we’re going to be late.”

“Oh, fine. Fine! Go have fun.”

The door closed and Kili turned to him, beaming. “Sorry about that,” she said. Ori shrugged and opened the door for her. Kili approached the carriage and let him help her inside. Ori climbed in beside her and closed the door.

“You look beautiful.”

Kili blushed. “Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself.”

“I feel ridiculous. I quite prefer my usual trousers to these stiff things.”

“I doubt they’re stiff. You don’t know _stiff_ till you’ve tried wearing a corset.”

“I think I’ll pass. I’ve heard Bilbo complain about them more than enough times.”

“Ah, yes. Bilbo would complain. He always hated them. That’s why we’re only open a few hours at night. He doesn’t know how I manage it.”

Ori shrugged. “I’ll just trust your word about it. You’ve mastered corsets, at least.”

“Mm-hm,” Kili said. The further away from Bag End they got, the quieter she became. Ori took her hands in his.

“Kili, it’ll be okay. I don’t think anyone’s going to be able to tell the difference between you and other women who’ll be there tonight.” Kili nodded, taking a deep breath. The carriage stopped and they stepped outside and gazed up at a theater resembling the coliseum. Ori offered his arm to Kili, who took it and they strode toward the box office.

The opera was about to begin.


	7. Chapter 7

They had seats near an exit. Good, Ori figured a quick escape would be in order if anyone called him and Kili out.

The lights dimmed as a man stepped on stage, welcoming them to the opera and reminding them where the exits are, and asking us to not heckle the performers. This got a few chuckles out of the audience before he disappeared back stage. The curtains rose and the chorus burst into song…

At the second intermission, Kili and Ori took to walking around in hopes of stretching our legs.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Ori asked.

Kili nodded, hand on her stomach. “I feel a little faint, though,” she admitted. He helped her to a chair near an open window.

“It’s warm inside, isn’t it?”

“A bit.”

“I’ll be back with a glass of water. Try not to faint on me.” She nodded, waving her fan and Ori headed to a cart, asking for a glass of water from the man up front. The man gave him a funny look till he admitted that Kili was feeling a little ill.

Ori returned to Kili, who had turned her face away toward the window as a man tried to get her attention. Ori cleared my throat, glaring at him.

“She yours? Sorry, mate. Enjoy the rest of the show, luv.”

Once he was gone, Ori handed Kili her drink. “Are you okay?”

Kili nodded. “He didn’t seem to notice I was…”

“You weren’t exactly trying to draw attention to yourself. Drink up. You look pale.”

“Yeah…I may have worn this damn thing a little too long.”

“That’s a bad thing?”

“Women faint so much because our airway is often cut off by men’s unrealistic beauty standards,” Kili groused. Ori bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

“Would you rather go home? We don’t have to stay for the whole performance if you don’t want to.”

“And disappoint my uncles? I don’t think so. Unless we get called out, I can do this. Just need to breathe fresh air.” Ori didn’t think they were bound to find any fresh air in London, but he kept that quiet. She finished her water and they went back inside. Kili sat straight, a hand on her stomach, as the final act began with the chorus’ reappearance.

Ori took her other hand and squeezed it. _Don’t pass out_ , he thought. _I don’t think I could carry you to the carriage. Don’t pass out._

At last, the opera ended and he offered his arm to Kili, leading her back to the carriage. Once inside, she covered the windows. “Help me with this.”

“What?”

“I need my corset loosened just a touch. It isn’t ideal, but it will do. Please?”

Ori groaned and blushed, but he obeyed, unbuttoning the back till he could get at the strings and loosen them. “You owe me.”

“I do. Drinks on the house when we get home. Button me up. Quickly.”

“For a lady, this is _not_ …”

“Well, I trust you and I still feel ill. Besides, Bilbo helps me all the time and before I was around to help her with her corset, Thorin helped.”

“Yes, but I feel it was more an erotic thing for them than it is for us.”

Kili paused. “True.”

“There.” Ori said as the last button was put back in place. He leaned forward, groaning. “We _never_ speak of this. Anyone finds out I touched your corset…”

“You had permission. It could be worse.”

“It’s still not appropriate. God in heaven, I feel dirty.”

“Again, I’m compensating you with liquor. No one needs to know.”

“I hate you, Kili,” Ori moaned.

“It was a desperate situation. I can breathe again and I feel better. Or would you rather I pass out before the night ends? I personally would not prefer that. Now stop blushing! Goodness, you’re a grown man, Ori! At least act it.”

Ori glared at her. That was not fair and Kili knew it. She patted his shoulder and leaned back, stretching as far as her arms would allow. “I’m glad to know my embarrassment has put you in a good mood.”

“It’s not that,” Kili said. “The ability to breathe without feeling like I’m about to pass out the next moment has put me in a good mood.”

“Maybe something should be done about corsets, then.”

“That sounds like a brilliant idea!”

“Kili, can we not talk about your corset? Or anyone’s corset? It might help me save face by the time we get to the restaurant.”

“All right. Ori,” she took his hand. “I’m sorry it was that uncomfortable for you, but you did help me, too, so thank you.”

Ori sighed. “All right…you’re forgiven. And you’re welcome. But never have me do that again!”

“Agreed,” Kili said, kissing his cheek.

At last, he managed to put his blush under control and they arrived at the restaurant. They managed to get a secluded table in the back where they were least likely to be disturbed by any save their waiter.

“So, has Dwalin approached you yet?”

Ori blinked. “I don’t expect him to and honestly, I’m not sure how I feel for him is healthy.”

“Pah! Every relationship is considered a little unhealthy in some way.”

“When you’ve fancied someone for years without them knowing, I think that constitutes as unhealthy.”

“Aye, but if they start noticing you and fancy you back, you have the opportunity to see if it _can_ be healthy, don’t you think?” She leaned forward. “He is quite taken with you,” she whispered. “And he might approach you sooner or later. Keep that in mind.”

“ _Kili_ …”

“I don’t see the problem with it.”

“Well, for one, I took you to the opera, not Dwalin.”

“Yes. But we’re just friends.”

“Does he know that?” Ori asked. “He sort of likes to glare at me.”

“Yes, well, I never said he was _smart_ ,” Kili said, lifting her wine glass and sipping the liquid within. “I mean, he’s smart as in he is educated, but if he hasn’t noticed that you make moon eyes at him as much as much as he does at you…”

The waiter returned and Kili silenced, staring at her menu as a little of the color that had left her cheeks vanished. Once they had ordered, the waiter left and she released the breath she’d been holding.

“Are you all right?” Ori asked. “You’re not bothered by being here, are you?”

“More I am hoping no one notices that I’m a bit different from most of the women here,” Kili admitted, “But I’m fine. I promise. Anyway, maybe you should try talking to him about it.”

Ori’s eyes widened. Talk to Dwalin about how he _felt_ for him? The idea made his stomach lurch and he shook his head.

“Oh come on, Ori! I’m sure he’d be open to hearing you out. What’s the worst that could happen?”

What’s the worst indeed…It wasn’t rejection, as far as Ori was concerned, but Dwalin learning that Ori lusted after him since his private school days, or finding the drawings—some of which Ori wanted to keep buried deep away from other’s eyes.

“Ori,” Kili said, reaching out to him and touching his hand with her gloved one. “It isn’t the end of the world. I promise he fancies you and you haven’t done anything wrong. Love always begins as lust. You’ve not done anything wrong and you shouldn’t feel like you have.”

“Is this your experience talking?”

“More it’s me capping off Bilbo’s and Thorin’s advice to me as I grew up. Some of it quite recent, I’ll have you know!”

Ori hummed. “How long have your aunt and uncle been together?”

“Since their private school days,” Kili said. “They’re old. Not that Bilbo would appreciate me saying that.”

“I’ll stay mum about the old part,” Ori promised. “But really, I am interested in their story.”

“Well…they were roommates at Harrow,” Kili said. “And they didn’t really like each other that much at first, but then I think Thorin caught Bilbo in a dress…most would use that at blackmail material, but Bilbo’s always been rather tough so I think instead they started courting outside of school…honestly, I’m not the one to ask. All I know is it was a rocky relationship until long after their college days when Thorin asked Bilbo to marry him.”

The waiter returned with their food. After he left, Kili stabbed her chicken with a fork. “Still, it’s an interesting relationship.”

Kili shrugged. “Perhaps, but they’re married. That takes work regardless. But they manage it and they’re more my parents than my own mother and father ever were. If I could get away with it, I would call them my parents…does that make sense?”

“It does.” Ori wanted to ask about her parents, but decided against it. “Oh! I meant to hand it to you before we left, but I _finally_ remembered to bring your book back…”

“You can give it to me when we get back to Bag End,” Kili said.

#

Bilbo stepped into the station, head high and back straight. Getting a call from the Met was never a good thing and through his walk, he expected to be interrogated once he got there. He doubted he would, but one could never be careful.

“Professor Baggins?”

He turned to the constable, hoping he looked calmer than he felt. “Yes?”

“Could you come with me for a moment?”

“I could, but I would like to know exactly what it is that I am being called in for.”

The constable sighed. “There was a boating accident earlier today. You’re listed as the next of kin to one Drogo and Primula Baggins, yes?”

“I am, yes,” Bilbo said. “That doesn’t exactly tell me much about what is going on.” He followed the constable to a desk where a boy sat, motionless, staring at his hands. Bilbo’s shoulders dropped. “Frodo?” the boy looked up. His eyes and cheeks were red.

“They’re will requests that you take in their son if anything happened to them.”

“Then that is what will happen,” Bilbo said. “Or am I not allowed that much?”

“You are, but we need him available for questioning.”

“For what purpose? He’s a child!”

“There is also contest toward whether or not you’d be a suitable guardian. A Missus Sackville-Baggins has accused you of buggery, Sir.”

“She would,” Bilbo growled. _Damn her._ He took a deep breath. “On what basis?”

“Have you not a nephew with a prior record? He was caught outside in lady’s wear.”

“That is _her_ decision to make. And the met had no right to imprison Kili like that.”

“I want to go with him,” Frodo said. “Mrs. Sackville-Baggins is cruel and my parents did say they want me to stay with Professor Baggins, right? So at the very least, honor that. Please.”

The constable frowned, assessing. Bilbo tried not to pay attention to the other eyes on them. “Very well. Keep him ready for questioning and we will send someone to assess whether or not you are a suitable guardian for Frodo.”

Bilbo ground his teeth and took Frodo’s hand. “I look forward to it.”

He left with Frodo. He’d have to talk to Thorin about this when he returned to Bag End. And then there was the matter of Lobelia to deal with. How could she know about him and Thorin? Or even know about Bag End? He’d have to announce that Bag End would be closed for the time being. They’d have to scatter. They’d…

“Uncle Bilbo?” He looked at Frodo. Frodo took a deep breath. “Everything’s going to be okay. Right?”

He honestly didn’t know. But he lifted Frodo up onto his hip and returned to the coach. “By my life,” he said. “I will make sure it will be.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Come on,” Kili said, leading him into Bag End. “I promised you a drink on the house. I think I can get Bilbo’s favorite whiskey if we’re sneaky enough.”

“I don’t care if it’s _Thorin’s whiskey_ , I just want a drink,” Ori said. Kili opened the door. “And some ice for my hand.”

“Why do you need ice?” Thorin asked from the counter.

“Ori punched someone,” Kili said, removing her gloves.

“He grabbed your arm and was about to call for the Met!”

“I think he’s still out cold.”

“That’d be funny,” Ori snorted.

“Where’s Bilbo’s whiskey?”

“In the stock room, but _he_ still has the key,” Thorin said. Kili rolled her eyes and strode to the stockroom. Thorin and Dwalin looked at Ori. “How was the Opera?”

“How were you able to punch someone so hard you knocked them out?” Dwalin asked.

Ori glared at Dwalin. “I’m not that scrawny,” he snapped. “I’m strong enough to break a nose if I need to. I’ve two older brothers. You really think I don’t know how to fight?”

“That's not what I meant,” Dwalin said. “I’m impressed. I never took you for the punchin’ type.”

“How about the opera?”

“Opera was fine. Dinner was fine, until some guy tried to follow us, trying to get Kili’s attention. Bastard was drunk, I think. He grabbed her, I punched him. It was a rather eventful evening.”

“I bring you perfectly aged whiskey from 1857,” Kili announced, setting the bottle on the table.”

“Bilbo is going to kill me,” Thorin whispered.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Dwalin muttered.

Kili wrinkled her nose. “Can you not? Besides, Uncle, this is the one already opened.”

“Where is Bilbo anyway?” Ori asked.

Thorin grew silent. “Met called him down,” Dwalin said. “We don’t know when he’ll be back. And he _will_ be back.” That last bit was directed at Thorin.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Kili added, handing Ori a glass. “At least where we’re concerned. All they know about our family is me.”

Thorin rubbed her back and poured himself some whiskey. He downed it in one gulp. “Kili, Dwalin, lock up behind me. I’m—”

“I’m home—why is my whiskey out?! _Kili_!”

“Ori earned it,” Kili said, grinning.

“Are you all right?” Thorin asked.

“Yes, I’m fine, love,” Bilbo said. A boy clung to his hand. “But we need to have a family meeting. Dwalin that includes you. Ori as well.”

“Kind of defeats the purpose of a ‘family meeting’ if it’s not just family,” Dwalin said.

“Store meeting, then,” Bilbo said. Can we go to the drawing room? Kili, bring the whiskey.” They followed Bilbo to the drawing room in the back. Once everyone had a glass—except the child since he would be going to bed as soon as they were done—Bilbo inhaled.

“Ori, Dwalin, this is Frodo Baggins, my cousins’ son. They recently died in a boating accident and the Met is investigating their death. They’re also going to investigate whether or not I’d be a suitable guardian.”

“Why?” Thorin asked. “They know that you and I—”

“Lobelia accused me of buggery in an attempt at keeping Frodo away from us. You’re the one with the power over them. Not me, Thorin,” Bilbo said. “I don’t think the constable I talked to knew that. Do you know if there’s been any change in power there? A new commissioner? New inspectors?”

“The new constables are just new constables. As far as I know, Dain is still the commissioner. But I’ll check in with him in the morning. He’ll nullify Lobelia’s accusation. So Bilbo, we’re not closing Bag End just yet. There’s no need to panic yet.”

Bilbo bit his lip and nodded. Thorin kissed his forehead. Ori averted his gaze. Not for shame, but to hide his blush. There was something about it that was both sweet and intimate and he felt as though he intruded on something private.

“So you think we’ll have to close Bag End?” Dwalin asked.

“If the Met are investigating, then yes,” Bilbo said. “And we’ll have to tell our regulars to spread the word through mouth. I know this isn’t ideal for you, Dwalin.”

“I’ll figure something out.”

Ori’s gut clenched. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “My brothers—”

“If you think we didn’t know what was going on, then you’re not as smart as you think. We know your family has financial issues and that that middle brother isn’t helping,” Dwalin said. Ori jumped. He knew? He actually knew?!

“I can’t help but still feel responsible for that, though.”

“You’re not the one who fired me. I won’t say I’m not pissed as hell, but I don’t blame you for what happened. Nor do I blame Dori. I blame Nori. Meeting your brother and holding back, believe me, that was harder than you think.”

Ori chuckled. “Honestly, I would have let you beat him. He’s…he’s a piece of work and I don’t understand him or how his mind works.”

Bilbo cleared his throat. “Thank you. Frodo, it’s time for bed.”

“But—”

“Nope, none of that. Come on.” He stood and led Frodo out of the room. Thorin looked at Kili.

“Kili, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. I will talk to Dain, but if it comes to it, you and I will be heading to Erebor.” Kili nodded. Thorin turned to Dwalin. “Dwalin, I want you to come with us.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not losing your job here if we have to close shop. You’re my best mate. I trust you, and Ori, with my niece. Ori can’t come, unfortunately, but you can and I won’t be able to stay. I need to be with Bilbo, but I will get you both there safely.”

“Bartender and a bodyguard,” Dwalin muttered. “Far cry from what I used to do.”

“Aye, but at least you don’t smell life fish anymore.”

Dwalin shrugged. Kili stood. “I’m going to bed, too. Not that I think I’ll be able to sleep.” She kissed Thorin’s cheek and left, gown sweeping against the floor. Thorin looked at Ori, who cleared his throat.

“What would you like me to do?” he asked.

“Help Bilbo while I’m out of town. It shouldn’t be more than three days before I come back,” he said. “Other than that, do what you always do when you’re not here.”

Ori nodded and left.

“How was the opera?” Dori asked when he came home.

“It was fun,” he said. And it was. The opera was fun. “It was a very eventful evening.”

#

It was nine o’clock in the morning when Thorin finally had audience with Dain.

“Sorry for the wait,” Dain said, sitting across from him. A maid brought a tea tray in. “I didn’t expect you to come by at all.”

“Bilbo is under investigation by the Metropolitan Police.” Dain’s cheery smile vanished. “We had an agreement, Dain.”

“And it still stands. I would never out you and Bilbo. Nor would I do that to Bag End. But I’m afraid I can’t do anything about this. I’ve been, uh, retired.”

“We’re the same age.”

“And there are a number of people who think I’ve gone soft on buggery, Thorin. They want someone who will be harder on it. The new commissioner is…he’ll tear you down if you dare to approach him on the subject. If Bilbo is under investigation, there isn’t anything I can do. I’m sorry.”

“Who is it?”

“His name is Azog Gundebad. Don’t let the foreign name fool you, his parents are immigrants but he is not. He is a born Londoner, even if he’s not a bred one. He served in the Queen’s army, worked his way up the force. He was a brilliant inspector and he is set in his belief that buggery is not a tolerable crime.”

Thorin leaned forward. “He targeted the love of my life, Dain.”

“He hasn’t targeted anyone. He has no reason to hunt Bilbo or you. Your husband’s cousin targeted you, not him. But if you go to him, he will go after you. I can’t protect you, Bilbo, Kili, or Bag End anymore. I’m sorry. Truly, I am. But there is nothing I can do. Your best hope is to get Kili out of London and keep her out. After that, it would be closing Bag End. He’s already targeting brothels and clubs.”

Thorin shook his head. “Bag End isn’t a brothel. Nor a club.”

“I know.”

“It’s a place for lovers to meet without fear of being outed or hunted. Bag End has always been safe—”

“I _know_ , Thorin.”

“—Even before this _Gundebad_ took your place!”

“Thorin! I _know_. I know. Erebor is the same. I know the pub Bilbo’s pride and joy, but there’s no other option that I can see. Kili is already in the open and listed as his nephew.”

“Kili should have had that erased. I asked you to erase her record.”

“I can’t keep the men who work there quiet. Kili’s a good girl. She is strong and I know you are proud of her. I am too. But please, this is what you will have to do to keep your family safe. Close Bag End, get Kili out of London. If Erebor is targeted, I am afraid that you won’t be able to fight back.”

Thorin’s lip curled in a snarl. “I’ve been fighting everyone who judged me for loving Bilbo and staying by his side for twenty years. I will die fighting for him. I’m certain of that. And I am not bothered by that a bit. If the Met goes after my husband, it’ll be the last thing they do.”

He stood.

“Thorin, for what it’s worth, I will fight with you. But you have to be smart about it. You can’t just rush in blindly. Gundebad acts like this is a mission from God. Be tactical about how you approach his assault. Right now, he’s not done anything to you. It’s just until he gets his eyes off Bilbo.”

Thorin nodded. “Fine. I’ll be careful.”

#

“I don’t think I’ll need all of this, Bilbo,” Kili said, as Bilbo shoved more dresses and petticoats into the trunk. Bilbo chuckled.

“Yes, well, I won’t be able to wear these for a while, I think. Figured if anyone can keep them safe it’s you.”

“Of course,” Kili said. “It’ll be okay.”

Bilbo looked at her, silent. “Of course it’ll be okay,” he said.

“You’re not convinced?”

Bilbo glanced at the door as though expecting someone to come bursting through to arrest them. He swallowed. “No, I’m not. I’m terrified, Kili. I’m bloody scared. Lobelia should not have known. I never told her. My parents would not tell anyone in our family. Drogo and Prim were the only ones I trusted after my parents died. They wouldn’t have told anyone about me and Thorin. Now they’re dead and we have Frodo to care for. I really hope Lobelia’s just fucking around to try and discredit me, but damn it…” he sniffed, covering his eyes with his hand.

Kili embraced him. “I love you, Uncle,” she said. Bilbo gasped, hiding his face in her shoulder.

“Kili!” Thorin called, coming upstairs. He knocked before entering. Kili let go and let Thorin take over, dragging the trunk out of the room and down the stairs.

Ori stepped in. “Thought you could use some help,” he said.

“I could. Thank you.”

He grabbed the other end of the trunk and they carried it outside. “How are you?” he asked.

“I think we’re just holding together right now,” she said. “Frodo’s not left his room since he went to bed. Not that I blame him. I think the whole thing scares him as much as it does Bilbo. Honestly, I don’t think Thorin should come with me and Dwalin. Bilbo needs him more than I do.”

“Yeah,” Ori said. “I wouldn’t mind going with you guys either if you’re okay with it.”

“I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked, bopping his shoulder. “You’re my best friend. Besides, this would get you close to Dwalin, wouldn’t it?”

Ori blushed. “Can you not?”

“You and Dwalin are enough for me. I don’t need my uncle to chaperone me when I have two strong lads I trust already. Now come on. There’s only so much daylight left.”


	9. Chapter 9

It wasn’t that hard to convince Thorin and Ori sent a telegram to his brothers, telling them that he’d be out of town for a few days with some friends and that he’d write them when he got to his destination.

It did mean stopping at home and quickly packing some things before heading out with Kili and Dwalin.

Most of the time, Dwalin slept.

At least it seemed like he was sleeping.

Ori and Kili took turns reading _Frankenstein_ aloud.

Once that had been done, they discussed it a bit before they could stop and grab a new book from the luggage. Dwalin found it rather annoying and snapped that he didn’t understand how they could read when the road was so rocky.

“Practice,” Ori had said.

Dwalin stared at him. “What if you get sick?”

Ori shrugged. “Never did before.”

Dwalin glared at him. “Never?”

“Nope.”

“Not even once?”

“No. Dori did say he doesn’t understand how I don’t get motion sickness either. I suppose I’m just…unique that way.”

Dwalin rolled his eyes and went inside to grab them something to eat. Kili leaned against the carriage, holding her stomach in her hand.

“Corset?” Ori asked. She nodded. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault these things are damnably tight,” she said, standing straight and rolling her shoulders back. “Have you been to the country?”

“Not really, no. My family does have an estate in Manchester, however. We go there every summer.”

Kili hummed. “I’ve been to Erebor a couple times before. The last time was after I was arrested. Thorin and Bilbo took me there to help me overcome the trauma of the ordeal. I almost kicked up a fuss when it was time to go back. It was freeing and I wasn’t scared of being seen in public by others since most of them understood there.”

Ori hummed. He couldn’t imagine such a place where one didn’t have to hide who they were. Bag End seemed to be the closest to being free he had found.

To be somewhere like _that…_

It seemed Bilbo and Thorin’s sole quest was to make it easier to be themselves, offer no judgement, no discrimination, and no confines.

Somehow he doubted Erebor had always been like that. Somehow he felt that this supposed haven had only been such since Thorin became its master.

He didn’t ask Kili more about it, deciding to see for himself.

#

Waddesdon Manor

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waddesdon_Manor

Inspiration for Erebor Manor

* * *

 

Erebor was a rather large manor that almost reminded Ori of the Rococo period from its architectural design. The building itself was stone with black shingles making up the towered roofs.

Ori swallowed. His family home in Manchester wasn’t even this grand!

Kili nudged him with her elbow. “Wait till you see the library.”

“There’s a library?!”

Kili grinned. “There is.” She peered out of the window and sighed. “I had almost forgotten how great it looked.”

“Not to mention you’re going to inherit it,” Ori pointed out.”

Kili nodded. “I look forward to that day. I’d probably never leave here—who is…oh no.”

Her smile died and she paled. Dwalin looked out the window. “Is that who I think it is?”

“It is,” she said. The coach stopped and Dwalin stepped out.

“Stay inside,” he ordered, closing it.

Ori peered out and spotted the blond man Dwalin was approaching. “Who is that?”

“My…my brother.”

“You have a brother?”

“Who do you think told my parents I was…different?”

Ori’s heart ached.

When Nori found out, he swore secrecy. Maybe that was just a little bit of familial loyalty that he had left in him. Ori didn’t know, but so far…

“What’s his name?”

“Filip,” Kili said. She swallowed. “Mine was Kilian, but I told him I preferred Kiliana. I know, most who are like me chose not to keep their original name, but I didn’t really have any reservations against it and it _is_ a gender-neutral name, though it is preferred for boys…”

Ori squeezed her hand. “It’ll be all right,” he said, peering out again.

Dwalin was coming back.

“Kili, Fili wants to talk.”

Kili’s eyes widened.

Dwalin sighed. “I’ll be right here. If he tries anything, Ori and I will take care of it.”

She bit her lip and Ori squeezed her shoulder.

“It’ll be okay,” he promised. He couldn’t really guarantee it, but he’d do his best to ensure it and if nothing else…

Well, they’d deal with what happened when or if it happened.

Kili swallowed and stepped outside, Ori behind her.

She stood straight, her navy dress swept the ground and she held her head high. In that moment, Ori could see the similarities between her and Thorin. Her eyes were steel and her mouth set in a frown. Her parasol rested in crook of her arm.

Her brother approached. “Kili,” he said. “My God, you look…you look well.”

“What are you doing here?” she demanded. “Erebor is still our uncle’s—”

“I’m not here to undermine anyone’s authority. I came down with a few friends. They’re back in Dale and I heard something about a Durin woman coming down, so I figured it might be you or Bilbo, so I came down. My friends don’t know I’m here. Kili, can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You have _nothing_ to say to me that I’ve not already heard before,” Kili said. “What you did to me—they were going to send me to _Bedlam_ , Fili!”

“I didn’t know that Mother and Father would do that. I was a stupid kid, Ki. You’re my bro—”

Ori cleared his throat loudly, fixing Fili with a warning glare.

“You were about to say ‘brother’ weren’t you?” Kili accused. She sighed. “Of course you were. I’m your _sister_ and if you want to talk to me, you should remember that.”

Fili opened his mouth then changed his mind. “Sister, then,” he said. “You didn’t have to run away. We could have figured something out.”

“Right. Sending me to Bedlam or some other madhouse…have them torture me…you _don’t_ know what those places are like, Fili! You think what they do is helping people? They’d have tortured _me_! Remember that Uncle Thorin has a limp? Where do you think he got that?!”

She was shaking, so Ori took her shoulders, steadying her as he feared she might pass out. “That’s enough,” he said. Fili glared at him. “I think you should leave.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m her tutor,” Ori snapped back. “And you’re upsetting her.”

Fili stared him down.

Ori wasn’t much of a fighter, though he knew how to defend himself in hand to hand combat. During private school, it was his best defense against the bigger kids that tended to gang up on him, so he studied boxing for a bit, just enough to get them off his back, and maybe someone else’s, but bravery and tenacity wasn’t really something he held in abundance. He wasn’t very strong and most of his time was spent either writing or drawing.

Fili was definitely stronger.

From the way he held himself, he probably had studied fencing and dueling. He was handsome, but there was a bit of haughtiness behind it. It irked Ori, but he doubted he’d need to use any physical strength to get Fili to leave Kili alone.

Dwalin was burlier than the two of them combined.

Fili glanced at Dwalin and sighed. “Kili, for what it’s worth, I am sorry about what happened and I do miss you. Mother does, too. She keeps writing—”

“I never got any letters from her since I started living with Thorin.”

“Not one?”

“Would it matter if she did?” Kili snapped. “I want _nothing_ to do with any of you!”

Fili looked genuinely hurt. “All right,” he said. “But we do love you, Kili, even if you don’t believe us. At least…” he bit his lip. “At least see Father? He’s dying, Kili, and he wants to see you again, even if it’s like…this. Think about it, okay?” He inhaled. “I’ll go.”

And he did, approaching his own carriage and they watched him leave.

Once he was gone, Kili clapped her hand over her mouth as if hoping to muffle the sob. Ori embraced her and for a moment, he spotted Dwalin, glaring at him.

He must be in love with Kili.

She was wrong. It wasn’t him he loved. It had to be her. It hurt to think about, but maybe he should talk to Dwalin about it. Later today, he decided, after dinner and after Kili went to bed, they’d talk.

It hurt him to think of Dwalin being with someone else, even if it was Kili, but Ori could do it. He never had Dwalin to begin with. He could let him go if it meant he could be with someone he did want.

Right?

It wouldn’t be easy, he knew that…but he could do it.

There was one time he saw Dori drunk because of a broken heart.

_“Why didn’t you go after her?”_

_Dori laughed dryly. “She didn’t love me, and I didn’t want her to feel burdened. And so I did what Mother taught us to: if you love someone, let her go. If she comes back, she’s yours. If not, she was never yours to begin with._ ”

Well, Dwalin had never been his anyway.

It was time to let go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment of truth has arrived!

Ori supposed it could be worse. Kili's attitude since her brother left had been rather morose. He supposed it had to do with the news of her father's failing health. He didn't blame her. How could he? He still remembered how it felt loosing his mother, even if it was years ago.

For now she slept soundly upstairs, leaving Ori alone with Dwalin. He kept staring at him, unsure what to do or even what he would say to him about Kili.

"If you have something to say, say it and be done."

Ori gaped at Dwalin. "What?"

"You've been staring. I would rather you not."

Ori looked down and chewed his lower lip. "I..." He looked up and met Dwalin's gaze. "If you're in love with Kill, you should tell her." Dwalin's eyebrows rose. "It isn't fair to her. I know you think I am in love with her, but I'm not. Nor am I trying to lead her on. Dwalin, she will-"

"Where did you get the idea that I love Kili?"

"Well you don't really look at me as if you like me, especially when I'm with Kili."

"I'm not in love with Kili."

"Then why do you hate me?" Ori asked, feeling quite incensed. "Have I offended you somehow?" Dwalin stood and approached Ori. Ori stood his ground and met Dwalin's glare with one of his own. "If I've offended you I deserve to know, don't you think?"

Dwalin seized his face. In that moment, Ori thought he was about to have his neck broken. But then he had lips against his own and a beard scratching his skin. Dwalin pushed him against the wall, sliding his tongue into Ori's mouth. Ori seized the lapels of Dwalin's jacket, feeling lightheaded and fearing his knees would give out from under him.

"You are mad if you think I have feelings for my best mate's niece."

Ori swallowed, confused. "But you...you never..."

"Ori, I thought you were frightened of me. You ran off the day you first came to Bag End. And after that, you got close to Kili. I thought you were in love with her."

Ori's hands slackened. "I...Oh..." He remembered that. Licking his lips, Ori inhaled. "I left because I recognized you from the times I was at the pier. I knew there had been lay offs earlier that week. Seeing you there, I thought you might recognize me and threaten to reveal me or blackmail me or...well, I know now that it was foolish. At the time, I wasn't sure what to expect."

Dwalin pressed his forehead to Ori's. "I was never jealous of you. Ori, I was jealous of Kili. You and she are close enough that I assumed that you were in denial of how you felt for her. And maybe the same for her."

Ori shook his head. "We're friends. Nothing more. Kili is...to be honest, I don't think she needs a lover. She needs a friend. Someone who she doesn't have to feel that she needs to impress or prove herself to. And, really, Dwalin, I...I have always fancied you."

No need to tell him for how long. Ori had more sense than that. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest, confessing to Dwalin how he felt. Now he waited. He had a good feeling that Dwalin felt the same way, if the kiss was anything to go by.

"You do?" Ori nodded. Dwalin caressed his cheek and Ori bit his lip. Dwalin pressed his mouth to Ori's...

"Ori? Dwalin?" The broke apart as Kili appeared in the foyer. She narrowed her eyes. "Are you two...did you two finally-"

"Can you not?" Ori asked.

Kili smirked. "I told you so."

"Yes you did." Ori seized her shoulders and pushed her out of the room.

"Did you kiss?"

"You're being immature."

"Maturity is overrated."

"Your uncles would weep if they were here. Go to bed."

"Behave yourself."

"I am not the one commenting on my friend's lovelife which could be going somewhere if you behaved!"

"Fine. I'll leave you and Dwalin be."

"Thank you."

"Just try to be quiet. I don't want to yell at you for bring too loud."

"KILI!!!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bagginshield smut at the very beginning. Skip to # if you don't want to read it.

Bilbo’s back arched as pleasure coursed through him. His fingers dug into the sheets and his toes curled as Thorin hummed around his cock, one hand gripping the base while the other pushed three fingers into his entrance. He bit his lip and whimpered as Thorin pulled his fingers out and released his cock. He seized Bilbo’s hips and fitting his legs underneath, sliding his cock inside and kissed Bilbo as legs wrapped around his waist. He took one of Bilbo’s hands in his and rocked his hips, searching for an angle that would have Bilbo mad and screaming for him.

Their breath mingled and sweat trickled down Thorin’s neck and back. Bilbo arched again and his seed spilled, covering their abdomen and chest, muscles tightening around Thorin. Thorin kissed him, sliding his tongue into Bilbo’s mouth. Bilbo felt him cum and Thorin’s movements still. He pulled out and rolled onto his back, catching his breath before sitting up on shaking arms and grabbing the damp towel he set on their bedside table, wiping the mess off both of them.

Bilbo sighed and turned onto his side. “I love you,” he said. Thorin pressed their forehead’s together.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, taking Bilbo’s hand in his again and kissing it. “No matter what happens next, I always will.”

Bilbo bit his lip. “Thorin—”

“I know, beloved. I know. I’m scared, too. Right now, I don’t want to think about it. I want to hold you in my arms and perhaps make love to you again.”

Bilbo hummed. “How’s your leg?”

“It’s fine,” Thorin said.

There were times it had cramped up on him in the middle of sex. Tonight, thankfully, was not such a night. Bilbo kissed his chest, arm wrapped around Thorin’s torso and Thorin wrapped an arm around Bilbo’s shoulders, pulling him closer in an attempt to still his fear.

He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost Bilbo, though he was glad that his niece was safe. There was one thing to keep from worrying about. He had to remind himself that it was Lobelia being spiteful, there was no real way that the Met would really be able to know Bilbo was queer.

They took precautions once told the investigation would begin. Bag End had closed; its regulars and employees had stayed away. And tomorrow, he’d go to work. He’d stay there, unsure if he’d be able to work. Bilbo would take Frodo to school and at any moment during the day, the Met would approach him and bring him to the station to be questioned.

“Bilbo.”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

Bilbo opened an eye. “I love you too, but please, love, go to sleep. Worrying about it won’t change anything.” Thorin sighed and settled for holding Bilbo, praying that it wouldn’t be the last time.

#

Erebor, like Bag End, was often described as a safe haven for men and women who were like Kili, Bilbo, and Ori. They worked the grounds and kept the house clean and presentable for Thorin and his family, and in return, they were given asylum there. They were free to be themselves.

It was like heaven. Or it would be if Ori could stay here for the rest of his life.

And Kili had often said she would not mind it. She certainly had no desire to stay in London permanently, but only did so because she helped at Bag End. Likely, the house would go to Frodo and they hadn’t any way of knowing if Frodo would keep it open…

“He might, but it’s too early to tell,” she would say when explaining the situation to the staff.

As for Ori, as soon as he saw the library, he had found a small corner to hide in and only ventured out to get a new book. Thankfully, he remembered to send that letter to his brothers to assure them he was well.

And Dwalin? He’d not seen him much since they spoke. At first, Ori didn’t mind, he was a little busy, but as time went on, he started to wonder.

Where was he? What was he doing?

Well, Ori decided that if Dwalin wasn’t going to see him, he’d just have to go see Dwalin. He made his way to the library’s exit and almost bumped into Kili.

“Sorry,” he said.

“I was about to get you. Lunch is ready.”

“I was going to find Dwalin.”

Kili hummed. “That’s fine. He’ll be there too. It’s a nice day so we’ll be eating on the south patio.”

She linked her arm around Ori’s and dragged him to the patio in question. Dwalin’s back was turned to them, but Ori could tell his arms were crossed. Beside that, he didn’t know. Kili patted his shoulder. “Have fun.”

“What?”

“Oh, this is just for the two of you. I already ate and I have to meet with the butler in a few minutes. Now _go_. Talk. Be social.” She walked away and Ori glared at her back before going outside. It was cool, but not dreadfully so and the weather was surprisingly fine.

Dwalin looked at him and for a moment Ori wondered if he was mad. He hoped it was just the light shining in his eyes making him glare like that. “Where’s Kili?”

“Not joining us,” Ori said, sitting down. “Needed to take care of something. I was about to go find you, though. We hadn’t really…”

“Aye. Eat first.”

He would, but it just…something felt…

It was awkward and Ori felt like worms were churning in his stomach, making eating nearly impossible. “Not that hungry,” he said. “I, um, the library was very distracting.” Dwalin arched a brow. “And I know I probably should have sought you out earlier, but…”

“You and Kili are alike in that way. You both love to read, so I’m not surprised the library caught your eye.”

“It isn’t much of an excuse—”

“Perhaps not. I could’ve gone looking for you myself.”

He winced and covered his eyes, grumbling angrily at the sun. “It’s too bloody bright here.” Ori felt relieved. So it was just the light. “Anyway, there’s been some fighting going about. It happens. So I’ve been doing what I can to help Kili settle whatever disputes are supposedly going on.”

“I didn’t realize.”

“Sometimes and oppressed group will oppress others within the group. It’s a dangerous problem and finding a healthy outlet can be hard if you don’t know where to look. For me, that’s always been fighting.” Ori arched a brow. “What?”

“You mean prize-fighting. Placing bets and beating the shit out of someone for the sake of your ego?”

“Coming from someone who doesn’t look like he could punch a baby,” Dwalin said.

“Please,” Ori said. “I’m smaller than most, sure, but I’m not weak. I know how to defend myself and I was often bullied at school anyway. I had to do _something_ to protect myself. So I studied boxing.”

“Ah.”

“You still don’t believe me.”

“Well, you might be able to hit a drunk bastard, but kid, I’ve been boxing and wrestling since I was eight,” Dwalin smirked. “You’re appetite back?”

“It is,” Ori said.

They began to eat, still discussing whether or not Ori could beat someone sober and it was agreed they’d fight each other after lunch. Ori was certain he’d be beaten, but his honor was on the line. He would prove to Dwalin he could hold his own or die trying.

They left the patio after they had eaten their fill and Dwalin stripped his shirt off. Ori’s mouth went dry. He’d imagined how Dwalin’s chest would look. He imagined it would be strong, that the muscles woud be well defined beneath his skin…that there’d be chest hair covering his pecs and perhaps his abdomen.

Truth be told, his imagination had not been far off.

Dwalin had abs, his chest was covered in black and grey curls. His skin was dusted in freckles and tan. There were a few tattoos covering him, especially a Celtic rune that had been etched into the skin at Dwalin’s left hip. He stretched and the muscles flexed.

Ori swallowed, aroused by the sight and yet embarrassed to show Dwalin his own body. The only think they really had in common was freckles. He was soft around his middle—not fat as some were, but enough to make him a little self-conscious. And he didn’t have pecs.

Not even the semblance of them. The most he was willing to take off was his overcoat and vest, now resting on his chair. He rolled his sleeves up, unable to look at Dwalin without blushing. He sucked in a breath.

 _Focus,_ he urged. He met Dwalin’s gaze and held his fists up beside his head and feet firmly planted on the ground. Dwalin’s biceps flexed as he got into position as well.

Ori made the first move, feinting right and aiming to ram his left fist into Dwalin’s abdomen, Dwalin stepped aside and his fist landed into Ori’s jaw. Ori stumbled back and fell from the force and for a couple seconds he sat there stunned at the force alone. He was out of his mind taking on Dwalin.

He had to be and yet, despite the madness of going up against someone this much stronger than him, he got up and came at him. Dwalin arched brow, impressed. But being impressed did not stop him from aiming another punch at Ori. Ori dodged, trying to find a way to land a blow.

Dwalin’s swings were a little wide, he noticed after dodging and blocking a few punches. He ducked down and slammed his fist into Dwalin’s ribs. Dwalin stumbled, but he did not fall back. Still, Ori used the surprised to his advantage to land a strike to Dwalin’s cheek. Dwalin’s fist collided with Ori’s stomach and Ori went down a second time, throwing up.

“I think that would be enough,” Dwalin said, pulling Ori up to his feet. “You fight well.”

“Didn’t really beat you, though.”

“Didn’t know we were fighting to win,” Dwalin said. “Relax, you’re punches are good enough to bruise.”

“Were you holding back?” Ori asked.

“Nope. Don’t believe it’s good for the ego. I’d rather know my opponent’s strength and they ought to know mine. Simple as that.” Dwalin looked up and asked for ice to be brought. “When you’re guts are feeling better, get something to eat.” He looked at Ori’s cheek. “Yeah, not broken, but definitely going to bruise,” he said. Ori pulled away when he reached for his shirt. “Ori?”

“I’m sure it’s going to bruise there too. What would be point of looking?” He asked, wrapping his arms around his abdomen.

“I would rather make sure.”

“Why would it matter?”

“In case you should see the resident doctor. I did punch you pretty hard.”

“I’ll see him on my own time. You don’t need to—”

“Ori, take off the fucking shirt and let me see if it’s worse than it should be.”

“It’ll probably look worse than it is anyway!” Ori snapped, jumping to his feet. “I’ll be fine, all right?”

Dwalin seized his wrist. “Whatever you don’t want me to see, there’s nothing to be ashamed about,” he said. Ori bit his lip. “Do you still not want me to see?” He blinked, biting his lip. Slowly, he undid the buttons of his shirt and closed his eyes. He hated this. Dwalin’s fingers brushed against his stomach and he flinched from the throb of pain.

“Yeah, looks worse than it probably is, but best go to Oin anyway. Just be sure to talk loud. Man’s deaf.” Ori opened his eyes when it didn’t seem like Dwalin was going to let go. His eyes trailed over Ori’s torso without blinking.

“Um…”

Dwalin looked up and Ori blushed. Dwalin’s hands gripped his waist.

“You’ve nothing to feel ashamed of,” he said, pulling him closer. Ori’s blush deepened. “The build a man has nothing to do with what makes him attractive to another man or a woman. You’re strong enough to fight if need be and having skill will always outmatch strength any day.”

“Seriously?”

Dwalin grinned. “See that girl over there? The redhead Kili’s talking to?”

Ori looked over. Kili was walking beside one of the maids. The girl was surprisingly tall and her hair was redder than Ori’s. “Yes.”

“Her name’s Tauriel. She came here on her own accord because she got into a fight with a man over another woman. Beat him at prize-fighting. Of course, it wasn’t really a fair fight since he wouldn’t fight back on the account that Tauriel’s a woman.”

“She boxes.”

“Yes, she does. I’ve had the privilege of seeing her fight a couple times. Damn woman is good at it too. Since lasses don’t have the advantage strength-wise over men, women boxers don’t rely solely on strength. True, they usually fight other women, but that broad managed to knock me out when she challenged me the last time I was here.”

“So just because I couldn’t beat you doesn’t mean I’m not a good fighter.”

“That…and never challenge that woman. In fact, if she challenges you, walk away.”

“What’s with her and Kili?”

“They’re friends, as far as I can tell. If there’s ever a possibility of more, I wouldn’t know.”

Dwalin stood and offered Ori his hand. “Have you been in a relationship at all?”

“No.”

“Not even with a woman?”

Ori shook his head. “I knew I was queer since I was a child,” he said. Dwalin grinned. “What?”

“So you’re a virgin.”

Ori scowled at him. “You don’t need to say it like that.”

“Like what?” Dwalin asked, pulling Ori close and pressed their pelvises together. “I’m honored to be your first, Ori,” he whispered. Ori bit his lip as Dwalin pushed his knee between Ori’s legs. “Meet me in my room tonight.”

“No,” Ori said, pushing him away. “I would like to have a relationship with you, but a proper one. Like what Bilbo and Thorin have or not at all.”

“What they have is a marriage,” Dwalin said. “Everyone starts somewhere, Lad.”

“Well, I suppose we can start where you don’t call me ‘lad,’” Ori pointed out. “I’m not a child.”

“I’m well aware.”

“Then don’t call me ‘lad,’” Ori said. “Instead of meeting in the dark in your room, how about we have dinner tonight and see where that leads?”

Dwalin crossed his arm. “You drive a hard bargain.”

“A hard bargain? Dinner is a ‘hard bargain’?” Ori knew it. A part of him wanted to bang his head against the wall, but he wasn’t going to screw this up. Certainly not! He waited long enough and he _wanted_ to know the real Dwalin first. Sleeping with him could wait. “We’ve waited this long, what’s a little longer?”

Dwalin sighed and kissed his hand. “Dinner it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lady's pugilism/fistfighting/boxing: 
> 
> http://www.fscclub.com/history/knuckle-e.shtml
> 
> It's awesome.


	12. Chapter 12

Bilbo stopped and pulled Frodo back when he saw a pair of constables outside Bag End. He sucked in a breath and prayed he wouldn’t seem off. Frodo clutched at his hand.

“Uncle?”

“It’ll be all right,” he assured Frodo as much as he was trying to assure himself. “Come on.” They approached the police and Bilbo tipped his hat. “Gentlemen,” he greeted. “Is it all right for me and my boy to go inside my house or…”

“It’s your house, Sir,” one of them said. Bilbo grinned.

“Come on, Frodo.” He led him inside to see that there were far more men in the house than he thought. Bilbo cleared his throat. “May I speak with the leading inspector?” he said. Frodo hid behind his leg. Bilbo didn’t blame him. He’d have done the same if he was still a child.

A tall man, pale and bald with the eeriest blue eyes Bilbo had seen approached. “Professor Baggins, I presume?” There was a barely distinguishable German accent, but it was there.

“Yes,” Bilbo said. “And you are…”

“Commissioner Azog Gundebad,” the man said, holding his hand out to him. Bilbo took it, shaking firmly. The other arm, he noticed was a stump with a prosthetic arm attached. Azog caught him staring and grinned. “War wound. You know how that is.”

“I’m afraid I don’t,” he said. “Never been much for fighting.”

“Scholarly type through and through, I take it.”

Bilbo nodded. “You fought in Sudan, I suppose?”

“Aye,” he said, grinning. “Maybe we could sit and talk? It’s quite an accusation you’ve been put under.”

“My cousin, Lobelia, is very spiteful,” he said. “She’s angry that she doesn’t get this house and that Drogo and Primula decided I would be a better guardian for their son in the event of...well.”

“Well, I couldn’t imagine anyone going as far to accuse me of buggery just for a house. Women, eh?”

“Yes.”

“You have another nephew, don’t you?”

“You mean Kili? Poor lad.” His stomach roiled. “Kili calls me an uncle, we aren’t related. He lives with his blood uncle, Thorin Durin. Perhaps you know him? He’s a banker.”

“I know him. Can’t say I like him. It’s said that Kili, uh,” he pulled out a notepad, “Kilian Archer spends a lot of time here.”

“It’s either here or Bedlam. Or another asylum. He can’t very well stay with his uncle given Thorin’s reputation, though he still loves Kili very much and would hate to write him out of his will simply because Kili is…well, you know. Kili’s still very young. His run with the Met was very unfortunate. Thorin knows Kili’s…oddities, I suppose you could say, but beside his affinity for women’s clothes, he’s not done anything to warrant a buggery accusation or arrest. He simply likes dresses and feels that he is better suited to be female rather than male. But he’s not attempted in any way to use it to lure in men and trick them into sleeping with him. Mostly because he’s preferred dresses since he was a lad. It does nothing but make him feel better about himself.”

“Odd way to gain self-esteem,” Azog said, arching a brow. “Why not convince him to try something else?” Bilbo hummed and Frodo stood.

“Can I go to my room?” he asked.

Bilbo glanced from him to Azog, who nodded. “Go on, then,” he said. Once Frodo was gone, he sighed. “I apologize. He’s usually not—”

“He’s a lad. I’ve one of my own. He’s a little younger than your ward, but I was still surprised he decided to stay around this long.” Despite how odd it was to see, Bilbo figured the smile on his face was genuine.

“How old is you son?”

“Four.”

“Frodo’s six…as we were saying, Kili does spend a lot of time here, but I’m just a caretaker doing a favor for a friend. Thorin and I went to Private School together and we still get along just fine. He asked me to take him in and I did. I admit I was worried at first, but I promise Kili is simply unique in his oddity.”

“I see. Where is Kili? We didn’t find him?”

“Thorin asked him to see to some things at the family manor.”

“Which is where?”

Bilbo furrowed his brow. “Sussex? I’ve never been there, so I can’t say I would know…but yes, I think it’s in Sussex. May I ask why the interest in Kili?”

“I only want to confirm what you’ve told me about him. He’d be…what? Eighteen, nineteen years old? And still likes to wear a dress? You know it sounds odd.”

Bilbo fumed. “As I said: he just likes to wear dresses and if you have known him as long as I had, you would know that.”

“So you say, Mr. Baggins, but even if what you say is true, you are connected to someone who has been caught in the act of buggery.”

“Just because he was wearing a dress? Kili was fifteen when he was arrested and the Metropolitan Police tormented him for it. You understand that that is why he almost never goes out. He’s been traumatized and there is nothing anyone can say to ease his emotional state on the matter. Approaching him as an inspector would set him back rather than help him.”

Azog only hummed.

“Besides,” Bilbo continued. “You’re not investigating Kili, but me.”

“As far as I can tell, you’ve done nothing to warrant the accusation. I will have a talk with Mrs. Sackville-Baggins, the charges against you will be dropped and I will write up a note for her to stay away from you, your lad, and your house as an apology.”

“Oh,” Bilbo felt as though a band around his chest had released and he leaned forward, massaging his forehead. “Thank you.”

“Kili on the other hand needs professional help.” And it was back. Bilbo looked up, hoping he didn’t seem too stunned. Actually, he wasn’t surprised at all, given the way the conversation had gone. “He _has_ to go a facility that is equipped to handle his illness.”

Bilbo tried to speak. He wanted to protest. In the end, he couldn’t say anything, save nod his head, as Azog cleared the room. Once they were gone, Bilbo went to check on Frodo.

He wanted to go to the bank and talk to Thorin right then, but it wasn’t likely to happen. He resisted the urge to run out the door with Frodo, offering instead to make him something to eat. He didn’t know if Azog would approach Thorin about Kili now. All he knew was that in getting the Met’s eyes off him, he put it on Kili instead.

“Are you hungry?” Bilbo asked.

Frodo looked up from his workbook and shook his head.

“Okay.” Bilbo went back downstairs and sat at the bottom step, hiding his face in his hands and wept. He was still there an hour later when Thorin returned.

“Bilbo? Love, what happened?”

“They aren’t going after me anymore,” he said.

Thorin sat beside him. “That’s good. It’s good—”

“They’re going after Kili again. I’m sorry, I…”

Thorin embraced him and kissed his temple. “We got through it once before, we’ll do it again,” he promised. “It’s going to be okay, Beloved. I swear our girl will be okay.”

#

“You have a brother?” Ori asked.

“One older brother,” Dwalin said. “He works under Thorin at the bank.”

“How is it you became a fisherman then? Couldn’t you have gone into finance too?”

“It wasn’t a matter of that I couldn’t. Rather it was more I didn’t want to,” Dwalin said, shrugging. “I never had a thing for sitting at a desk all day. I lived for danger and while the money might not have been great, at least I could work outside. My father never did understand it when I dropped out of private school and went into lumber. Then I came back and started working as a fisherman. More danger, more fun.”

“I don’t think I like the danger part. Thankfully, you work at Bag End now. Couldn’t you get a job at the bank? Perhaps as a security guard?”

“Could have if it were what I wanted. It never was. Bag End on the other hand was closer to what I liked to do and my free time is spent there anyway. And I know the place well enough. I saw no reason to refuse Bilbo’s offer as a bartender.”

Ori squeezed his hand. “It’s more than what I have any hope of doing. I know what I’m doing isn’t likely to get me any prospects or give me hope for my financial situation.”

“Nah. You’ll do fine. You’re good at art and you’ll likely get famous.”

“Unlikely. To do so, I would need to go somewhere else in Europe. Spain or Italy, maybe France.”

“God forbid you ever have to move to France!”

Ori laughed. “I don’t think it’s that bad.”

“Trust me on that. Thorin, Bilbo, and I went to France. Never again. We had fun, but we also ended up without clothes or a shilling to our name!”

“How did that happen?”

“Too much drinking. I think at one point I caught them in the middle of shagging. Ran out of the room pretty fast and wouldn’t look at Bilbo for days after. That might not have been in France, though.”

“Does Kili know this?”

“She does,” he said, grinning. “Not that she wants to, but she does.”

Ori shook his head. “I suppose Italy would be less insane?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“You know, maybe it had nothing to do with you, Bilbo, and Thorin being in France and more to do with that you were with Bilbo and Thorin.” Dwalin’s eyebrows rose and he slowly nodded. Ori laughed, leaning against him as Erebor came back in sight.

“So, any embarrassing stories?”

“Well, yes, I think that’d be obvious, but my embarrassing stories are all family centered with Dori and Nori.” There _was_ the time, quite recently, that he had to help Kili adjust her corset, but he didn’t want to relive that.

“I would guess so.”

“Okay when I was little, I made Nori pee his pants by throwing water on his trousers.” Dwalin roared with laughter. “So, as you can guess, he didn’t _really_ pee his pants. It just looked like he did. I was five, he would have been seven or eight and Dori was fifteen. Mum just shook her head and had him change his clothes while Dori was cracking up and I was spewing this _lie_ about how he got scared of a tiny little spider and peed his pants. All because he wouldn’t kill it for me and he was calling me a baby because I wouldn’t kill the spider myself.”

“How big was this spider again?”

“It was miniscule and I was _five_. It was a common house spider, too, completely harmless, but being five years old, it _scared_ me and Nori wasn’t helping any, so I threw water on his pants. Dori eventually took care of it, but he was laughing so hard I thought he actually _would_ pee his pants. He didn’t, being older, he had far more control, but still.”

Dwalin threw his arm around Ori’s shoulder. “That was brilliant.”

“Yeah, well, when it came to Dori, Nori and I used to team up against him.”

“Of course you did,” Dwalin said. “That’s our sacred duty as younger brothers—what is he doing back?”

Ori spotted Fili standing outside and Kili approaching him. Was this about their family again? As they got closer, they could make out bits of the conversation.

“Unless I can be myself, I will not go,” Kili said, crossing her arms. “It’s too dangerous for me right now, Fili.”

“It’s our _father_ , Kili. Does that mean nothing?”

“Again, what part of they were going to send me to Bedlam escapes your understanding? I’m _not_ going to see the man who would lock me away for being myself.”

“It’s not just Dad who wants to see you. Mum too—”

“You really think I _want_ to see her? She knew what goes on in Bedlam because Thorin had been there. She _knew_ and she _still_ was going to send me away!”

“Kili—”

“I am _not_ going, Fili!” Kili shouted. “I am _not_ going and that is—”

The carriage door opened and a woman stepped out. Ori could easily tell that this was Thorin’s sister. She looked far too much like him to not be. But her eyes were exactly the same shade of brown as Kili’s.

Kili silenced as she approached and took her hands.

“You don’t have to do anything. We won’t make you change your clothes or cut your hair,” she said. “But please see your father, Kili. Please just see him one last time.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions and discussions of abuse

_“I am not going, Fili!” Kili shouted. “I am not going and that is—”_

_The carriage door opened and a woman stepped out. Ori could easily tell that this was Thorin’s sister. She looked far too much like him to not be. But her eyes were exactly the same shade of brown as Kili’s._

_Kili silenced as she approached and took her hands._

_“You don’t have to do anything. We won’t make you change your clothes or cut your hair,” she said. “But please see your father, Kili. Please just see him one last time.”_

Kili pulled her hands away and backed off. “No. He is _not_ my father.”

“Kili—”

“Thorin and Bilbo raised me.”

“They are family, true, but this is the man who gave you life we speak of—”

“That does not make him my father,” Kili hissed. “Nor you my mother.”

Ori cringed.  _“Just because you got fucked and gave birth to me doesn’t make you my mother!”_

Dwalin steadied him. “Ori?” He shook his head, wanting to leave and yet unable to. Dwalin kept him grounded in the present, which helped keep that memory behind the gates.

Kili’s mother stood still, stunned. “Kili,” she whispered. “Please, come home. Just for a couple days.”

“No.”

Ori approached her. “This could be the last chance to make amends with him. Are you sure you don’t want to see your father?”

“He is _not_ my father.”

“They are human, Kili. They make mistakes.”

“This isn’t something they should be forgiven on.”

“I’m not saying you should forgive them,” Ori said. “I’m saying they’re asking you to grant a dying man his wish, which is to see his daughter again, even if he doesn’t recognize you as his daughter. Just this one mercy, Kili. That’s all they’re asking.”

“And what then? They take me to Bedlam?”

“Dwalin and I will _not_ let that happen. We’ll go with you. Thorin wanted us to protect you, so we will. Okay?”

“I don’t want to go.”

“I know. But after this, you won’t have to see them again.”

“Till when? Till she lies dying?”

“Never. You don’t go on their terms, but yours. If they don’t agree, then we won’t go anywhere but back inside and you can let off some steam in any way you like so long as it doesn’t involved bodily harm.”

“Since when have I bodily harmed anyone?”

“You do tend to punch people when you’re annoyed.” She smacked his shoulder and he hissed. “You just proved my point.”

“Wuss.”

“That legitimately hurt!”

Kili huffed and looked at her mother. Then shook her head. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Kili—”

“And if he’s not really dying? What then?”

“Why would I lie?”

“Why would anyone?” Kili bit back. Ori groaned. He knew she had her own traumatic experiences, but to be _this_ paranoid? He didn’t think it was that deep rooted.  _What did the Met do to you?_ Fili glared at them and turned to his mother, whispering something to her before redirecting his attention to them. “He has consumption, Kili.”

“That’s a pity,” she said, crossing her arms.

“I knew you were mad, but to be so spiteful—”

“I am _not_ mad,” Kili hissed. “And I want you off my uncle’s property. That is all I have to say. Go to hell and may the devil have pity for you! You won’t find it from me.” She spun on her heel and fled, striding for the house. Ori gaped at Kili’s retreating back. He looked at Dwalin, who sighed and approached the weeping woman.

“Dis, come inside and have a drink,” he said, “You, too, Fili. We need to have a chat. Ori, if you like you can come with us or go after Kili.”

“I think Kili would rather be alone right now,” Ori said. They followed Dwalin to one of the drawing rooms and once he sent word to the servants, sat down.

“How much of Kili’s life have you kept tabs on?” Dwalin asked. “Do you know what happened when she was fifteen?”

“All I know is that Víli had arranged to send Kili to Bedlam and that Thorin stepped in the way, forcing us to sign adoption papers which gave him full custody of Kili. Víli resisted for a long time. He was certain Thorin was going to…to hurt Kili despite that we both knew that Thorin was in very exclusive relationship with Bilbo. After that, Kili went to stay with Thorin and Bilbo and we never heard from them again. Víli only did what he thought was right.”

“Sending a child to Bedlam? That’s what he thought was right? You know nothing about what goes on in those places, do you,” he scoffed. A servant arrived with a cart. Once the table was laden, she left and Dwalin continued:

“Well, I can promise you that sending Kili to Bedlam would not have done a damn thing save damage her. Recall Thorin’s leg? It was messed up at Bedlam. The horrors there…you can’t imagine it. It wouldn’t have helped Kili in the slightest.” He took a breath. “You may not want to believe it, Dis, but I am not lying. Thorin’s interference with Víli’s plans saved Kili from being tortured. For nearly a decade, he and Bilbo raised her properly and gave her the freedom she needed to express herself. She was lucky. Luckier than most lads and lasses like her.”

“Till three years ago,” Fili said. “You said something happened when Kili was fifteen.”

“The Metropolitan Police arrested her because she was wearing a dress in public.”

“Kili is male.”

“Her physical appearance has _nothing_ to do with her gender,” Ori snapped. “Kili identifies as a woman and it is important that she be respected as a woman. Something, you and your mother and father could not do, but Thorin and Bilbo did.”

“The met did their job.”

“If that was all they did, then why is it that when Thorin and Bilbo finally got her back, she was beaten black and blue? Fifteen years old, just doing a grocery run for her uncles, and there had never been a problem before. Now someone starts accusing her of buggery just because she’s got a lad’s body donned in a lass’ clothing. Other than that, she did nothing to provoke anyone. You’re still going to argue that they were just doing their job. No, Fili, the police aren’t here to help anyone. They never did and they never will. Their interests have always lied in helping the wealthy and those who conform to their view of right and wrong. Kili was innocent. She wasn’t doing anything but grocery shopping. And she was half dead when we finally got her back. After that, she refused to leave Bag End unless it was to come to Erebor.”

Ori furrowed his brow. _What about her relationship with Thranduil?_

“Now you come here, asking her to see the man who started it all?” Dwalin continued. “Of course she doesn’t want to see him. He all but disowned her because she would _not_ conform to his ideal of who he wanted her to be. She is scared and she has every right to be.”

“We’re her family,” Fili snapped.

“Her family is Bilbo and Thorin, and both of them asked me to protect her in their absence. Promise me when I say what you’re asking could very well get her hurt again and that is not a risk I nor, it seems, Kili, is willing to take.” Ori sipped his tea. He hadn’t thought of that at all, and hearing about what happened to her, at long last, he wasn’t sure if his hands shook out of fear or anger. Likely both.

“Our father is dying. Whatever trauma he went through—”

Dwalin leaned forward, fixing Fili with such a glare that he ended up cutting himself off and paling. “Lad, you don’t _have_ a brother. You’ve got a fine, spunky, and strong lass of a sister and she deserves to be recognized as such. Stop misgendering her, you’re as bad as your father in that regard. And you,” he turned to Dis. “What happened to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Huh. Funny. Weren’t you the one who helped Thorin escaped Bedlam in the first place? You know what goes on there. You _know_ it was wrong, and still you were going to let that happen to your daughter.”

Fili turned to her. “Mum?”

“I grew up.”

“I wouldn’t call that growing up. More like brainwashing, I think.”

“Thorin didn’t have to keep living with Thror after that, _I did_. And I learned that there are some things that simply cannot be changed not by one woman. I’m not that powerful and my grandfather made that _very_ clear after what I did to help Thorin.”

“And you wouldn’t make the same ‘mistake’ to save your child though you’d do it for your brother.”

“Dwalin, stop,” Ori said, reaching out to him.

“I am sorry I am not as strong as Joan of Arc or Mulan or any other woman who has forced men to recognize her as the force that she is. I wish I was. I am not that strong.”

“So you're content being a doll like every other woman in your position.”

Dis stood and slapped him. Ori cringed, but Dwalin didn’t even blink. Dis squared her shoulders. “Fili, we’re leaving.”

Fili set his cup down and followed her out. Once the door closed, Dwalin leaned back, massaging his jaw. “For someone who thinks she lost her fire, she’s still got her spark.”

“I don’t think riling her up is what’s going to ignite it again,” Ori said, setting his cup down and approaching him. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Dwalin said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m not. I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have talked about that. Not without Kili’s consent, at least.”

“Kili wasn’t going to tell me any time soon, or anyone, I suppose, and I didn’t realize that they…”

“That they almost killed her? Yeah, Dain wasn’t in charge then and Thorin, being a lord and a holder of one of London’s banks…he had a lot of power. We don’t know what happened, but it’s definitely too dangerous for Kili to leave Erebor right now.”

“He’d not been there very long.”

“Long enough for them to want him gone and replace him with someone who _will_ crack down on buggery. The thing is, when love starts being treated as illegal, that’s when evil and hate are allowed to thrive. For some reason, it’s become _Christian_ to hate.”

“I don’t think Christians exist, not real ones anyway. I think there is too much evil and too much corruption for Christianity to thrive healthily. It couldn’t in the past. It can’t now…honestly, the only thing about it that’s even remotely true is how pathetic we are as a race and that we need some sort of moral guidance. I think Christianity provides some of that, but perhaps not enough. We certainly aren’t achieving Jesus’ ideal of what he had in mind.”

Dwalin groaned and stood. “Enough talk on religion. I’m going to check on the lady of the house, make sure she’s not breaking too many figurines. What about you?”

Ori shrugged. “Write my brothers? I don’t know.”

Dwalin pinched his chin, raising his head to meet his eyes. “Would you have dinner with me tonight?”

Ori smiled and took Dwalin’s hand, kissing his knuckles. “I’d love to.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead. if you'd rather not read it, skip from the # to the ~~~

 

> _My dear Kili,_
> 
> _I regret to inform you that while Azog has passed over me and cleared me of committing buggery, he has set his sight on you. Returning to London now would be extremely dangerous._
> 
> _However, we need Dwalin at the shop, as it should be safe enough to open Bag End again. And Ori needs to return home and to school. Even without them there, you should be safe in Erebor a little while longer._
> 
> _Send my dresses with them and do be careful, love. We’ll let you know if or when Azog decides to drop charges against you._
> 
> _All our love,_
> 
> _Bilbo and Thorin_

Kili peered out the window, hoping she wouldn’t see her mother’s carriage still there.

Then she saw her and Fili walking out to the carriage. Kili leaned against the window, watching. Dis entered the carriage first and Fili looked up, meeting her eyes.

He raised his hands and began to sign.

A maid’s daughter was deaf and she taught them how to sign. She didn’t expect him to remember that. 

_We need to talk. Meet me tonight here by the lake._

He lowered his hands and entered, deciding to not to wait for Kili’s answer.

As soon as the carriage lurched into movement, Kili leaned back in her seat. She wasn’t going. No matter what anyone wanted from her. There was nothing Fili could do or say that would convince her to meet with Víli.

She’d show Dwalin the letter tomorrow, when she was in a better mood than now. Someone knocked at the door and Kili stood to admit them. She smiled at Tauriel.

“I didn’t expect anyone to come so soon.”

“Figured you’d want tea,” she said, setting the tray down. “It’s chamomile.”

“And biscuits?”

“Whatever helps,” she said, shrugging. “Is everything all right?”

“Depends on your definition of all right,” Kili admitted, pouring a cup and sitting back. “Would you like to join me? I could use a little company.”

Tauriel sat down and laid her hands in her lap. “I am sorry about your family.”

“We all have our problems with our family. I doubt I’m the only one here who was disowned or almost sent to Bedlam or some other madhouse.”

“We know,” she said. “Will you be returning to London?”

“No. My uncles think it’d be safer for me to stay right now. And I’d rather stay anyway. And I don’t know if it’s necessary, but we may need to be ready to evacuate Erebor if the Met finds out about this place.”

“You think they will?”

“New commissioner,” he said. “Who seems to hate people like us.”

“I thought he was just targeting your uncle.”

“He isn’t anymore,” he said, handing her the letter and taking a sip of tea. “I don’t know why or how, but I’m still on their radar. I’m terrified, Tauriel.”

“I know you are,” she said. “We all are. Some of have lived here for so long, it’s hard to imagine living anywhere else. Erebor is supposed to be safe. For now it still is. Miss Kili,” Tauriel stood and knelt at Kili’s side taking her hand. “You’re stronger than you think. We all are. Whatever may come, we can and will fight it. We can and will succeed and I will do everything in my power to protect you.”

“Tauriel—”

“Let me. Please. You know I can.”

“I’m not weak!”

“I know you are not,” Tauriel said. “I know you are not.” She kissed Kili’s hand and stood. “At least think about it, Miss.”

With that, Tauriel fled the room and Kili stared at the door, dumbstruck.

_What just happened?_

#

Ori wasn’t sure how having dinner with Dwalin led to being pinned to the wall by him while Dwalin kissed his neck and rubbed him through his trousers, but he wasn’t exactly complaining. He guessed there was some flirting, a little too much wine for both of them, and perhaps a few welcome touches that set them aflame.

Ori’s fingers dug into Dwalin’s shoulders and he bit back a whine, hips canting against Dwalin’s palm. “Bedroom,” he whispered. “I want you. Proper. Please, Dwalin.”

Dwalin growled, reluctant to pull away, but he grabbed Ori’s wrist and pulled him to his room.

Once the door had closed again, Dwalin cupped Ori’s face and pressed his mouth to his. Ori moaned, wrapping his arms around Dwalin’s neck as Dwalin lifted him up in his arms and carried him to the bed, laying him onto the mattress and settling between Ori’s legs.

He straightened, standing on his knees and stripped his shirt. Ori did the same, hands shaking and a little hesitant. Once his shirt was open, Dwalin leaned down, kissing his chest and hands gripping Ori’s waist. Ori’s hips canted again and he bit his lip, trying to keep his voice locked down in his throat as Dwalin sucked and teased his nipples.

“Don’t hold your voice back,” Dwalin said, popping the buttons of Ori’s trousers. “I want to hear you, Ori,” he whispered, tugging them down. “I want to hear you moan,” he tossed them off the bed and placed his hands on Ori’s inner thighs, pushing them further apart. Ori shuddered at the sudden cold, clawing at the sheets. “I want you screaming my name as you fall apart.”

Dwalin kissed the junction where his leg met the hip and Ori’s mouth fell open, his hips canted upward and his nails were digging into his pal through the sheets.

Dwalin gripped the base of his cock stroked. Ori shuddered again, this time from the soft waves of pleasure rolling like warm waves through his body. Dwalin’s other hand rested on his shoulder as he hovered over Ori.

“I’d have you loose and pliant,” Dwalin whispered in his ear, “completely relaxed as I stretch you open for me. It’s a pleasure you’ve never had before, it’d feel odd at first, but you’d get used to it before long and you’d beg me for more, to go harder, to make you scream.”

Ori moved his hands to Dwalin’s shoulders. “Please,” he whispered. “Dwalin.”

“No one is going to care,” he said. “No one here is going to mind your voice. Let them listen. You are mine.” Dwalin bit down on his neck, flicking his thumb over Ori’s slit, smearing precome over the skin.

Ori clung tighter to him as Dwalin dipped his head down and sucked on his nipple again before moving down his chest and stomach. He stilled his hand at the base of Ori’s cock and licked the head. Ori gasped and Dwalin chuckled.

“Dwalin…”

“You like that?” Ori hesitated to reply. He did like it. He liked it a lot. “Do you?”

“Yes,” Ori said. “Yes,” he said a little louder.

Dwalin licked again, swirling his tongue around the head. He closed his lips around the head of Ori’s cock and sucked. Ori gasped, fingers digging into Dwalin’s shoulders.

“Oh God, Dwalin! Dwalin, please, yes! Oh God, yes! Dwalin, I think I’m going to come—”

Dwalin hummed, his free hand moving down to tease Ori’s perineum. Ori shuddered and twisted the sheets in his hands as his orgasm coursed through him. Dwalin released him, finger still pressed to his perineum. He licked his lips as Ori focused on regaining his breath. Dwalin kissed his shoulder.

“Turn over,” he ordered.

Ori blinked, then obeyed, arms crossed and he pressed his forehead to his arms as Dwalin massaged his ass. Ori yelped when Dwalin bit a cheek before spreading them apart and pressed a finger against the rim of his hole, teasing.

“There’s a jar of oil on your right,” Dwalin said, “Grab it for me, love.”

Ori blinked and looked at the jar before grabbing it and handing it to Dwalin. After a moment, a chilled, slick finger pressed into him, sliding inside. Ori gasped and raised his hips.

“Dwalin…”

“I’m going to fuck you,” Dwalin promised as he pumped the finger in him. Ori shuddered as Dwalin moved his other hand around and gripped his cock again. “I’m going to mark you as my own. You’ll be so sore you’ll have difficulty walking in the morning and everyone will know you’re mine.”

“Oh God…” Ori groaned. Dwalin pulled his finger out and Ori gasped as he pushed in a second finger. “Dwalin, please!”

“You’ve never been taken, aye?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then let me make sure you’re stretched proper, else this will hurt more than it should,” Dwalin kissed his shoulder and slowly spread Ori wider as he continued to stroke and tease his cock.

At last, Dwalin deemed him good enough to take him and pulled his fingers out. Ori relaxed and tried to stay relaxed as Dwalin eased his slickened, hard cock inside. Ori gasped, quivering around Dwalin’s cock.

Dwalin massaged his back, waiting for Ori to adjust to the size and as soon as Ori was relaxed again, Dwalin placed his hands on either side of Ori and rolled his hips down, building pace. A slight adjustment had him slamming his cock into a spot that made Ori scream and moan, writhing as Dwalin fucked him.

He came a second time, twitching at the sensations and squeezing around Dwalin’s cock, bringing several curses out of his lover’s mouth as he came inside Ori.

Once the tremors ended, Dwalin eased out and Ori shuddered at both the sensation and the loss of heat.

~~~

Dwalin rolled on his back, panting.

“Not bad for your first time,” Dwalin said.

Ori blushed and hid his face in the pillow. “Was I bad?”

Dwalin laughed. “No, Ori. You weren’t.” He turned on his side and nudged Ori till he looked at him. “You did just fine.” He got back on his knees and Ori arched a brow.

“Again?”

“I don’t know what kind of stamina you think I have, but no, not for a few minutes at least.”

“Too tired,” Ori groaned as Dwalin looked him over. He slapped Ori’s ass and got off the bed.

“I’ll go start a bath for us and send word for someone to bring a change of sheets,” Dwalin said, heading into the bathroom.

Ori tried to get up, but his limbs refused to listen to his brain. He heard Dwalin make the request for new sheets and felt his arms around him, lifting him up. “Can’t move.”

Dwalin snorted. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said, settling Ori into the tub before joining him. Ori lay against Dwalin’s back and let Dwalin massage him.

“Like this,” he said. “Should do it more.”

“I’d like that,” Dwalin said, kissing his shoulder. “Feeling all right?”

“A little sore, muscles refuse to cooperate, but otherwise, I feel fine,” Ori said, turning his head to look at Dwalin. “I should write my brothers. Let them know everything’s still fine.” Dwalin wrapped his arms around Ori’s torso and kissed his neck. “They keep bugging me about when I’m coming home…”

“I doubt it’ll be much longer.”

“Are you sure? We haven’t heard from Bilbo or Thorin yet.”

“I’m sure.” Dwalin kissed him again and Ori nestled against him. “I love you, Ori.”

“Love you more,” Ori said, grinning as fatigue overtook him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm...don't know where the Tauriel/Kili thing came about. Might expand. Might not.  
> Also, don't know BSL, studied some ASL. Either way, it will likely be a bit inaccurate.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a little more smut...kind of...  
> If you'd rather skin go from ~ to ~
> 
> OH! And some transphobic language at the end.

Kili handed Dwalin the letter from Bilbo and poured herself another cup of tea. Dwalin glanced up at her and set it down. “I can tell them I should stay.”

“No. I’ll be fine here by myself,” Kili said. “I won’t really be alone after all.” She smiled, as if trying to assure Dwalin, but it didn’t work on him or Ori, who picked up the letter and read it.

“Well, regardless, I _do_ have to go back. I’ve missed more school than I can afford to, so I really should get back, even if I go alone.”

“You won’t go alone,” Kili said, arching a brow at Dwalin. “Both of you should go home. I’ll be fine here. I promise.”

“What about your brother?”

“What about him?”

“He didn’t seem to be willing to let the matter rest. I’m sure he’ll be back.”

“Perhaps, but if he’s that stubborn, how stubborn do you think _I_ am? I can handle Fili just fine on my own. If I need to, I’ll tell him it’s too dangerous for me to go to London. It wouldn’t be a lie and if I show him that, then he would know it’s true.”

“Here’s hoping,” Dwalin said. “All right, but be careful.” She nodded.

“I’ll have a carriage prepared for you. Bilbo should only have three trunks.”

“Only?”

“He wanted to make sure he had everything that would incriminate him out,” Kili said, shrugging.

“Really?” Ori asked.

“It’s the Met. When it comes to the Met, paranoia is the key to success,” Kili said, grinning at him. Ori supposed that was true. Dwalin shook his head.

“Lucky bastard.”

“Actually, I think my own paranoia and even some guilt at how I feel always seemed to play a part in my success and staying under the radar.”

“Until Nori.”

“Who, despite not understanding, accepted me regardless and let me in on a secret of his own.”

“Really?” Kili asked.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret.” Besides, he wasn’t sure how to get around revealing that he had a niece living in the East End because Nori couldn’t step up and claim her without ruining the family name in some way or other…

To be fair, Ori didn’t think it would. None of them really had the same father and that was one of the more guarded family secrets. So really, claiming Sylvia wouldn’t really change anything.

“Fair enough,” Kili said, setting the cup down. “I’ll set it up and you should be ready to leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Dwalin asked, arching a brow.

“Why not stay a little longer?”

“Is something wrong?”

“What?! No. No, it’s just…I figured you’d two want another night together before going back to London,” she said, smiling sheepishly.

Ori blushed and Dwalin glowered. “Who talked?”

“Couldn’t tell you where it began,” she admitted. “But either way, I’m happy for you two. About time you made it official.”

Ori hid his face behind his hand as Dwalin fumed at someone spreading rumors about them. What said rumors were, Ori wasn’t sure he wanted to know. They did sleep together last night, but he didn’t see why that would be considered something to spread about!

Ori sucked in a breath and stood. “I think it doesn’t matter where we are. If we want to be together, we will be together. We don’t have to be here for it work, you know. Anyway, I’ve still got to write my brothers. Let them know I’ll be home soon.”

“Sooner the better?”

“I don’t even want to think about how much school I’ve missed,” Ori mumbled. His professors would be furious. He’s certain of it. Well, nothing to be done about it now. He made to leave, kissing Dwalin’s cheek before heading out of the room.

“That was adorable.”

“Shut up, Kili,” Ori snapped. She grinned and poured herself another cup of tea. Ori decided to write the letter first and send it before he got to packing. It was short, assuring that he was all right and that he’d be home in a couple days. He couldn’t exactly tell them where he’d gone or why. It wouldn’t do much good telling the truth in this situation. Nori might understand, but Dori…

He couldn’t imagine Dori taking it well at all if he were to find out that Ori was queer.

Hell, he didn’t think _Nori_ would accept him. True, he didn’t understand, but he didn’t have to. He just accepted. It was strange, actually being able to bond with _Nori_ of all people.

Ori shook his head and handed the letter to a servant to be sent to the post office before going to his room. In the middle of packing, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

“Send that letter?”

“Yes,” Ori said. Dwalin kissed his shoulder. “It should get there before us.”

“Should. We’ll be stopping at Bag End first before sending you home. Gives it a little more time to arrive before you.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“You okay?”

“Yes, except…how are we going to navigate this when we’re back?” he asked. “Won’t it be harder?”

“A bit,” Dwalin said. “But hundreds of men and women manage just fine without exposure.”

“I don’t want it to be some secret.”

“You think any of us do? It’s hard, hiding, but we don’t have a choice. Bilbo and Thorin live together, and at the same time, Thorin has another house in London that is his address. Bilbo and Kili stay in Bag End, and he’s there more often than not. It’s very rare that this house is ever used. They’ve mastered the secrecy and managed to have a good relationship for nearly twenty years and ongoing. They successfully raised a child and now they’ll do the same with another. It can be done.”

Ori met his gaze. “With practice.”

“Lots of practice. You’re lucky enough to have avoided any missteps and mistakes so far,” he said. “But it won’t be for much longer. There you have to hide, and you’ll get better at it. And I’ll be there with you to help. Same with Bilbo and Thorin and the rest of us. You are not alone and you never have to face it alone again. Do you understand?”

Ori nodded, smiling. Dwalin kissed him. Ori returned it, wrapping his arms around Dwalin’s neck as he was lifted into Dwalin’s arms. Dwalin sat on the bed, lying down with his hands still gripping Ori’s thighs. Ori’s hands moved from Dwalin’s neck to beside his head.

~

“May I touch you?” Ori asked one hand placed on Dwalin’s chest.

“Fuck yes,” Dwalin groaned. Ori unbuttoned Dwalin’s trousers and pulled his cock out. He stroked it, kissing Dwalin’s neck and down.

“Can I suck you?” he asked, biting his lip. Dwalin’s hips canted.

“Yes.”

Ori’s hands shook and he swallowed before dragging his tongue over the head of Dwalin’s cock. Dwalin cursed and Ori tried again with a little more surety than before. He minded his teeth as he took Dwalin in, one arm pinning him down and the other still wrapped around the base of his cock.

Ori sucked in, humming. His hips rolled against nothing, arousal coursing through his veins. He swallowed down a little more until it was almost too much and pulled back up to a point where he won’t gag on Dwalin’s cock. He doubted that’d be pleasant. Dwalin’s fingers curled into his hair and Ori shuddered, groaning.

Dwalin cursed, spilling in his mouth. Ori’s eyes watered and he swallowed, a little bit of semen spilled out his lips and he pulled off, licking his lips. Dwalin released his hair and sat up. “You all right?”

Ori nodded. “You?”

“Fine,” Dwalin said, tucking himself back in his pants. Ori stood, conscious of the way Dwalin stared at him before licking his lips. His gaze rose. “May I return the favor?”

Ori nodded and Dwalin pulled him into a rough kiss before switching places. When Dwalin closed his lips around Ori’s cock, Ori gasped, digging his fingers into the sheets. He bobbed his head, humming and Ori whimpered, rolling his hips. Dwalin moved further down till he was at the base, teeth gently scraping against the skin as he moved back up to the head.

Ori fell back, sheets twisted in his hands. Dwalin hummed and sucked. His tongue swirled around the slit, licked at it. Teeth gently nibbled along the shaft. Ori whimpered, shaking through the pleasure…

He arched his back as he spilled in Dwalin’s mouth, feeling his throat contract and expand. At last, Dwalin released him, placing a gentle kiss on the head.

~

“Good?”

“Yes,” Ori said, feeling a little breathless. Dwalin stood as Ori tucked himself back in. “I’m not sure I want to return. I know we must, so we will, but…”

“Yeah, going back doesn’t sit well with me either,” Dwalin said, kissing his forehead. “It’ll be all right.”

Ori wasn’t so sure, but he gave Dwalin a small nod nonetheless.

#

Fili was back again that night, waiting by the lake. Kili went out with Tauriel, arms locked together. Fili arched a brow at them and sighed. “At least you’re attracted to the right gender.”

Tauriel growled, but Kili hushed her before looking at him. “Don’t assume you know me, Fili. What are you doing here?”

“You know why. Dying wish, Kili. Is it really that hard to grant?”

“I can’t go back.”

“Last time, you said you won’t. Now it’s you can’t?”

“The Met is after me again, Fili.”

“Maybe if you dressed as a man you’d not have this problem,” Fili snapped.

“How dare you!” Tauriel hissed. “Miss Kili has done _nothing_ to warrant their spite. Or yours.” Fili stepped close to her.

“Are you not just a maid? What are you doing here?”

“Tauriel is one of Erebor’s best boxer in the ladies’ division.”

“Oh, so you switched bodyguards.”

“Dwalin is going home. Same as Ori.”

“You’re tutor, right. The red-head. Rather young to be a tutor.”

“He’s a little older, a close friend, and far more noble than you ever will be,” Kili spat. “Fili, Víli Archer is not my father. I’ve not gone by Archer in years. I’m a Durin. Thorin and Bilbo are my fathers. They’ve done more for me than anyone else in this god-forsaken shithole. They raised me, protected me as best they can, all while doing their best to not stifle me from people like _you_ and Víli and mother.”

Fili seized Kili’s coat. “You want to know the truth? Mum told me on the way back to town yesterday. Something she never told anyone: you’re living with them because she begged them to save you from father. She said she knew it’d be a mistake, but she couldn’t do anything outward to help you, not without getting in trouble with father, so she went to our uncle. They hadn’t been in contact in years after she helped him escape Bedlam and then one day, several years later, she writes him to help get you away? Even if you don’t want to see father, you owe mother this. She loves you as you are, though God knows why! You wouldn’t even be here if she didn’t contact Thorin, Kili.”

“I’m not kidding about the met. They’re after me. I’ve done nothing and I’m on their radar—”

“Would it kill you to be _normal_? You don’t want them after you? Pretend to be normal.”

“I am normal,” Kili snapped, pulling him off. “You’re just too small minded to see it. Too bigoted. Like _him_. Owe it to mother or not, I can’t go and I won’t sacrifice who I am just to fit into your idea of what’s _normal_ to see the man who tried to destroy me and everything about me. It is not that I hate him, it is that I do not know him and seeing him again, even once…it’s too much of a risk and he is not anyone to me. I’m not going, Fili. Not ever.”

“He’s dying.”

“He also wanted to send a seven year old _child_ to _Bedlam!_ ” Kili shouted. “BEDLAM, Fili! What they do there is NOT medicine! It’s torture! Or does not even _that_ register in your tiny brain?! Give it up. Leave me alone. _Never_ approach me again. Never even come _near_ me! I want nothing to do with you. Any of you! The least you can do is respect that.”

With that, Kili strode past him, Tauriel beside her. Once inside, Kili hid her face in her hands and wept. Tauriel embraced her, promising to send for tea. Kili shook her head and wished Ori didn’t have to go back.

She wished Bilbo and Thorin were here.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates Wednesdays starting today!

As soon as Bilbo had all his dresses, petticoats, and corsets back, he locked himself in his room and when he came out, it wasn’t as Professor Baggins, but Mrs. Durin.

Thorin kissed her and when she returned, the patrons cheered.

“You seem better,” Ori said.

“I _feel_ better,” Bilbo said. “Though, again, I would prefer to get rid of these blasted corsets, but such is the price.” She handed Ori a tankard.“Drink up. I’m sure you’ll need a little liquid courage before heading home.”

“That’s an understatement,” Ori said, taking a swig. “Where’s Thorin?”

“With Dwalin,” Bilbo said. “Likely discussing how things are with Kili.”

“Did he tell you about Kili’s brother and mother showing up?”

“He did,” Bilbo sighed, massaging his forehead. “God help us all if Víli gets what he wants. If they don’t understand that it’s dangerous, well…I’m sure Thorin can beat it over their heads.”

“I think it’s more beat it over Fili’s,” Ori said.

“Is that disdain I hear?”

“Just wondering how someone like Kili could be related to someone so disagreeable.” Bilbo hummed, lighting a cigar. “The way he talked to her…it was just…”

“Disrespectful? Horrid? Inappropriate? Most men and women who are what society has deemed ‘normal’ are like that.”

Ori glared at his mug. “Why? Is it really that hard to try and understand?”

“For many people, yes,” Bilbo reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “But there was a time that people like us were accepted. There are places in the world, I am sure, where we would be treated as wonderful rather than strange, and that is putting it lightly. The thing is, Ori, that no matter what we go through, sometimes it’s too much, but those of us here, we are doing what we can to be strong. We are doing what we can to rise above the pain and we are doing what we can to fight back, even if it’s just in a small way.”

Ori looked around.

The men and women here were lost in their own world, laughing and smiling together.

“I intended for Bag End to be a place where people like us can be safe, have a drink, and be themselves. Why did you seek us out, after all?”

“I was tired of hiding,” Ori admitted. “And now I’m out to one of my brothers and, well, so far, he understands and I really thought he wouldn’t.”

“Does it help that he supports you even if he doesn’t really understand?”

“Yes, a little bit.”

“It makes it easier to bear, right?”

“Yes.”

“See, my parents were the same. My father didn’t understand, but he accepted me anyway. My mother had a brother who was like us and they lost him when he was barely out of college. So when I realized that there were times I preferred to dress as a woman and be referred to as such, my parents supported me. It wasn’t till I was much older that I learned that not everyone was like them. When I went to private school, I was convinced I’d have to hide who I really was. One weekend, I thought Thorin would be gone—we were roommates, you see—and I decided to put a dress on, just to relieve a little of the tension building in me. Except, he caught me. From there, well, you can imagine how it progressed.”

“That must have been embarrassing.”

“I was too frightened that he’d drag me out of the dorm and humiliate me in front of the school to be embarrassed. Thorin didn’t say a word of it. Just left, then a bit later he asked me about it, and we talked. He told me he’d been questioning and we started courting after that. In those days it was much easier for me to pass as a girl. Bit harder now.”

“I don’t know, I think no one would notice.”

“Thank you, but they’d have to not be paying attention,” Bilbo said, grinning. “But I think my point is that the majority of our world is full of people who do not know how to see people outside their circle as people.

“We’re just here filling space, so they close us off and the moment we make ourselves heard, they try to shut us out because they don’t want to hear anything that interferes with their idea of what constitutes as normal. To them, we don’t exist. And the moment we do, they don’t want us to.”

Ori raised his mug and took a drink.

“With that in mind, we fight. And we fight hard,” she looked up and grinned. “You two took your time.”

“Some things need to be cleared up tomorrow,” Thorin said, kissing Bilbo as Dwalin wrapped an arm around Ori’s shoulder. Thorin glared at him. “And I thought you told me everything.”

Dwalin shrugged. “You know now and shouldn’t _you_ be getting home?”

“I don’t want to,” Ori admitted, slumping. “I get having to go back to school, but home? I’m kind of scared of Dori yelling at me for running off like I did I can’t exactly tell him why, after all.”

“True,” Dwalin said. “I’ll go with you and if it’s too much, you can stay at my place.”

Ori beamed. “Really?”

“Don’t see why not.”

“Could be a little risky,” Bilbo said. “With the Met and all.”

“Would anyone suspect us?” Ori asked.

“Doubtful,” Dwalin said, kissing his cheek. “Come on.” Ori stood and Dwalin’s arm hung around his neck protectively. “Let’s see the damage done.”

With a final goodbye to Bilbo and Thorin, they left.

Once home, Dwalin waited across the street where he could see from the window and promised that if it got too much, he’d come over and knock three times. Ori nodded and entered the house.

“Dori? Nori?” he called.

“Parlor,” Dori replied. Ori sucked in a breath and entered. Dori was massaging his forehead, a glass of brandy in his hand. Ori blanched at the notebook resting on the table.

“You look like shit,” Ori said, trying to keep his voice light. “I’m sorry I ran off like that, but there was something I had to take care of.”

“With one of my former employees?” Dori asked, setting the glass down. “These are good drawings. Some a bit more…salacious than I’d like, but good nonetheless.”

So they were _not_ going to tiptoe around it. “You shouldn’t have gone snooping.”

“You ran off without a word and not _once_ explained why. Just that something came up and you had to go. Not once did you ever get into why you left, so I went looking for clues,” Dori stood, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Did you run off with a man twice your age out of some fantastical idea that he loved you?”

“He’s not twice my age,” Ori said. “And that isn’t why I left. My student—”

“I really doubt this student even exists, Ori.”

“She does. I promise she does. Something came up, she needed someone to leave with her, and her parents couldn’t, so I offered to go with her instead. I admit that I am in love with another man, but I didn’t leave because of him.” Ori swallowed. “He doesn’t even know I exist.”

“He doesn’t?”

Ori shook his head. “I know this is hard for you to accept, me loving a man, but I didn’t run away. I had something that I needed to see through and I did. I came home didn’t I?”

Dori nodded and picked up the book. He tossed it in the fire and Ori tried to keep his face neutral despite how his heart broke at the loss. He had been thinking of giving it to Dwalin when he had the chance. Well, a notebook could be replaced.

“Have you always been…queer? Or is it just this man?”

“Does it matter?”

“It matters,” Dori said. “It matters a lot, Ori. There are some things that can be overlooked. This is _not_ one of them. You need help.”

Ori swallowed. There’d been others, certainly…before Dwalin, none he acted on, and after Dwalin, it’d been just him.

Obsessively him and even now, even with Dwalin returning his feelings, Ori still feared it wasn’t real. Just the idea of it…

“Just him,” Ori said. “Just Dwalin.”

“Okay,” Dori sighed. “Go to bed. We’ll figure this out later.”

With that, Ori went to his room and looked out the window.

He waved at Dwalin, who tipped his hat and left. Ori closed the blinds and sighed.

Whatever came next was not going to be pleasant…

“Can I come in?”

Ori looked at Nori and nodded, sitting on his bed.

“Dori found my sketchbook.”

“I know. Showed me a few things. I seriously thought you were into Kili and to be honest, I prefer him- _her_. I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

“I know you are. More than Dori is going to anyway.”

“He won’t send you to Bedlam. You can at least take comfort in that.”

“Oh, I can, can I? I don’t know if that’s any better than this. But it really could be worse.”

“It could,” Nori agreed. He squeezed Ori’s shoulder. “I’m not going to let Dori do anything to you that will hurt you in the long run. Your employers…if it gets too bad, can you go to them?” Ori nodded. “Then do so if Dori gets too overbearing. He’ll come around. I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t know if he can. Lots of people aren’t able to.”

“If I can, then Dori can, too.”

“And if he finds out about Sylvia?”

“I don’t know. I think that might be too much for now. Let’s worry about this and keep Sylvia out of it for the time being.”

Ori nodded and Nori let go. “Get some sleep.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Try. You’ll need all the energy you can get to face whatever may come.” With that, he left and Ori performed his evening ablutions.

Despite knowing he needed to sleep, it never came.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More partial Bagginshield smut...

The following days were akin to the ticking of a clock. Routine. He got up, dressed, ate, and went to class, doing all he could to catch up on his assignments. He went to Bag End early after his classes, but never stayed long if he wanted Dori to get off his back, always home on time for dinner.

If Ori didn’t know better, he’d say his life had gone back to the dull monotone it used to be before he went to Bag End for the first time.

He wished Kili was here, if only to have someone to talk to. As it was, she was still in Erebor, unable to come back as long as the Met were after her.

He bought a new notebook, already working on drawings that depicted his new life, his not-so-very-secret life…

He drew Bag End from memory, with Bilbo in her gowns and wigs behind the counter with Thorin on the other side, holding a bouquet of flowers for her. The second was Kili, reading a book by the fireplace. Dwalin at Erebor. Sometimes, he’d draw a pair of lovers he noticed in Bag End being affectionate. Men and women both, hands locked, gazing into each other’s eyes as if the world only consisted of them.

It was risky to even draw these, but Ori felt that if he didn’t he’d go insane.

He downed a shot and the group around the bar cheered. Ori coughed and the hands slapping his back weren’t helping. “Bloody hell, I’m _never_ doing that again.”

“I’m sure you will,” Dwalin said with a grin. “Not bad for your first time.”

“That was rancid.”

“No,” Bilbo said, taking the shot glass from him. “That’s just alcohol. So, has it started lightening up at home?”

Ori shook his head. “Dori doesn’t seem keen on letting me out of his sight.”

“Is he here?”

“No, but it’s just a matter of time before he gets it in his head to follow me.”

“I doubt your brother would do that. Nori, sure, but Dori?” Dwalin shook his head. “He wouldn’t come to this part of town if his life depended on it.”

“Don’t presume to know Dori. He can be pretty tenacious if he wants answers. He just looks at me like I’m pitiful lately.”

“You told him you fancy men,” Bilbo said. “Given what I’ve heard so far, I feared he’d be one step away from sending you to Bedlam.”

“No. Thankfully no. He only knows that I’ve fancied Dwalin. He doesn’t know that we’re actually together now. Given his reaction to finding out I’m queer, I’d rather _not_ have him know I’m here when I’m not at school.”

Dwalin kissed his hand. “It’ll get better, love. You’ve only how many years before you can move out?”

“Less than one. This is my last year and with my unexpected departure, I wonder if I had actually set myself up for failure.”

“Never,” Dwalin said. Ori managed a small smile.

“Thank you. Unfortunately, running away would just make Dori more suspicious if not downright out of his mind worried.”

“Well, we’ve time to figure something out,” Dwalin promised. “Think you can break away from home for a day or two?”

“Actually, I think so,” Ori said, smiling. “Dori’s got a meeting with a potential business partner in Wales. He’ll be gone a week. I can’t really afford to skip school, but I don’t think Nori will mind if he had the house to himself for the weekend.”

Dwalin smirked. “I see. This weekend?”

“Next weekend, actually.”

“Well, it’s something to look forward to,” he said. Ori stood and kissed him.

“I have to go. See you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

“The two of you are too cute,” Bilbo said, grinning. Dwalin flipped her off and she laughed as Ori headed for the door.

Outside, it was raining heavily. The kind of rain that drenched you head to toe within two minutes. He groaned and pulled his hat over his eyes and turned the collar of his coat up before flagging a coach to take him home.

#

Bilbo poked his head in Frodo’s room and smiled to see him sound asleep. Thorin snaked his hands around Bilbo’s waist and kissed her neck. “Remember when Kili was that little? You did the same thing.”

“Well, I don’t like thinking of our children having nightmares on my watch.” Thorin hummed. Bilbo closed the door and took Thorin’s hands off her waist.

“Come to bed,” Thorin said.

“In a bit,” Bilbo said. “Someone has to close shop.”

“I got it.”

“But—”

“I think I can handle locking a door, Bilbo.”

“Fine.” Bilbo kissed him. “You’ve three minutes.”

“You do _not_ take three minutes to get your gowns off. Ten at most.”

“So you don’t want to help me undress?” Bilbo asked, arching a brow.

“Three minutes, then.”

“And counting. Go. I’ll meet you in our room.”

Bilbo watched him hobble down the stairs, cane in his hand. Once Thorin was out of sight, Bilbo went to the bedroom and began with removing the wig and jewelry before wiping her makeup off. The cloth joined the laundry basket in the corner and she started unbuttoning her sleeves by the time Thorin returned, fingers working the buttons along the back of her dress, pressing his lips against Bilbo’s neck.

“God knows, I love you so much,” Thorin whispered as the dress was removed and Bilbo stepped out of it. Thorin unlaced the corset and Bilbo groaned in relief. “I think we should get you some new corsets if the ones you have keep bothering you so much. We could get them and your dresses adjusted.”

“That might be a good idea,” Bilbo said, putting the corset away and the dress with the laundry. “I’ll think about it.” He pulled the slip over his head and Thorin sat on the end of the bed, massaging his leg.

“Good,” he said. Bilbo grabbed a nightgown and turned to him, brow furrowed.

“Is it acting up again?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you forget to take the medicine?” The way Thorin avoided looking at him was enough to tell Bilbo that he had. “Well, I’ll be right back with it,” he promised, grabbing his robe. Thorin shook his head.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll take it in the morning.” Bilbo frowned. “Really, love. I’ll remember.”

“You better.”

Thorin nodded and pulled Bilbo onto his lap. Bilbo ran his fingers through his beard and kissed him, pushing him down onto his back. From there, Bilbo knelt between Thorin’s legs and undid his trousers, pulling his cock out and closing his lips around it.

Thorin threaded his hand through Bilbo’s hair. Bilbo hummed, shivering when a finger brushed against his ear…

#

Kili glanced out the window and scowled at Fili. Well, that was one thing they had in common: they were ridiculously stubborn. Kili closed the curtains and went downstairs to meet him.

“I told you,” she said, closing the door behind her. “I’m not going—”

“Yeah, I figured. Mother spoke to him. Father was, understandably, devastated. But, he did ask me to deliver this on his behalf.” He handed her a letter. “Read it or burn it, it’s out of my hands.” He stepped back. “I do hope you read it, though. Could be the last you hear from him.”

Fili turned around, hands in his pockets, and headed back to his carriage. Kili waited for it to leave before entering the house again and opened the letter.

She expected it to be…

Well…

She expected to read scathing, hate-filled words. She expected to read anger, disappointment.

With a deep breath, Kili sat down in the parlor and began to read.

 

> _Kili,_
> 
> _Your mother told me you refused to come. I can’t say I blame you or that I’m surprised. All those years ago, I didn’t understand. To be honest, I still don’t. I don’t know why you hated being a boy, but I shouldn’t have tried to force you to be something you do not want to be._
> 
> _When Fili told us who you wanted to be, I won’t lie, I was disappointed and I was scared. I was scared for you. I was terrified that if we let you be yourself, it would backlash. I thought I’d lose you, that you’d be taken away from us if we let you be yourself. You were taken anyway and there is not a day I do not regret how I acted._
> 
> _I am sorry about the trauma you’ve gone through because you decided to be yourself. It was what I hoped to prevent. Maybe it couldn’t be prevented anyway._
> 
> _For what it’s worth, I am proud of the person you have become. You are a very smart individual, from what your uncles have told me. I can’t even imagine the pain you’ve gone through, and I had hoped I’d be able to protect you from it regardless._
> 
> _I know I lost my son a long time ago and I probably should have accepted my daughter. I can’t account for the fear I felt and I can’t say that what I did was right. I still think that you being yourself is dangerous, but it makes you happy and that, above all else, is what I should have been concerned with._
> 
> _I had hoped to see you one last time, Kili, but I should at least say this:_
> 
> _Inspector Gundebad of the Metropolitan Police came to speak with us recently, asking about you. Knowing you’re being hunted, well, it scares me and your mother. We told him nothing. If he knows of Erebor, there is no way to tell._
> 
> _Stay safe, Kili._
> 
> _If you like, Fili is willing to stay there with you and protect you._
> 
> _I failed to be the father you deserve and I am grateful that you found the father you needed in Thorin, even if I am not happy about it. Whatever else you may think, Kili, we do love you and we hope you’ll stay safe in this trial you’re about to undergo._
> 
> _Truly,_
> 
> _~~Father~~ Vili_

Kili set the letter down. She pressed the heel of her hands to her eyes and sobbed. A part of her believed what was written, but another doubted it. Who was to say it wasn’t written by Dis instead? Or Fili for that matter?

She stood, taking the letter to the fire. She halted, holding it up.

 _Not yet_ , she decided. _Not yet._

Kili folded the letter and stuffed it in her pocket before going to the front door. She grabbed her coat and a parasol, needing fresh air. She walked toward the gardens, parasol open and propped on her shoulder. She didn’t know how long she wandered, feeling out of sorts.

It wasn’t till a bag was pulled over her head that she even _noticed_ something wrong.


	18. Chapter 18

“Grab his legs!” A man shouted in Kili’s ear.

Kili shot her leg forward and felt it collide with a leg. She twisted around, stomping, kicking, and clawing like an animal. Two hands seized her ankles and lifted them up.

“Tie them! Damn it, tie them!”

Kili kept kicking, even as a third man pinned her legs and bound them with a cord of sorts. The same man then seized her hands and did the same.

“Come on,” the voice of another man said, close enough that she guessed it might be the third, “Get him out of here before the rest of ‘em run out.”

They carried somewhere, a carriage, she guessed. Once inside, two men flanked on either side, she leaned forward.

“I can’t breathe,” she whispered. “I can’t…”

“Try to,” the man to her left said. The third pulled her up by her shoulder and Kili gasped for air. His hand bumped her side.

“Damn it.”

“What?”

“Idiot’s wearing a corset.”

“And why should we bloody care?” he snapped. “He did it to himself. Let him alone. And _keep_ the bloody bag on.”

After that, Kili didn’t remember. She supposed she fainted at some point.

#

Thorin usually didn’t have the luxury of mornings such as these where he could lie in bed and play with Bilbo’s hair, pulling one curl back and watching it bounce back in place.

Bilbo tightened his hold around Thorin’s waist and the leg wrapped around Thorin’s thigh squeezed as Bilbo tried to get closer. Thorin smiled and moved his hand down Bilbo’s shoulder and back, gently dragging his nails over his husband’s skin.

Or wife’s.

He didn’t know Bilbo’s preference for the day till he was awake. It didn’t seem like it’d happen. Bilbo sighed and his muscles slackened.

“I love you,” Thorin whispered.

“I love you, too,” Bilbo mumbled, opening an eye and smiling. “How long have you been up?”

“Longer than you,” Thorin said. Bilbo twisted his nipple in retaliation. “Ouch!” He batted the hand away and Bilbo kissed the injured breast.

“Too early for wit, love,” Bilbo said.

“It’s never too early for wit,” Thorin muttered as Bilbo untangled himself from the covers. “So, have I a husband or wife today?”

“Husband,” Bilbo said, grabbing his robe. “At least for part of it.”

“Of course,” Thorin said. He didn’t want to get up and not just on account of his bad leg. Bilbo kissed him again. “Do I have to get out of bed?”

“I’m afraid so if you want breakfast.”

“Right.” He sat up and winced.

Bilbo’s smile died and he sighed. “I’ll be right back with your medicine, love.”

Thorin nodded sitting on the side of the bed and massaged his leg, trying to squeeze the pain out.

Bilbo returned, a bag in hand and a pipe. “Why is this in our house?”

Thorin swallowed. “It’s just medicinal,” he promised. “I’m not running off to opium dens. I promise. I swear I’m carful.” He held his hand out for the pipe and the poppy. Bilbo set them on the dresser. “I’m not going to get addicted.”

“Thorin, I would rather have you taking morphine for the pain. Like before.”

“That’s been wearing off. My doctor suggested something stronger. That is all.”

“And going to work after a smoke of this shite? That’s your plan?” Thorin didn’t answer, swallowing. He stared at his hands.

“What else can I do? It’s just getting worse. Harder to move, most days.” Bilbo shook his head. “There isn’t anything else, Bilbo, unless I want to lose my leg just to stop the pain. This helps. It does.”

“And when I have to hunt you down next week, or Dwalin, how will we know you won’t be in an opium den then?”

“Why would I go to one when I can get this legally with a doctor’s note and can come home to a beautiful lover and children?” Thorin asked, he held his hand out. “Come here. Bilbo, I swear it will be all right. I promise it will be, my love.”

Bilbo didn’t come. Instead, he set the pipe and poppy down on the table and leaned against it. “I would rather you lose your leg than smoke this. It’s not worth it.”

“I’m not ready for a wheelchair, Bilbo.”

“We could look into prosthetics. You wouldn’t have to go into a wheel chair then. But _this_ ,” he shook the bag. “I’m not letting you cross that line.”

“And until you find a surgeon willing to cut off my leg? What am I supposed to do about it then?”

“Go back to morphine,” Bilbo said. “Talk to your doctor. Tell him your wife found it and is demanding you get rid of it.” He put the bag back down and approached Thorin. “I know it hurts. And I know that’s my fault.”

“It is _not_ your fault,” Thorin said, squeezing his hand. “It’s Thror’s.”

“But it still wouldn’t have happened if we never met.”

“I would rather have lost _both_ my legs than have to live a lifetime not knowing you,” Thorin said. “I love you. I always will. Please, Bilbo, don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault.” Bilbo closed his eyes, tears slipping between his lashes. Thorin embraced him, kissing the top of his head. “I won’t let it go too far. I’ll talk to my doctor today. All right? I’ll see him today.” Bilbo nodded and bit his lip. “Until then, I have to do something about my damned leg.”

“You’re not smoking opium. Not in my house.”

Thorin said. “I might have some left over morphine in the wash room,” he said.

Bilbo nodded and kissed his hands. “I’ll get it.”

#

Kili woke to cold. And wet. She screamed, gasping. She’d been tied to a chair. She shivered and spat out the water in her mouth, shaking her head.

“He’s awake, Commissioner,” one of her kidnappers—a constable—said.

Kili blinked and looked around, trying to figure out where she was. A station? A clinic? It was dark and only a single gas light was lit above her. A man, tall and broad, approached, stepping in the light.

“Mr. Kili Durin?”

“ _Miss_ ,” Kili spat. “I may have a man’s body, but I am a woman.”

The man—the new commissioner, she guessed—arched a brow. He shrugged. “All right, I suppose I can entertain it.”

“Much obliged,” Kili growled through grit teeth. “Especially given you have nothing to hold me with.”

“Aside from buggery? No, of course not.”

“I’ve not committed buggery. I’ve never slept with a man.”

“That isn’t what one Thranduil Greenwood said.”

“Thranduil? You’re listening to him?”

“What about him?”

“Likely this is his way of punishing me for leaving him. Or did he not tell you? I never slept with him, but he did court me for a while.” Kili smirked. “You didn’t know, did you?”

The commissioner crossed his arms. “How am I to know you are not lying to me?”

“Why would I lie?” she asked. “I’m tied to a chair, drenched, cold. I take it we’re not in London. It’s not even been a day. So that means you’re out of your jurisdiction.”

“You know about that?”

“Getting beaten just for wearing a skirt when you have a penis made me wonder where the police find justification for any of the crimes.”

“So you want to be an officer. You’d have to give up the dress and cut your hair.”

“I have no intention of joining the police.”

“That would be the best way to change it.”

“I couldn’t change anything. It would take _hundreds_ to incite change quickly enough. Maybe more. Maybe thousands,” she said. “It’s far more than one person could do. Besides, even if I were to put on trousers, it wouldn’t change a thing. I would still be a woman at heart.”

“And in your head,” he said, pacing. “And a pity it is, too. You’re a handsome lad. Probably would have had a few lasses swooning, too, were you not…”

“Queer? Strange? Unnatural? I’ve heard it all before. If my uncle finds out about this, I promise you it’ll be the last thing you do!”

This didn’t seem to shake him.

He knelt. “Kili, even if your uncle _could_ do something about this, it wouldn’t change anything. We know about Erebor. We will be raiding it soon.”

“I suppose you will be, given you found me. But you won’t find anything off about it.”

“Won’t find anything off as in?”

“No one there is like me,” she lied. “You won’t find anything.”

“Then there’s nothing for your staff to hide, is there?” He pulled out a key and uncuffed her from the chair. “Your bail was posted an hour ago. Wanted to have a talk before letting you go.”

“Who?”

He didn’t answer, pulling her up and leading her out of the room. Aside from the constables, only one other person was waiting for her:

He strode over to her and placed a jacket around her shoulders. Kili glared at him and clutched at the jacket in hopes of curbing her desire to punch his nose in.

“You said you’d just talk to him, Gundebad! Not throw him in the lake!”

The commissioner shrugged. “He had passed out. Had to wake him somehow.”

Thranduil sighed and led her out of the station to his carriage. “I’ll take you home. To Erebor.” He opened the carriage door. Kili didn’t enter, glaring at him. “Kili, please, don’t fight me. We’ll talk, love.”

Kili stepped closer. “I’m not your love,” she growled before entering the carriage.

The ride was silent and she didn’t call him out when he diverged from the path toward Erebor.

She hadn’t believed him anyway.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahoy! 
> 
> And also some creepy, stalker stuff later.

Ori wasn’t sure what he liked more about spending nights with Dwalin. Waking up enveloped in warmth or waking to kisses pressed to his shoulder. Both had their highlights, after all. Ori twisted around and wrapped his arms around Dwalin’s neck, pulling him into a proper kiss. Dwalin’s hands moved to his hips and his mouth to Ori’s neck, wedging his legs between Ori’s thighs.

“Feeling all right?” he asked.

“Yes,” Ori said. “A little sore, though.”

Dwalin snorted, running his hands over Ori’s thighs. “If I recall, you were begging me to go harder.”

Ori grinned. “I’m aware,” he said moving his hands down to Dwalin’s chest and pushing him over to lay on his back as Ori straddled his waist. “And I’d like you to fuck me again.”

Dwalin’s eyes darkened. He squeezed Ori’s ass and watched him wince.

“Well, fucking you isn’t happening till your bum stops hurting.” He let go of Ori’s ass. “But I can think of other things we can do.”

He rolled Ori back over and reached for the oil, coating his fingers generously before reaching around and fingering himself.

Ori had not thought of that.

Not once.

He had assumed Dwalin preferred to dominate. And while that certainly had been true, he never thought that Dwalin would willingly…

His mouth had gone dry, watching Dwalin rock on his own fingers, biting his lip and eyes dark. At last, he pulled his fingers out and layered Ori’s cock in oil before sliding down on it. Ori gasped, arching his back and latching his hands onto Dwalin’s hips. Dwalin kissed him and rolled them over. Ori rolled his hips experimentally, reluctant and a little unsure. Dwalin’s response seemed positive, so Ori tried again, slow, controlled, and, he hoped, deliberate.

Dwalin panted beneath him, moaning, twisting the fabric of his sheets beneath him as Ori’s confidence built. Ori pulled one of Dwalin’s hands free of the sheets and held it down, his other hand pressed to the mattress on the other side of Dwalin’s head as he kissed him. Ori whined as his orgasm approached, overcoming him before he could warn Dwalin, who arched his back, squeezing around Ori’s cock.

Ori hid his face in the crook of Dwalin’s neck, waiting to come down from his high. It was faster than he thought it’d be and humiliation spread through him. He pulled out and slid down Dwalin’s sweat-slicked chest, hiding under the covers and figured the least he could do was finish Dwalin off to make up for coming so quickly…

He wrapped his hand around the base and closed his lips around the head of Dwalin’s cock and sucked, feeling Dwalin’s muscles tense. He licked at the slit, drawing circles around the foreskin with his tongue. He hummed and Dwalin’s hips bucked up.

Ori squeezed his hip and sucked.

“Ori,” Dwalin moaned.

His hips rolled again. Ori let go of his cock and relaxed his jaw. He continued humming and Dwalin seized his hair, pulling. Ori’s eyes watered, but he kept humming. At last Dwalin came. What did not make it into Ori’s mouth smeared his chin and neck.

He wiped his face as clean as he could before reappearing from under the covers. Dwalin gripped the back of his neck and kissed him, pushing him back down. Ori returned the kiss, threading his hands through the hair Dwalin still had, nails scratching his scalp.

“It wasn’t bad?” Ori asked.

“No,” Dwalin said, pulling his hair again and biting his throat.

Ori pushed him off. “Not the neck! Unless you want Dori—”

Dwalin snorted and kissed him again, biting Ori’s lip and delving his tongue into it, rolling his hips against Ori’s.

“Not happening,” he said, moving to Ori’s chest and marking his stomach. Ori glanced at the clock. It was nearly eight in the morning and a bit of dread started to build.

Were they heard last night?

What about just now?

Were they too loud?

Dwalin moved lower to Ori’s erect cock, swallowing it down.

Ori gasped, shutting his eyes and groaning, all thoughts of being found out pushed to the back of his mind and forgotten as his second orgasm ripped through him, not as intense as the first, of course, but still good enough to leave him feeling loose and pliant.

Dwalin reappeared, laying on his back. Ori turned onto his side and stared at him.

“Do you think we’re being careful enough?”

“Yes.”

“But the walls…”

“Neighbor’s work days. They didn’t see you come over. If they heard us, they would assume I was with a woman.”

“The landlord.”

“Perhaps the last person to judge. He may be a bastard, but so long as I pay rent on time, he doesn’t give a shit what I do. He’s opened his doors to worse sorts than a pair of homosexuals. And trust me, his wife would rather have two consenting adults of the same sex fucking each other than some of the bastards wandering this place.”

Ori bit his lip, frowning. Dwalin kissed him. “I’ll protect you, love.”

“I know. I still worry.”

Dwalin turned on his side, facing Ori and caressed his cheek. Ori kissed his wrist.

“It’s always going to be a risk,” Dwalin said. “The worry never really goes away. You’re always going to be looking over your back. But you’re not alone,” he promised. “I’m here for as long as you want me. I love you, Ori. I want to make you feel as loved and adored as you deserve. You’re not alone in this. No matter what happens, or where we are, I will be there for you.”

He kissed Ori’s hand and pulled him into his embrace. “So don’t be scared, love. I’m here.”

Ori hid his face in Dwalin’s chest hoping to hide his blush.

“I love you, too,” he whispered.

Dwalin kissed his forehead, tightening his embrace. Ori’s stomach growled and he snorted, pulling out of Dwalin’s embrace and kissing him.

“I’m going to clean up and see what we have for breakfast.”

“Can you cook?”

“Erm…not really,” he admitted. “How hard could it be?”

Dwalin grunted and got up. “More than you think. Stay here.”

He kissed Ori and went to clean up. Ori glanced at the clock again.

Eight thirty.

#

Kili leaned against the window, watching the rain, with a lit cigar in her mouth. Arms encircled her waist and she pulled away.

“Don’t,” she said.

Thranduil sighed. “You’re still angry,” he said. “I get that.”

“You tried to buy me.”

“Adopt. Kili, I love you. It was the only thing I could think of—”

“And then you told the Met where to find me. You led them _straight_ to Erebor. Do you know how many people call Erebor home? How many of them consider it a safe place? You’re actions put nearly a hundred men and women in danger. So do _not_ give me crap about being in love with me. You don’t love me. Likely never did.”

Thranduil’s gaze shifted to impassive. “I am sorry about Erebor. I never meant to hurt others like us. But, Kili, there was a time you knew I loved you. Why do you doubt now?”

“Trying to take me from my family might have played a part.”

“They locked you away—”

“No. They didn’t. I did that to myself. I believe I made that quite clear.” Kili leaned against the window, inhaling cigar smoke. “I want to go home.”

“I know you do. But I will protect you from the Met. I can do a better job than your uncles.”

“My uncles have done just fine.”

“Father?”

Thranduil turned to the door and ground his teeth.

“We need to talk. Civilly.”

“I find it difficult to be civil to a kidnapper.”

Thranduil raised his hand as though to strike, but the door opened and a boy walked in.

He lowered his hand and went to the boy. Kili had never met Thranduil’s son. She heard much about him though and by her guess, he was about Frodo’s age. He lost his mother young, and was the treasured heir to Thranduil’s fortune. Legolas stared at Kili, fearful and curious at once.

“Did you just get home from school?”

Legolas tore his eyes away from Kili and nodded. “It was a good day,” he said. “Father, who is she?”

“A friend,” Thranduil said, leading Legolas out. “She’ll be staying with us for a while.” Legolas looked at Kili over his shoulder. Barely any words between them and already Kili could tell that the boy noticed something wrong.

The door closed behind them and Kili snuffed her cigar in one of the ash trays before sitting down and leaned forward, hiding her face in her hands.

_I need to get out of here. I need to get out of here._ _There has to be some way to get away from him._

The door opened and Kili looked up. Thranduil knelt in front of her.

“Please, Kili,” he whispered, kissing her hands. “Please stay. Just a little while. A week is all I ask. If you still want to leave after that, then I’ll take you home to your uncles. But please let me prove my love for you. I love you, Kili.”

Had he always been this creepy?

How had she not felt it before?

“Fine.”

_No._

“I’ll stay a week.”

_In the meantime, I’m going to find a way to get out of here myself._

Thranduil kissed her hands again, then her cheek.

“That is all I ask,” he said, smiling.

Over his shoulder, Kili saw Legolas. She saw the fear in his eyes. Maybe she shouldn’t just leave.

At least, not alone.


	20. Chapter 20

It wasn’t always this bad, Thorin thought massaging his leg. Pumping morphine into his body used to work just fine, but it was getting to a point where he’d need more of it, hence the switch to opium. He hadn’t intended for Bilbo to find out.

At least not yet.

He watched Bilbo from his spot at the bar when the thought of whether falling in love with him had been worth it. Her, actually. Right now, Bilbo was a her. And as far as Thorin could tell, if loving her cost him everything, then so be it. She was worth it then. She is worth it now.

His leg throbbed again and he sucked in a breath. He can’t take any more morphine at this point. And with opium out of the question…he didn’t want to lose his leg.

“How bad is it?”

He looked at Bilbo. “Bad.”

Bilbo kissed his hands. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. But there has to be another option outside of opium. There has to be.”

“And if there isn’t?” Thorin asked. “I don’t want to lose my leg.”

Bilbo stood, straightening her dress and sat at the table before taking his hand again. “It’s given you nothing but pain for years.”

“And we don’t know if cutting it off will get _rid_ of the pain.” Bilbo swallowed and squeezed his hand. “Not everyone survives surgeries,” Thorin added quietly.

“Look at me,” Bilbo said. Thorin obeyed. “You’re right. Not everyone survives surgeries. But you’re strong, Thorin. Stronger than you believe. I’m just tired of watching you be in pain and not being able to do something about it save pump drugs into your body to numb the pain.”

Thorin lifted their hands and kissed Bilbo’s. “I love you, Bilbo. Scared as I am of this, I love you and I can’t imagine living a life without you.”

“If you decide to go through with the surgery, I’ll be there.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I don’t want opium in the house, Thorin. Not where Frodo and Kili might find it,” Bilbo said. “And you know how addictive it is. I’m terrified that if you start smoking it, I’ll end up having to hunt you down to some den somewhere and…there has to be another option if not surgery. And I’m looking for it, love. I don’t know…”

Thorin kissed her. “I love you. We’ll figure something out.”

Bilbo nodded. “I know we will. But sometimes I wonder if we’re making the right decisions.”

“So far we have,” Thorin said. “With each other, with our children.” He sighed. “I want my daughter home,” he said.

“I miss Kili too,” Bilbo said. She kissed his forehead. “In the meantime, how about you have a drink of rum?” Thorin nodded and Bilbo kissed him. “I’ll be back.”

Thorin pulled her back. “I love you.”

Bilbo smiled. “I love you, too.” He kissed Thorin. “Now can I get you that drink?”

“Please.”

“Uh, Mr. Durin, Ma’am.” Bilbo looked at their security guard. In his hands was a telegram. “It’s from Kili,” he handed it to Bilbo, who read it. Thorin watched her pale before she handed it to him.

_Met found Erebor. Thranduil has me. Send help.—Kili_

#

He saw Dwalin across the street, reading a newspaper as Ori finished his classes for the day. He waved goodbye to the others and went across the street, handing over payment for the paper before entering a pub a few steps away. Once he had a table in the corner, Dwalin joined him.

“Bit of a risky place,” he said.

“No more risky than you coming to my school,” Ori countered, smirking. “But I think you know that.” Dwalin shrugged.

“How’s it at home?”

Ori scoffed. “Dori’s been talking about looking into a psychiatrist to talk to me about my…what’d he call it? Right. ‘Unnatural desires.’”

“Could be worse.”

“I know,” Ori said. “At least Nori’s on my side.”

“Is he?”

“I think so. I mean, there’s a big difference between not understanding and not accepting, I’ve found.” Dwalin nodded. “I think I should just consider myself lucky I’m not being shipped to a mad house somewhere.”

A waiter asked if they were ready to order. They declined, save to ask for drinks. Ori wrote on the table upside down with his finger. “I don’t know if he’s going to find out about our niece, but I wish he found that out rather than about me.”

Dwalin stared at his fingers, brow furrowed. “I know. It never gets easier, but maybe someday we won’t have to hide. We won’t be ostracized.”

“I fear that day is not going to come in our lifetime.”

“You never know,” Dwalin said. “It might.”

The waiter returned with their drinks and food was ordered. After he left again, Ori pulled his hands under the table to resist the urge to take Dwalin’s hand in his, swallowing down the need to say _I love you_. And with the way Dwalin stared at him, maybe it wasn’t needed.

#

Fili looked up from his book when the carriage stopped just before the gate to Erebor. He furrowed his brow and stepped out of the carriage. “What’s going on?” he demanded, staring at the constables that had halted him.

“And who might you be, Sir?”

“Filip Archer. This estate belongs to my uncle,” he said. “I’ve every right to venture here.”

“I’m afraid the land’s been seized by the Metropolitan Police.”

“Why?”

“Possible sight of activities of buggery, sir.”

“Buggery?” _Kili_. “Any arrests?”

“Only one,” he said. “The lord’s nephew.”

“Where is he being held?”

“What does it matter, sir?”

“He’s my brother,” Fili said, pushing down his ire. Fighting with a constable wouldn’t get him any favors. “Is he still in custody?”

“No, sir. His bail had been paid a few hours after he was arrested. A Mr. Thranduil Greenwood took him home to London. At least that’s the assumption.”

“Okay,” Fili said. “Thank you.”

He got back into the carriage, directing his driver to take him back to the hotel and prepare to return to London. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a bad feeling about this Greenwood person. He just…he couldn’t put his finger on it.

#

Kili found Legolas playing with a toy bow and arrow, suction cups sticking to the wall and floor. Not one had hit the paper bull’s eye tacked to the wall.

“Hold your arms a little higher,” she said. Legolas looked at her, wide eyed. “You want your arms and shoulders as straight as you can get them, in line with your shoulders,” she said. Legolas adjusted his arms. “Then aim with both eyes open.”

“Why?”

“Because you have a higher chance of missing with one eye closed.”

Legolas looked at the target again, raised his arms, pulled the arrow back and let it fly. It hit the center and Kili grinned. “Quite the marksman you’ll be someday,” she said.

“Father thinks so, too,” Legolas said. “Are you a boy or a girl?”

“I’m a girl,” Kili said. “Even if I don’t look it…”

“Oh.”

“What about you?”

Legolas hesitated. “Boy.”

“Do you not want to be a boy?”

“Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I do,” he admitted.

Kili smiled. “I have an uncle like you. Sometimes I call him uncle, other times I call him aunt. If you want to be both, you can be both.”

“Father said it’s dangerous.”

“He’s right,” Kili said. “It is. But what makes it dangerous is that people who might see you don’t understand. Putting a dress on in of itself is a very simple and innocent act. I wear one because that’s who I am. This is what I like. This is what I love.” Kili leaned forward, holding her head in her hands. “I don’t think your father means to be cruel or overbearing. I think he’s trying to protect you from how cruel the world can be. They think you did something wrong when in fact you’ve done nothing wrong save for disrupt what they see as normal.”

“How do you know?”

“I know because I’ve experienced it,” she said. “I’m a woman, but my body is identified as male, so, by the status quo, I _should_ dress like men. True, it’d be safer if I did, but I’d be lying to myself. No matter what the world thinks, it’s more important to be honest about who you are.”

Legolas nodded. “Why did my father bring you here when you don’t want to be here?”

Kili winced. “You saw us fighting?”

“He was going to hurt you.”

“Does he do that often?” Kili asked. "Does he hurt people? You?"

“Not to me. But our servants had been yelled at a few times and he slapped a maid once. I don’t know why. He’d been angry the last few months.”

Kili hummed. “The last few months, huh?”

“The servants said he’d been courting someone, but he never brought them over.”

“It was me,” she admitted. “I thought I was in love, but then he tried to buy me from my family as though it was something they’d willingly do. I’d never have seen them again. And now that I’m back here and he’s still claiming to love me…”

“Maybe he does.”

“Maybe,” Kili said. “But I don’t love him. Not anymore.”

“Do you love someone else?”

 _Ori_ , she thought. Kili shook her head more to rid herself of the thought that she could be in love with Ori than to deny being in love at all. “No. I’m not in love with anyone.”

The door opened and Thranduil stepped in. Kili stood. “I’ll see you later, Legolas.”

“Will you have dinner with us?” Legolas asked. Kili swallowed. She liked the kid, but his father…

“Of course she will,” Thranduil said, ruffling Legolas’ hair and kissing Kili’s cheek. A slimy chill drizzled down her spine. “Won’t you, love?”

Kili looked at him. “Why not?”


	21. Chapter 21

The best way to handle this situation, Bilbo supposed, was to divide and conquer.

Thorin would head to Erebor to assess the damage done by the Metropolitan Police while Bilbo would go to Thranduil and demand Kili’s return. He had a higher chance of succeeding than Thorin did. Thranduil and Thorin _hated_ each other to proportions even Bilbo couldn’t fathom or understand.

Bilbo squared his shoulders and knocked on Thranduil’s door. A maid opened the door and Bilbo stared at the black eye marring her face. He cleared his throat. “Sorry to bother you so late at night, Miss, but is Mr. Greenwood at home?”

“He’s at dinner with his son and a guest,” she said. Bilbo hummed. The guest had to be Kili.

“I won’t be long, if I may?”

“I’m afraid Mr. Greenwood is very demanding. He doesn’t take visitors this late at night.”

“It’s urgent,” Bilbo assured her. “Tell him a Professor Baggins is here to see him.” She nodded and admitted him inside. Bilbo followed her to the parlor and she offered him a brandy, which he refused. If he wanted to drink, he could do that at home. Right now, he needed to be sober. A few minutes pass before Thranduil entered.

“Professor Baggins.” Bilbo turned to him, arms crossed over his chest. “I take it this is about Kili.”

“Is she here?”

“She is. Willingly.”

“Really?”

“I would not force her—”

“Yes, you would. You have twisted her arm numerous times before. She might have been too young to realize it, but Thorin and I did. She saw sense and you didn’t like that. Where is she?”

Thranduil’s eyes darkened at Bilbo’s accusation. “I love her, Bilbo. The last few months had been…What if you were to lose Thorin? Would you be so quick to deny me my right to be with the woman I love?”

“Considering the woman you loved died years ago, I’m sure you’re very lonely and while I am glad you aren’t as bigoted as most, you have manipulated Kili into being your late wife, or tried to, which you are doing again here and now. You can’t force her to love you or to be someone she’s not.”

Thranduil snorted, shoving his hands in his pockets. “ _I love her_. You and Thorin are the ones who locked her up.”

“Kili made that decision on her own,” Bilbo said. “We supported her, urged her to step out of her comfort zone and lately she had actually _done_ that. Thanks to you, you may have pushed her back into that space where she feels like she cannot move. You have damned not only her, but _hundreds_ of people by telling the Met where to find Erebor. You shouldn’t even have _needed_ to do that!”

“I did what I had to do.”

“No you didn’t. You did whatever it would take to make things difficult for my family. Thorin is on his way to Erebor as we speak to put things right and I will be taking my niece home. One way or another.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Thranduil growled. Bilbo took a step closer. “You don’t scare me, Professor.”

“Many people make that mistake,” Bilbo snarled. “I want my niece, Thranduil, and I am _not_ leaving without her.”

“Or what?”

Bilbo smirked.

One of his favorite heists had been sneaking into Thorin’s room when they were teenagers and their relationship still young. The most dangerous one had been getting Thorin out of Bedlam with Dis’ help. Getting Kili out of a house like this, unfortified as it was, well, it’d be too easy.

“I’ll get back to you on that.”

“Is it so hard to believe she could be here of her own free will?”

“Yes. It’s very hard to believe,” Bilbo said. “Where is my niece, Thranduil?” Thranduil’s lip curled into a snarl. He left. Bilbo had half a mind to follow, but no sooner had he left, he returned, pulling Kili with him by her arm.

“Uncle—” Thranduil pulled her back and whispered in her ear before letting her go. Kili strode over to Bilbo, who led her out of the house.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Kili promised. “A bit shaken, but I’m all right.” They exited the house and approached the carriage. “This isn’t over,” Kili said. “He’s going to keep trying.”

“Is that what he said to you?” Bilbo asked, letting her enter.

“Yes,” Kili said. Bilbo closed the door and rapped his knuckles on the roof. “Where’s Thorin?”

“He went to Erebor to clean up the mess Thranduil made. Hopefully clean up. Sometimes you never know with him…” Bilbo pinched the bridge of his nose. “He bailed you out?”

“More like made an arrangement with the new commissioner,” Kili said. “I don’t know what to do…”

“Leave the particulars to Thorin and me,” Bilbo promised. “We’ll figure it out, love.”

“I don’t know, Uncle,” she said. “I’m scared and I just…I don’t know what to do.”

“Kili,” Bilbo took her hands in his. “Thorin and I will handle it. He is _not_ going to get you.”

“What about his son?”

“Son?”

“Thranduil has a son. I didn’t know till he brought me here. He’s bigender, Uncle. Like you. The son. Legolas. He couldn’t be much older than Frodo.”

“I’m afraid there is very little I can do for him right now,” Bilbo said, massaging his forehead. “Does he hurt him?”

“No,” Kili said. “Not that I can tell, but he seems like a good kid.”

“Kili, we just have to trust that Thranduil is a decent father, even if he isn’t a decent suitor. To be honest, you need a friend more than a lover.”

“I know that now, but is it…also possible to fall in love with a friend?”

“It is,” Bilbo said. “It doesn’t happen often, but it is possible. Why?” He smirked. “Are you in love with Ori?” Kili blushed. “Really…”

“Uncle, Ori’s with Dwalin. He’d fancied Dwalin for years and I’m…well…you know.”

Bilbo blinked, his smile dying. “Kili, you’re a beautiful young woman and you will find love someday. Hey, look at me.” Kili raised her eyes to meet Bilbo’s. “You have plenty of time and opportunity to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I won’t deny that I would not mind if that person ends up being Ori, of course. But even if it’s not, there is no rush.”

“Says the man who met his husband in private school,” Kili muttered.

“To be honest, I didn’t think I’d have met anyone at the time,” Bilbo said. “I was certain Thorin and I would hate each other. He wanted to room with Dwalin, I had requested no roommate so that I could continue to dress however I wished without consequence…not everyone is as lucky, I admit, but still. I think you’re time will come. You simply need to be more patient.”

“And stop falling in love with asses?”

“I happened to like that girl from when you were little, I don’t like that her parents thought we were mad or abusing you.” Kili hadn’t thought of that girl in years! What was her name again? She couldn’t remember. Bilbo patted her shoulder. “How about you take a bath when you get home and we can have a drink after?” Kili grinned. A bath and a pint sounded good.

#

“May I join you?”

Thorin looked up and arched a brow. “Do I know you?”

“Perhaps it’s been a while,” the man said, “But I would have thought you’d recognize your relatives. I’m Fili Archer.” Thorin leaned back. Dis’ eldest. “Might I have a word, Uncle?”

“If you must,” Thorin muttered. Fili sat down.

“It’s about the Met. They’re at Erebor.”

“I am aware. I’m headed there now.”

“They said it had to do with buggery—”

“Not so loud,” Thorin hissed. “Are you daft? People treat love as if it were worse than murder and the new commissioner equates maltreatment of people like me and Kili to ableism. And no, that isn’t better before you ask. You don’t know what it’s like to be incarcerated in an asylum and I pray that you never do. Let’s just hope that growing up gave you a sense of what you should and should not bring up at the dinner table.”

Fili leaned on the table. “I was told you weren’t the forgiving type, but I never thought I’d see it. I was a child and I made a mistake.”

“You almost got your sister sent to Bedlam,” Thorin snapped. “So if you think I’m forgiving then you’re greatly mistaken, Fili.”

“I’m _not_ a child anymore!”

“Yet still spouting beliefs likely fed to you over the years about how men and women like me are unnatural abominations,” Thorin growled.

“I didn’t lead the Met to Erebor.”

“I know that. What I don’t know is what you’re hoping to gain in approaching me or your sister.”

“My father is dying,” he said. “If you love _your_ sister, you will try to forgive us. She risked everything for you before. Can’t you do the same for her?”

Thorin massaged his forehead. “Let me make something clear: your mother has done all she could to protect you and your sister. Your father might not have known that then, but if Dis had _needed_ or _wanted_ my help for anything, she would have already asked.”

“She’s more stubborn than is good—”

“No, you don’t get to decide how stubborn your mother gets to be. You’re damn lucky she is your mother. You need to understand and accept that women are not weak. Your mother least of all. Whatever she’s going through, until she comes to me personally, she can handle herself.”

“What if—”

“Lad, you’re mother’s an adult. As her son, you don’t go behind her back. That’s all I can say.”

“You’re not going to help me?”

“I’ve a full staff of men and women who don’t conform to society’s idea of normal to save before someone slips up and the Met seizes my land. I can’t help, even if I wanted to.”

“Or maybe you can, you just won’t.”

“Fili,” Thorin snarled. “You’re an adult. Nothing bad is going to happen to your mother now that your father is dying. Nothing but a broken heart, not that he deserves her love as far as I’m concerned. It’s not my place to intervene. You’re the man of the house now. You’re the one your mother needs. Not an estranged brother.” He stood. “I wish you luck in that, lad. You’ll need it.”


	22. Chapter 22

Ori didn’t want to enter. If he stepped through those doors, he didn’t know if he’d ever come out again. He could hope and he was certain Dori wouldn’t send him to an asylum. But it didn’t change that he was here and that he was expected to enter.

With a deep breath, Ori pushed the door open and stepped inside a waiting room. It was a dimly lit room with a couple chairs and a table between stacked with magazines. Across the room was another door, perhaps leading to the office, he supposed.

He sat down, tugging at his collar. Ori leaned over, nearly bent double, and clasped his hands together. The door opened and an elderly man stepped out.

“Mr. Rison?”

Ori looked up and swallowed. He stood and approached the man, who let him into the room. The man closed the door behind him and extended his hand out to Ori.

“Your brother told me much about you, Mr. Rison. All good, I assure you.”

“I doubt that,” Ori muttered as he shook the man’s hand. He didn’t seem to hear Ori, but his eyebrow rose slightly.

“You can call me Dr. White,” he said. “Please, take a seat,” he said, motioning to one of the chairs. Ori did so while Dr. White sat across from him. “So what brings you here today?” he asked.

“Aside from my brother thinking there’s something wrong with me?”

“Is there?”

“No.”

Ori didn’t see where this would go, or even if it would do any good for him personally. Especially since this is supposed to “cure” him of his “unnatural desires” if Dori was to be believed. He used different words, but that is what he meant. Ori leaned back and crossed his arms. It hadn’t even been five minutes and already he hated it.

#

He couldn’t really describe the way he entered Bag End after his appointment as “entering.” More like “storming.” Ori sat at the bar and banged his head against the counter.

“Try not to damage my uncles’ house.”

Ori looked up and sighed. “Welcome home, Kili.”

“Good to be home,” she said. “You look like you need something stronger than ale.”

“Have you whiskey? Or rum?”

“Yes, we have them,” she said. “Should I bring out a shilling so you can do a coin toss to help you decide?”

“Which won’t choke me?”

“Both are pretty strong.”

“Good.”

Kili brought out a shilling from the till. “Heads is rum.” She flicked the coin and it landed on tales. “Whiskey it is,” she said, pulling two glasses and setting them in front of them before gathering the drink.

“Are you allowed to do that? Drink?”

“What’s Bilbo going to do to me? Fire me? Besides, I’d like a drink as much as you would. So,” she put the bottle away. “Dare I ask what happened?”

“My brother, oldest brother…he knows that I’m…”

“Oh.”

“He sent me to therapy and I met my psychiatrist today. Came out of it feeling like shit.”

“Then don’t go to the next one,” Kili said. “At least you don’t have any exes stalking you.” Ori paused.

“Are you sure you should be nonchalant about that?”

“Are you sure you know how intimidating Bilbo and Thorin can be? Granted, I’m quite certain that Thranduil is more scared of Bilbo than he is Thorin. Not complaining. Whether he’s uncle or auntie doesn’t matter. He has this certain…smile.”

“Smile?”

“If you ever see that smile, run. Run hard. Don’t look back.”

“I’ll do that, but why is Thranduil stalking you?”

“Hell if I know,” Kili said. “As far as I’m concerned, he thinks he can buy me.”

“Buy?”

“Are you aware that that’s all marriage between heterosexuals is?” Kili asked, a bitter edge in her voice. “The buying and selling of women bodies? Not everyone marries for love, Ori.”

“Wow, I knew you were bitter at times, but there’s no sugar in the world enough to sweeten that.”

“Can’t be bitter when you’re speaking the truth.”

“Some people are able to marry for love.”

“And some can’t marry at all because of who they love,” Kili growled, taking a swig.

Ori drank his whiskey contemplatively. “Probably not,” he agreed. “But does that really stop them from being together? Your uncles love each other and are often described as married.”

“I know,” Kili sighed. “I suppose I’m just…tired of being judged for who I am and tired of being alone, too.”

“Well at least your uncles validate you and encourage you. I only get that from Nori these days and even then I can’t really talk to him about this. Dori can’t even look at me normally anymore.”

“He only knows you fancy Dwalin. He doesn’t know you had your cherries popped by Dwalin.”

“And likely never will and must you?”

“T’is mad to shy away from sex,” Kili said, winking.

“Aren’t you still—”

“Can you keep it down? One unwanted suitor is enough.”

Ori grinned. “I see.”

“What?”

“Someone’s in love.” Kili glared at him. “Is the object of my lady’s desire unavailable?”

“You’re being an arse,” Kili muttered. “But if you must know, he’s definitely unavailable.”

Ori hummed around his glass. “I’m sorry to hear that. Is it a permanent arrangement?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then there’s hope,” Ori said. He finished his glass. Kili stared at her glass, silent. “You don’t think so?”

“I don’t,” she said, grabbing the bottle and refilled Ori’s.

“Is he…”

“No. He’s like us, but…you know what? I don’t really want to talk about it. It doesn’t matter if his current relationship falls apart or not. He wouldn’t see me.”

“Maybe he will one day,” Ori said, raising his glass and drinking. A loud thumping down the stairs startled them and Kili left the bar. Ori followed.

“Bilbo!” Kili shouted, racing over to her and feeling her forehead.

Ori looked around. “Is anyone here a doctor?” he demanded. Kili lifted Bilbo up and carried her to the couch. “Kili—”

“Get Bofur, have him send for Thorin,” Kili said. “You!” she pointed at a patron, “There’s a screen behind the bar. Bring it over here! And you,” she pointed at another patron. “Get me a glass of water. Ori, I mean it, get Bofur! He should be at the door.”

Ori started, jumping like a rabbit and went to the door, explaining to the foreman out front what had happened. He ran off and Ori returned, a wall screen had been put between the couch and the curious patrons. “Kili?” Ori said. “Bofur ran off. I guess to fetch Thorin, but…”

“If he knows what’s good for him, that’s exactly what he did,” Kili responded from behind the screen. “Bilbo should be fine, but she really needs to get new corsets. Or at the very least not tie them so tightly.”

“For goodness sakes, I’m _fine_ ,” Bilbo snapped.

“You just fainted and tumbled down the stairs!” Kili shot. “You’re _not_ fine, Auntie.” Kili poked her head from around the screen. “Ori, there’s an ice box under the bar, could you fill a cloth with some?” Ori obeyed, pushing through the crowd. He spotted Dwalin up front and bit his lip before returning to Kili and handing her the ice.

“What happened?” Dwalin asked. 

“Bilbo fainted coming down the stairs. Bofur went to get Thorin,” Ori explained.

Dwalin approached the screen. “Kili, has a doctor been sent for?” he asked.

“Thorin won’t come back without Oin,” Kili said. “Bilbo, can you stand? Do you feel nauseous at all?”

“I’m _fine_.”

“And I told you you’re not. Dwalin, could you help Bilbo back upstairs?” Kili asked, stepping out from behind the screen as Dwalin went around it. He reemerged with Bilbo, an arm wrapped under her armpit and his coat around her shoulders. Her wig had fallen off at some point and she refused to meet the patrons’ eyes.

Ori didn’t think anyone here would judge. They knew…

He glanced at Kili when she passed by with a bowl of ice. “I’ll be back,” she promised. “Put the screen back before someone decides to do something on that couch that should _not_ be done.”

“Would anyone?”

“I wouldn’t put it past some of this crowd,” she muttered, glaring at whoever remained.


	23. Chapter 23

“Where is she?” Thorin demanded, hobbling to the counter. He looked pained. From his leg or because of the entire situation, Ori didn’t know. Beside him was an old man with white hair and an ear trumpet tied to a leather strap.

“Dwalin took her upstairs an hour ago,” Kili said. “Neither has come down yet. Dwalin didn’t want to leave her alone.”

Thorin limped over to the stairs and climbed, gripping the railing so hard his knuckles were white. The old man followed. Ori sniffed.

“Will Bilbo be all right?”

“I’m sure she just needs to lie down and have her corsets readjusted,” Kili said, sighing. “You know those foolish rumors about women and hysteria?”

“Yes. Are they not true?”

“They’re not,” Kili said. “Bilbo and I wear them and I can tell you right now, corsets are murder on any who chose to wear them. It’s easy to get short of breath and light headed. More so if you’ve an ill-fitting corset…”

She crossed her arms and leaned on the counter, breathing deeply.

“Fainting fits and the like have nothing to do with hysteria and everything to do with corsets, both good and bad. Bilbo passing out like that is cause for worry if I’m not mistaken. You shouldn’t pass out. Even if her corsets are fine, it’d be best if she didn’t wear it so tightly. I did that once. Ended up passing out in the middle of pouring drinks. Never tightened my corset so much since and always made sure it was loosened if it got hard to breathe.”

Ori hummed. “And you couldn’t do that yourself when we went to the opera?”

“Would it have been any less awkward?” Kili asked, grinning. Ori shook his head. “I didn’t think so.”

“Didn’t think what?” Dwalin asked. Ori massaged his forehead and Kili laughed.

“Just a secret between friends,” she said, winking. “Everything all right upstairs?”

“As all right as can be expected,” Dwalin said. “Could use a whiskey though.” Kili grabbed a bottle and a glass. “Thanks, love.” He said, wrapping a heavy arm around Ori’s shoulders. “Not about to faint yourself?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Kili said. “Besides, I don’t think Thorin can take two scares.”

“And yourself?” Dwalin asked Ori.

“That psychiatry appointment went as well as expected,” he said with a forlorn sigh.

“I told him he shouldn’t go back,” Kili said.

“Likely not if it went that badly.”

“It was pretty bad,” Ori said. “And I really don’t want to go home.”

“Then come home with me,” Dwalin whispered in his ear. Ori turned to him, smiling.

“I wish I could,” Ori said. “But Dori—”

“Hang your brother,” Dwalin said, kissing his hand. “I miss you.”

“Oh, get a room!” Kili snapped at them before approaching another patron.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Dwalin said.

Ori snorted and pushed him back. “You could behave yourself, too,” Ori said, standing. “I’ll see what I can do. But if I don’t show, assume that I couldn’t get out of my house or something.”

He kissed Dwalin, threading his hands through the thick, black beard.

“Here’s hoping you get out,” Dwalin said.

Ori nodded and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Bye Kili.”

“Mmhm,” Kili said, not looking up.

Ori frowned, a whisper in the back of his head telling him something was off. He ignored it. If Kili wanted to tell him what was wrong then she would. No point forcing her to tell him what bothered her if she wasn’t ready to share.

#

_You’re an idiot, Kili Durin._

And what a royal idiot she was!

She knew Ori liked Dwalin and she had pushed them to be together. What was the point of falling in love with him now? She huffed and excused herself to see how Thorin and Bilbo faired.

She bowed her head to Oin as he passed by, muttering under his breath. Once in the crowd, Kili went upstairs. Bilbo was not lying down and Thorin’s bad let was elevated as he massaged it, face still twisted in pain.

“Where’s Auntie?”

“Changing into something that won’t require a corset,” he said. “She’s not pleased, but she has a couple gowns that don’t require those blasted death traps.”

Kili hummed. “She’ll be all right?”

“Yes.”

“Um this is a completely different topic, but you haven’t told me what happened at Erebor yet.”

Thorin glanced at her. “Everyone’s safe,” he said. “The met found nothing. Save for yourself, everything is as it should be. But I don’t trust Gundebad. I get the feeling he’s circling us. It’s only a matter of time before he figures out you’re not the only queer one in the family.”

Kili nodded. “I’ll check on Frodo.”

“Thank you, lass.”

She found him in his room reading while munching on an apple. Kili smirked. “You know you’re not supposed to eat in your room.” He gasped and looked around. Kili chuckled. “Relax, I won’t tell them. Are you doing all right?”

Frodo nodded. He didn’t talk much unless it was to Bilbo and while that hurt Kili a little, she couldn’t blame him for being a bit more solitary than usual. “Um…is Bilbo okay?”

Kili blinked and turned to him. “Yes,” she said. “Bilbo will be all right.”

Frodo hummed and went back to his book.

 _Well then_ , she thought. _That was a bit of an improvement, I suppose._

She left the room and approached her uncle. He was still reclining in his chair with the bad leg propped up with Bilbo sitting on the other. Kili hurried back downstairs as to give them some privacy.

She hated this.

She hated feeling so alone.

#

“I love you,” Thorin whispered, kissing Bilbo’s fingers. “And I don’t want anything like this to happen again. I was so scared you might have…”

“I’m all right. I admit I’m a little sore, but I’m all right.”

“You could have broken—”

Bilbo hushed him, tugging his hair through his hands. “I know,” she said. “But I’m all right, love. Promise.”

Thorin hummed, nuzzling her neck and kissing along the column. “Please be more careful. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me,” Bilbo whispered. “You could never lose me, Thorin.” Thorin pressed his lips to the joint where the neck met the shoulder. “I love you, Thorin. I love you so much. And as you can see, I’m all right. Nothing broken, nothing sprained. I count that quite lucky.”

Thorin nodded, releasing a ragged breath as he tightened his hold around Bilbo’s waist. Bilbo kissed his forehead and pulled away, limping a little as she went to make some tea.

“I’m worried about Thranduil,” Bilbo said. “He already kidnapped Kili once. What if he’s willing to try that again?”

“We’ll handle him.”

“I’m not so sure he’s something we can handle.” Bilbo said, putting the kettle over the fire and returning to sit beside Thorin. “Isn’t there something we can do to keep him from our girl?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I wish I could say there was, but outside what we already do, I really don’t know what else we can do to keep him away. We can’t turn to the police anymore. Not with Gundebad there.” Thorin ran his hand through his hair. We’ll figure something out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“All right,” Bilbo said. Thorin finally smiled.

“You don’t believe me?”

“I believe you,” Bilbo said, standing again as the kettle began to whistle. “I also believe that you’ll somehow muck it up. Don’t glare, we both know it’s likely to happen.”

Thorin sighed. “Unfortunately.” Bilbo kissed his cheek and went to make the tea. Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Erebor._

_At least Smaug isn’t around anymore._

Bilbo returned with tea cups. He put one down in front of Thorin. “What are you thinking about now?”

“Smaug.”

Bilbo scowled. “Really? He’s dead, Thorin.”

“You don’t even bother thinking about what he did?”

“What would be the point? I can’t change what he did,” he motioned at Thorin’s leg. “Nor can it be fixed. All we can do is take comfort in that he won’t hurt another person. Not us. Not our children. Not our friends.”

Thorin picked up his tea cup and took a sip. “He could have hurt you.”

“But he didn’t thanks to you. So please _don’t_ worry about what he did. I don’t like dwelling on what he did and you shouldn’t bother doing so either.”

Thorin smiled. “I’ll try, love.”

Bilbo nodded. “That’s all I ask.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead. Rather skip? Go to hashtag.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get out, but he did and he couldn’t relax at all till he was back in Dwalin’s arms. Ori drew his finger over Dwalin’s tattoos while his lover slept.

Dwalin shifted to his side and Ori pulled his hand away and tucked it under him.

“Can’t sleep?”

“A little bit,” Ori said. “I wish I could just stay here. Not have to worry about what Dori would do if he realized I was with you.”

“This isn’t forever.”

Ori sighed. “But it’s stressful…I’d rather have the stress than go on thinking I’m damaged or broken or…”

“You’re not. You never were,” Dwalin said. He tucked a strand of hair behind Ori’s ear and cupped his cheek. “For you to have ever thought that breaks my heart, Ori.”

Ori scooted closer and buried his face in Dwalin’s chest. “I love you.”

Dwalin pushed him onto his back, pushing his knee between Ori’s legs, and kissed him. Ori slid a hand over Dwalin’s chest and shoulders, drawing out a moan from the back of Dwalin’s throat. His other hand was pinned to the bed by one of Dwalin’s. Dwalin let go and flipped Ori over onto his stomach, pulling his pants down and off. Ori bit the pillow as Dwalin shifted between his legs, squeezing his ass and kissing his spine.

Dwalin pressed his pelvis to Ori’s and leaned over him. “Would you let me lick you?” he growled, sending shivers down Ori’s spine. “Can I eat you out till you’re a blubbering mess, hard and leaking for my cock deep inside you?”

“Yes,” Ori sighed, turning his head to face Dwalin, who kissed him before moving off him. Dwalin gripped Ori’s ass, massaging it as Ori relaxed into the touch. He tensed slightly at a firm bite against his left cheek followed by a pinch a moment later soothed by a tongue. He relaxed as Dwalin bit and licked at his skin. He gasped at a swipe against his crack and tensed. Dwalin squeezed his thigh and reached around to cup Ori’s stones as he licked.

Ori’s breathing grew ragged and his cock hardened against the sheet, shuddering as Dwalin’s knuckles brushed against the underside of his cock while playing with his sack. The tongue slid inside and Ori tensed again briefly. A finger stroked at the skin behind his sack and another wave of pleasure left him sighing. A bubbling pressure in his belly growing inside him, steadily, sometimes dying and rebuilding. Ori moaned and shuddered, thrusting down into Dwalin’s hand.

“Dwalin…”

Dwalin bit his cheek again and moved from Ori’s sack to his cock, stroking it a couple times. Ori moaned as Dwalin smeared precome over the head. Ori felt the tip of Dwalin’s cock press to his hole and Ori tensed. “Relax, lad,” he said. “Relax.” Ori took a few deep breaths as Dwalin rubbed the tip of his cock against Ori’s hole, never daring to push in, just tease with the promise of eventually filling him. Ori pressed back and Dwalin chuckled. “Eager little cockslut you are,” Dwalin growled.

“Yes, please, Dwalin, please,” Ori gasped as Dwalin stroked his cock. “Oh God, please, Dwalin. I need your cock inside me _now_.”

“Very eager, then,” Dwalin chuckled, rubbing the pad of his thumb against Ori’s slit. Ori bucked into his hands. “You want me in you?”

“Yes! Fuck damn it, Dwalin! Fuck me already!” Ori snapped. Dwalin hummed, letting go of Ori’s cock to grab a jar of oil on the bed. He kissed between Ori’s shoulder blades before lifting off him to open the jar and warm the oil before pushing two fingers into Ori’s hole. It wasn’t enough. Of course, it wasn’t enough, but it would do as Dwalin stretched him open so that he could fill him. Two fingers became three and Ori bit the pillow to muffle his moans. And then at last, he heard Dwalin curse and the fingers retracted.

Ori used the time to roll over and pulled his legs up to his shoulders. Dwalin stared at him, stunned. Then he smirked and pushed his cock inside Ori. Ori’s back arched and he gripped Dwalin’s shoulders as Dwalin sat up, pulling Ori with him, delving deeper inside Ori, hands gripping Ori’s thighs as he bucked up. Ori kissed him in hopes of keeping their voices down. Dwalin snarled and pushed Ori against the headboard, bucking wildly.

At last, Ori felt himself tip over the edge, his seed spilling between him and Dwalin’s bellies. A few thrusts later, he feels Dwalin’s release inside. Ori relaxed as Dwalin moved them down the bed. Once his back was against the mattress, again, Dwalin stood and shakily went to grab a cloth. When he returned, he wiped Ori clean and kissed his shoulder and chest.

“You good?” he asked. Ori nodded. Dwalin hummed and lit a lamp to check. Ori blushed as he examined Ori’s ass and kissed his spine once assured he’d be all right. “Would you stay?”

“I am staying. You see me nearly daily, Dwalin. Not here, true, but at Bag End—”

“Here is what I mean. Will you stay here with me,” he said. “We both know your brother will never approve, so why care?”

“I’m not in a position where I can earn a steady income. I mean, I tutor Kili, true, but…”

“Think about it,” Dwalin said. “Please?”

“I can think about it,” Ori promised.

He wouldn’t deny that he liked the idea. He really liked the idea of being with Dwalin. He wanted to be with the man of his dreams and he never once thought he could be with him this way. Ori desperately wanted to say yes, but the rational part of him, the logic of it all, he needed to think it through before making any promises beyond thinking about it. His dreams were plagued with it. The idea of the two of them being together like this, living together…he couldn’t see it being more than that: just a dream.

And it broke his heart.

#

“There’s going to be a ball at Erebor,” Kili said, setting her sketchbook down.

Ori arched a brow. “Really?”

“Mm-hm. Just people like us are invited. It’s fun, in a way.” She grinned. “And it’ll be my first time going.”

“So…it’s…your debut?” he asked carefully. He wasn’t sure Kili would have one. But she nodded. “I would like you to be there, Ori. Please? Nori can come too.”

“I’m not sure he’d feel comfortable, but it would be a way to get Dori off our backs for a couple nights I suppose.” Kili jumped up and embraced him.

“Can I give you a definite answer before you get excited?”

“Clearly not,” Kili said, rubbing her cheek against Ori’s. “I’ll give you another hug when you know for sure what you’re planning on doing.”

“Fair enough. Can you stop rubbing out faces together now?”

“No. Never. You’re cute to think asking is enough to stop me.” Ori groaned and pushed her away till she was arm’s length.

“Are you drunk, Kili?”

“No. Maybe a little bit hyper.”

“I can tell,” he said. Ori had her sit down. “How about you finish your sketch.”

“Fine. I will—hey Frodo,” she said. Ori looked at Frodo who stood in the doorway. “Would you like to join us and draw?”

Frodo stepped in cautiously. “Actually I was wondering when Bilbo was coming home?”

“He’ll be back tonight,” Kili said, “Maybe I can help?”

“It’s just I wanted to ask if a friend from school could come over. I don’t think you can help with that.”

“Oh. Yeah. I can’t. You can ask Thorin. He’s downstairs minding the shop.”

Frodo bit his lip. “I don’t really like it down there,” he admitted. “Not when there’s so many people.”

Ori and Kili exchanged looks and set the binders down. “We’ll go with you, then,” Kili said, smiling. “There’s nothing to scared of downstairs.” 

“There’s a lot of drinking.”

“There is, but their harmless for the most part.”

Frodo bit his lip then nodded, taking Kili’s hand in his. The three of them went downstairs and Ori smiled at Dwalin behind the counter as Kili and Frodo expressed Frodo’s question to Thorin. Ori saw him smile and nod before looking at Dwalin.

“Do you know about Kili’s, uh, ‘debut’?”

“Aye. Thorin and Bilbo won’t stop talking about it. They’re rather excited. Of course, it won’t be a _proper_ debut, but it’s still a debut of a sort. Kili deserves it, I think.”

“Same. She invited me and said I should bring Nori.”

“Really now?”

“Indeed. Have you any thoughts?”

Dwalin shrugged. “Up to you. I’ll be there, so if you’re brother’s ready to see you in a relationship—especially with me—go ahead.”

“Honestly, I would tell him first. He would need a warning. Otherwise, I think there would be nothing but disastrous consequences. Besides, I’d rather Nori know than Dori.”

“That’s a given.”

Ori leaned over the counter and kissed his cheek just before Kili and Frodo returned.

“My friend can come over!” Frodo said, looking the happiest Ori had seen him.

“Wonderful! Who’s your friend?”

“Legolas Greenwood.”

Smiles died down and Ori looked at Kili. She was pale, but Frodo didn’t notice, running up the stairs to go clean his room. That couldn’t be good. It wouldn’t be good at all. Kili turned around and looked at Thorin. “I’ll tell him,” she said. “And pray he won’t change his mind.”

“Thranduil won’t come. He’s not fool enough to after he kidnapped you.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him to use this to get to me,” she said striding back to Thorin. Ori glanced at Dwalin.

“I can’t see any good coming out of this.” Neither could Ori.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: in this chapter, there's reference to incest/pedophilia. It'll never show up here, I promise, but that was one of the horrors of this time so it's definitely brought up in this chapter and I would rather you all be aware of that.

“We will handle Thranduil if he shows up,” Bilbo said. “You needn’t do a thing, Kili, if you don’t want to. In fact,” she placed her hands on her hips, glancing out the window. “In fact it might be better if you stay in here till Thranduil leaves.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Kili said, turning a page of _Jane Eyre_.

Bilbo kissed the top of Kili’s head and smoothed her hair down. “It’ll be all right. You liked Legolas, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Kili said, smiling. “He’s a good lad, I suppose.”

“We’ll see.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means Thorin and I don’t know this child and so we are reluctant to have an opinion of him just yet. For all we know he is like his father.”

“I’m sure I can promise that he’s not.”

“It’s often the case that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Bilbo said. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t roll if there’s a hill. We’ll just have to see.” Kili sighed and nodded. “I’ll tell you when it’s safe to come out.” With that, Bilbo left and Kili returned to her reading, easier to do now that she was not distracted. A few minutes passed in blissful silence before she heard a carriage roll up. Kili marked her place and stood, creeping over to the window and peered out. Thranduil had come with his son. Legolas looked excited, at least and she saw Frodo run out to meet him. The boys ran inside as Thorin approached Thranduil.

A few words were exchanged. Thranduil nodded. They shook hands. Kili felt ill. What had they discussed?  _Calm down. It’s likely just about Legolas and Frodo,_ she told herself. Outside her room, the boys ran past, their footsteps pounding on the floor like drumsticks to the drum. Thranduil handed Thorin a small sack and he climbed back inside. She watched the carriage leave and she sighed, relaxing before heading back to her book. Bilbo knocked and stuck her head in.

“It’s safe to come out.”

“I know,” Kili said. “I watched from the window.”

Bilbo’s lips pinched together. “And if he had seen you?”

“He knows I live here, I wouldn’t be surprised. And he didn’t look up. I felt better knowing exactly when he was gone and if he had tried to come in, I could have barricaded my door.”

Bilbo crossed her arms and sighed. “He would have had to get past Thorin and me first. At this point, there is no telling what he’ll do. He’ll likely use this friendship between the boys to get to you. I don’t like that, Kili.”

“I know, Auntie,” Kili said. “Is that all? I’d like to finish this chapter before I have to get ready for work.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s all.” Bilbo turned to leave. “No it’s not: I made an appointment with the tailor. He has a dress ready for your debut and he wants to make sure it fits you well.”

“Okay,” Kili said, smiling. Bilbo left, closing the door behind her. She heard Bilbo shout that dinner would be ready soon if the boys wanted to wash up. Kili sighed and closed the book again, biting one of her nails. She couldn’t concentrate.

#

Nori was silent as he contemplated the offer presented to him. Dori had walked ahead with a business partner and his wife while Nori and Ori lagged behind. “Why invite me?” he asked.

Ori shrugged. “Maybe she’s interested in meeting you again. You accepted us, even if you still don’t understand, so I suppose she wants to thank you. To be honest, I don’t know.”

“Would I meet your beau?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll decline then. It’s better if I don’t know who’s shagging you, I think. Not that I’ve anything against who you’re shagging, I just think the less I know the better.”

“That’s fair, I guess.” Dori glanced behind at them and they grinned, waving. He turned back to their guests and they exchanged looks. “I’ll let them know you’re flattered but decided against it.”

“Fair enough. But you can go enjoy yourself.”

Ori smiled. “Oh, I will. My best friend is having her debut and I’ll be at a ball with my lover. I’ve been to where it’s being held. It’s a beautiful place and I really look forward to it.”

“Well, one way or other, I hope you have as much fun as you’re hoping to have,” Nori said, ruffling his hair. Ori pushed him off and punched his arm.

“I intend to.”

They heard a shout and looked ahead. Dori and the other two had sidestepped a little girl, dirty and in a stained frock with her hand outstretched. Ori didn’t recognize her at first, but Nori ran over to her and knelt. Ori followed.

“Sylvia?” Nori gasped, wiping the dirt off her face.

“Do I know you, Sir?” she asked.

“Yes, Nori, do you?” Dori asked, covering his nose with a handkerchief.

“No,” Nori said, ignoring Dori. “But I know you. What happened to your mother?”

“She died.”

“When?!”

“When was the last time you saw them?” Ori asked.

“Last week,” Nori said.

“Saw who?”

Ori stepped between Dori and Nori. “We’ll explain later,” he promised.

“What about your siblings?”

“They left. They never liked me because I had a daddy,” she said. “I never met him but I always got gifts from him. My brothers and sisters took them, though.” Ori felt white hot anger burn in him. How could her family…It didn’t make sense. “Are you my daddy?”

Nori chuckled. “How else would I know your name?”

Ori took his shoulder. “We should go. Sooner the better. She needs a bath. And food.”

“And clothes,” Dori said. “And _I_ want answers,” he added.

Ori turned to him. “You’ll get them later, okay?”

“You knew about this girl?”

“For a few months,” he said, staring Dori down. Dori glanced behind him. They were gaining a bit of a crowd. Ori turned back to Nori and shook his shoulder. “We need to go.”

He sighed and looked at Sylvia. “Do you trust me, Sylvia?” She blinked and shook her head. “I don’t blame you. But I promise that no harm will come to you. Not ever again. Okay?” She nodded and he held his arms out for her. He was close enough to grab her, but he didn’t. Slyvia embraced him and Nori picked her up.

Ori went to flag a taxi and they returned home. Nori wrapped his coat around Sylvia and she now leaned against him, still wide eyed and afraid, but gradually relaxing. Ori wasn’t sure what to say, let alone do, in this situation and Nori remained eerily quiet through the ride home. When they arrived, Nori explained the situation to Maribeth, who led Sylvia to the wash room. Nori and Ori went to the parlor where they collapsed onto the couch.

“What am I going to do?”

“Don’t look at me,” Ori said. “I’ve no clue how to take care of a child either…but I can ask people who do know.” Nori nodded. “Or you can come with me and ask them yourself.”

“No. No, I think she needs me with her for now. Perhaps I’ll write them a letter and you can deliver it? I take it you mean Kili’s family, right?” Ori nodded. “Yes. I’ll write a letter if you think they can help.”

“They have two children, both adopted. I think they can.” Nori nodded, massaging his face.

“I don’t understand it…how could her siblings—”

“Not everyone has good brothers and sisters,” Ori said, thinking of Fili and how he betrayed Kili’s trust. "

But you know what? It doesn’t matter. She’s safe now and she doesn’t have to live in squalor anymore.”

“True, but Dori—”

“He’ll accept her faster than he ever will me. He’ll be angry a bit, I’m sure, but in the end, he’ll accept Sylvia.” Maribeth stepped in, a bit soaked.

“She’s still bathing, but the worst of the grime is off and that rag she was wearing is in the fire. She’ll have to wear some of Master Ori’s old clothes till she can get a proper dress.”

“Thank you, Mari,” Nori asked.

She smiled. “I’ll make a hearty soup for the lass. I don’t know how long she’s been on the street, but the sooner she eats the better. We’ll start with something that can easily be stomached.”

“I am forever in your debt.”

“No debt,” she said. “T’is a good thing you did, Master Nori, taking the girl off the streets. Horrid things happen to pretty girls if I dare say so myself.”

Nori blinked. “I would never hurt her.”

“I never said you would.”

“You insinuated as much.”

“Maribeth, she’s his daughter,” I said. “Why would he even _try_ to hurt her?”

Maribeth glanced at us and shook her head. “Men are naïve,” she said. “So naïve.” She left before they could demand an answer.

Ori cleared his throat. “If you want to write that letter, I’m going over tonight. I can wait till it’s ready.”

“Yeah, I think I should go write it. That and figure out what I’m going to tell Dori. Honestly, Ori, could you deliver it tomorrow, instead?”

“When I can go over now and maybe get a spare dress or two from Kili?”

“Point taken,” Nori said. “I’ll go write that letter.” He stood and went to the office. Ori pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering _how on earth_ they were going to take care of a little girl.


	26. Chapter 26

Explaining to Dori who Sylvia was had taken a little time, many arguments, and some getting used to. But after a few days, she had attached herself to Dori who had a habit of mothering her. Ori’s only relief in that was that he was finally not paying as much attention to him, so when he brought up that he would be leaving London for a few days, Dori simply waved him off and told him to enjoy himself.

And so Ori once again had the chance to look on Erebor, excitement rushing through his veins almost as much as it did through Kili’s, who bounced in her seat with excitement. She had admitted that she wanted to show off her new gown, but had decided against it as it was going to be a surprise for the following night when the ball would take place.

The servants ran about cleaning the manor of dirt, dust, and debris. The lawn was freshly cut, the garden de-weeded, and from the kitchen, sweets were already being stored in ice boxes for the following night, as dinner would not be made till the day of.

Ori finished settling into the room he would share with Dwalin when Kili entered, announcing that Bilbo had wanted Ori and Dwalin to join them for tea. He followed Kili to the gazebo and arched a brow when he saw Bilbo had dressed in trousers and a jacket.

“I thought you preferred lady’s wear,” he said.

“Yes, well, sometimes it’s best to give it a break,” Bilbo said, sitting beside Thorin. “Plus I don’t have to worry about another fainting accident.”

“Which I prefer,” Thorin said. Bilbo turned toward him and they exchanged a kiss. Kili and Ori sat down across from them. She poured Ori a cup of tea and handed it to him. He thanked her and took a sip while they waited for Thorin and Bilbo to stop being in their own world. Ori wouldn’t admit it, but he felt a little uncomfortable.

Kili glanced at him and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, we were wondering if you’d be willing to be Kili’s escort tomorrow night.”

Ori blinked, cup halfway to his lips. He set it down on the table. “Me?”

“If you like,” Bilbo said. “We trust you and we like you. It would mean the world to us.”

“And it’s either your or Fili.”

“Fili’s coming?” Kili asked, paling.

“And your mother,” Thorin said. “We talked and I figured it would be best to let the past be past.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” Kili accused, narrowing her eyes. Thorin arched a brow and set his cup down. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat.

“He’s your brother, and she is my sister,” he said. “Now that your father has passed, your mother has had the chance to explain a thing or two to Fili. He doesn’t understand entirely, I’m sure, but he realizes that he erred. And if I may add, I had missed Dis. We both did.” He took Bilbo’s hand in his. “We agreed that it was time to let go of this grudge and move on.”

“We weren’t sure you were ready to do so yourself, so we decided to ask Ori if he’d be willing to escort you in Fili’s place,” Bilbo said. Ori bit his lip and glanced at Kili, who was blushing.

“Well…um…goodness…” Ori said, blushing. He cleared his throat. “I guess so. I mean, yes.”

“Excellent!” Bilbo said. Ori picked up his cup. “And I took a glance at your brother’s letter. I’ll have a response for him later today and send it with the post tomorrow morning.”

Ori nodded, hiding behind the tiny china cup. He couldn’t look at Kili. He knew he was being ridiculous and that he should consider it an honor to escort her at her debut, but…somehow he felt there was more to it than a simple walk down the stairs. A deeper meaning of a sort.

He glanced at Kili. Her cheeks were still pink and he couldn’t help but say it was cute. The rest of tea went by quietly and more awkward than he’d like it to be—not that Bilbo and Thorin noticed. If they did, they hid it excellently.

#

“I don’t understand why they want it to be me,” Ori said that night as Dwalin climbed into bed beside him. He lay on his side, propped up by an elbow, and stared at Ori. “Couldn’t one of them do it just as well as I can if they don’t want it to be Fili?”

“I think it’s a great honor. It’s saying they trust you with her the guard her virtue, which is usually an honor granted to the father or brother.”

“So they see me as a brother-figure to her?”

“Likely.”

Ori stretched, arching his back. “I guess I can accept that.”

“Hey, you took her to the opera, went shopping with her, you spend time with her. Of course they trust you with Kili. More than they do Fili, anyway.” Ori slid further under the covers and turned to face Dwalin. “They love you, Ori. They trust you. We all do, and so far we’ve been better for it. I know I have been.” Ori blushed as Dwalin stroked his cheek. He nuzzled closer to him.

“I love you, Dwalin.”

“And I love you,” Dwalin replied, cradling his head and kissing him. “You’ve a big day tomorrow.”

“I know,” Ori said, “goodnight?”

“Aye.”

With that, Ori closed his eyes and relaxed in Dwalin’s protective embrace.

#

Ori smoothed down his jacket before grabbing a pair of white gloves. He glanced in the mirror, glaring at his hair, and with a sigh, left the room. Each step felt like lead weight had been tied to his ankles and his heart beat furiously.

“You look good.”

Ori squeaked and turned around. Fili arched a brow. “Shouldn’t you be in the ball room?”

“Mother thought I’d escort Kili. Apparently, that was not what Bilbo and Thorin wanted. They’re working it out right now in there,” he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder at a shut door. “So you might as well wait with me.”

Ori huffed, crossing his arms. “Do you care if I escort her?”

“Not particularly,” Fili said. “But she is my sister.”

“And she trusts me more. I think that matters to her uncles more than it does anyone else. They want her to feel safe, and if she doesn’t feel safe with you, well, I think that’s her decision to make and theirs to honor.”

“And does she feel safe with you?”

“I like to think so. Kili’s a dear friend.” Fili arched a brow. “What?”

“Just a friend?”

“I have a lover, thanks,” Ori huffed, glaring at him. Fili snorted. “Now what is it?”

“Nothing. Just surprised that you could possibly be that naïve.”

Ori was about ready to make Fili explain when the door opened. Bilbo stepped out and glanced at them. She had donned a red and black ball gown with a black collar with a red rose pendant around her throat. Bilbo arched a brow. “Is everything all right here, lads?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Ori said.

“All right. Fili, it’s been decided that you’d stay with your mother. Ori, Kili is still waiting for you. She’s a couple more doors down.” She winked. “Have fun.”

Ori glared at Fili once more before walking to Kili’s room and knocking on the door. “Kili, it’s Ori.”

The door opened and Tauriel stared at him. She gave him a one over and nodded. “At least you’re ready. Kili will be out in a minute.”

“Okay…” The door shut in his face and he blinked. What was that about? He stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited…and waited…he knocked again and almost rapped his knuckles against Kili’s nose. “Oh! I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t hit me,” she assured him, smiling as she smoothed down her ivory silk and gold chiffon gown. She had pearls in her hair and a diamond necklace. Ori smiled and offered his arm.

“Good,” he said. “I would hate to ruin your night so soon. You look beautiful, by the way.”

Kili’s grin widened. “Thank you,” she said, looping her arm around his. “You look dashing yourself. Has Dwalin seen you yet?”

“Nope,” Ori said. “Not that it matters, he’s running security tonight rather than attending. He told me to enjoy the night with you.”

“But you wish he would join us.”

“I do,” he sighed.

“Well, I suppose I’ll just have to do, won’t I?” Kili asked, winking. “Don’t worry. I won’t ask you to help adjust my corset this time.”

“Dear God, woman, are you ever going to let me live that down?”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

They joined Bilbo and Thorin. “Ready?”

“Yes,” Kili said, squeezing Ori’s hand. Bilbo cupped her face and kissed her forehead. “Auntie…” she protested lightly before being hugged.

“You have become such a beautiful woman, Kili. We’re so proud.” Bilbo kissed her cheek. “Okay. Let’s go. This isn’t a proper debut, of course, but it’s as close to one as we can get. Good luck, you two.”

Thorin cleared his throat and Bilbo rolled her eyes. “Such a worry wart over nothing,” she said. “You know without me, you’d lose your way going to the kitchen.”

“My sense of direction isn’t that bad.”

“It can be.” They disappeared behind the curtain and Kili took Ori’s arm in hers again. On the other side of the curtain, Thorin greeted the guests.

“Ready?” Ori asked. Kili nodded, having gone pale. “I got you if you faint. But please don’t.” Kili giggled and kissed his cheek.

“No promises,” she said.

“I am honored to introduce our niece and heiress,” Bilbo said. Ori and Kili approached the curtain, “Lady Kiliana Rebecca Archer-Durin.” They stepped through the curtain and Ori squeezed Kili’s hand as he led her down the stairs into the applauding room.

“I didn’t know you’re middle name was Rebecca.”

“Actually it’s Robert, but I changed it to Rebecca,” Kili said, winking at Ori. “You don’t like it?”

“No, I like it. I like it more than Robert, anyway.”

“Good.”

With that, they were busy being introduced to the guests. Dinner was a time spent deciding who would be on Kili’s dance card and socializing.

Other than Fili, Thorin, and Ori, her card remained blank. Bilbo made a few suggestions, but for the most part, Kili wasn’t that interested and decided that saving the first three for her family and best friend was good enough. If anyone wished to dance with her, they may ask her.

“I suppose it will have to do,” Bilbo said, exchanging a glance with Dis. Ori spotted Dwalin on the balcony and smiled at him. Dwalin winked and disappeared into the night.

A servant announced that the dancing would begin momentarily and they filed into the ball room once more. Ori handed Kili to Thorin and watched as they opened the dance. One by one, they were joined on the floor and Ori found his way to the background as couples of all sorts blurred together. The song changed as did partners. Kili found him and dragged him onto the floor as the musicians struck a waltz.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not enjoying yourself?”

“Oh, I am enjoying myself,” Ori promised. “But I also never did find _much_ enjoyment in parties and balls. Mostly I come for the food.”

“Well I can’t blame you then. Dinner was superb.”

“Indeed. Now, do I address you as ‘Miss Durin’ or ‘Lady Durin’?”

“I think Miss Durin will do fine for now, Mr. Rison.” she said. “And after tonight, I can absolutely promise that I prefer to call you by your Christian name.”

“Same.”

The dance ended and he kissed Kili’s hand. “Enjoy the next dance.”

“Thank you—”

The doors burst open, causing an outcry when the police swarmed them. Ori hid Kili behind him (or rather tried to) as Azog Gundebad stepped into the ball room.

* * *

 

<https://40.media.tumblr.com/0ba2a1cbbe43fd917a9dab4ef65bf51e/tumblr_nmb3unD7Hd1swhcebo1_500.jpg>

Kili's Debutante Dress


	27. Chapter 27

Thorin stepped forward. “Commissioner, I demand to know the meaning of this!”

Gundebad arched a brow and stuck his good hand in his coat pocket, handing Thorin a slip of paper. Ori noted how his pallor changed reading it. “The investigation on the accusation of buggery committed at this location is still ongoing. I thank you, Lord Durin, for your assistance.”

“You lured us,” Thorin growled, crumpling the warrant, “like mice to poison.”

“I did what I had to do for my job. It is nothing personal. Admittedly, there is more here than I dared expect. It is unfortunate.”

“What is unfortunate is your ignorance,” Bilbo said, stepping forward. “And that you would find someone who is only different unfit a parent compared to a pair who is not only greedy, but shrewd and abusive. Is homosexual really the worst thing a person can be? Is it really worse than manipulative or cruel or vindictive? Why are we, who have done nothing to warrant hate, lumped together with murderers and criminals?”

Gundebad approached Bilbo, arms behind his back. “You were good at tricking me into thinking you weren’t queer. Quite the actor this one. For a moment, I had almost thought you were a woman.” He reached out to touch Bilbo and Thorin’s cane came down on his hand.

“Get away from her,” Thorin snarled, stepping between them.

“So you two are…” the corner of his mouth twitched, “Interesting. But it explains Kili’s dilemma.” He turned toward Kili, who clutched at Ori’s arm tightly and tried to hide behind him. A little difficult as Kili was taller than him.

“I wouldn’t call it a dilemma,” Dis said, stepping toward him, gown sweeping around her. “Kili is my daughter and I had sent her to my brother to protect her from her father, who wanted to send her to Bedlam. If you think that the asylums are safe and humane, then I suggest you stay in one for a night. It was in an asylum that my brother’s leg was broken and it never healed properly. For weeks after Bilbo and I got him out, he had nightmares though he only stayed there no more than a week. They don’t help. Kili grew up happy and healthy because of my decision to have them raise her. Your ignorance will do nothing but destroy. That’s all ignorance ever does.”

Gundebad hummed, staring at Dis. “Nevertheless, as long as buggery is considered a crime, it is my job to uphold the law.”

“And what crime has been committed here?” she demanded. “It is a ball. A dance. A celebration of my child’s progression into adulthood. Kili is smart and she is strong. I am proud to call her my _daughter_. Is anyone indecent? Naked? No? Then there is no crime. You see men in gowns and ladies in trousers. I see people, unique and beautiful and worthy of respect. As you say, buggery is a crime, but what is buggery compared to rape, murder, and abuse? The only crime here is your ignorance and your hate.”

“Madam—”

“I will not stand still and be silent in this madness anymore,” Dis declared. Ori felt chills go down his spine as this woman stood her ground against the police. Her back straight and donned in a black gown, her black hair streaked with white of age.

This wasn’t a widow. This was a mother at her finest. To know the strength of a woman and see it was a sight rarely seen and little appreciated. Ori was at a loss for it and from the way Gundebad stared at her, stunned, he was just as lost at how to deal with Dis.

There was anger on his face, and there was confusion. As a man, he knew he could overpower her, but here? In public? No. Ori guessed it’d ruin him, perhaps cost him his job. And Dis knew it. He would have to debate with words or risk social disgrace.

Gundebad swallowed. “Madam, I apologize if you find my job distasteful, but it must be done.”

“There is no crime,” Dis said. “You walked in on a party. Crashed it and tried to use it as a means to ruin my daughter’s debut. And I will not have it. The Metropolitan Police has done enough damage to my family. I want you all gone before I really lose my temper.”

“Oh dear,” Thorin mumbled. Bilbo patted his shoulder.

Ori leaned over to Kili. “She hasn’t lost it yet?”

“If she hasn’t yet then I want to see that,” Kili said. Ori shook his head. He couldn’t agree. For some reason the idea of seeing Dis angry made him think that it’d be wiser to, well, duck for cover.

“Madam, I advise you to step down,” Gundebad said.

“And if I don’t?” Dis snarled. He sighed and seized her arm, turning her around and pulling manacles out of his belt. The uproar deafened Ori as the entire family—save Fili—was arrested for buggery and sympathizing with homosexuals. It was, honestly, an idiotic claim and Ori was furious enough to punch a constable’s nose in when they tried to grab Kili.

He was pinned down to the floor as his hands were bound behind his back. He saw Fili take Kili’s arm and lead her away during the chaos. Good. Kili would be safe. At least he hoped so as Ori was led away.

#

“Last time we got arrested…weren’t we in our twenties?”

“Yes, Bilbo.”

“I thought so.”

“That was before Dain became commissioner, remember?”

“I do. Yes.”

Dis sighed, massaging her forehead and glanced at her brother. “Never thought this would happen again.” Thorin snorted and Dis smiled. “It’s been far too long, Thorin.”

“Same, Dis.”

A guard banged his baton against the bars. “No talking.”

He turned his back and Bilbo stuck her tongue out at him. She moved closer to Thorin and took his hand. Thorin kissed it and whispered in her ear.

Ori, on the other hand, pulled his legs up to his chin and his face between them, hiding. He knew he was afraid and he was trying to hide it. The tale of what happened to Kili raced through his head. What would become of him now that he was here? True, he was not alone, but he couldn’t help but imagine that if given a chance, he’d be beaten by the police.

And for what?

For nothing.

Nothing but being at a party for a trans-girl who was his friend.

A hand touched his knee and he looked up, gasping. Bilbo smiled. “How are you holding up?”

“Um…okay, I suppose,” Ori said.

“The first night is usually the most frightening, but compared to most, yours is quite tame. I got a black eye and a broken rib.”

“Broken nose, collar bone, and two or three ribs,” Thorin said. “That we’ve not been attacked is an improvement, though.”

“Indeed. At least we can say Gundebad’s doing something right.” Ori hummed and looked down again. Bilbo sat beside him and embraced him. “Don’t worry, lad. You’re doing just fine.”

“But…my brothers…”

“I think Nori won’t mind. It might be another thing that bonds the two of you together,” Bilbo said. “He seems like the sort that has gotten into a few scraps as a lad himself.”

“Yeah, a bit. He has to clean his act up now.”

“Yes, he does, what with his little girl and all. What was her name again?”

“Sylvia.”

“She sounds like a fair maid.”

Ori smiled meekly. “She likely will be,” he said. “She has pretty red hair and her face has many freckles. A lot of people don’t find that beautiful, but she is a Rison for sure…she’ll be beautiful.”

“She’ll be strong,” Dis said. Ori looked at her. “Just as you are strong. Thank you for defending my daughter. She needs more people who will defend her. She can’t rely on just herself.”

Ori hummed and looked down. “I’m not strong.”

“But you are. And she loves you.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think you do,” Bilbo said gently. Ori blinked. “I know you’re in a relationship, Ori, but sometimes the people we are meant to be with aren’t the people we expect.” She glanced at Thorin, who smiled gently at her.

“What do you…I’ve always loved Dwalin.”

“I know,” Bilbo said. “And as much as I care about Dwalin, sometimes I find him…questionable. I wasn’t going to say anything, but it pains me to see my niece pining so. Kili is in love with you, Ori.”

Ori blinked, gaping at Bilbo and feeling very confused. Kili? In love with him? She…he couldn’t think it a good idea. “I…uh…I don’t think she should pursue a romantic relationship. I see her as a friend.”

“She needs to know there are those who will not use her or prey on her.”

“She does know that. But I don’t think I’m the one to show her what that is like.”

Bilbo hummed. “Perhaps not, but I couldn’t think of anyone better for her. We trust you and you should know that if you and Dwalin don’t work out, well, we’ll see.”

Ori nodded. He couldn’t imagine what this new information would do to his relationship with Kili. He hoped he could still act…normal around her. He didn’t want to lose her friendship because of this.

#

“Here,” Fili said, handing Kili a blanket. “Are you okay?”

“As okay as I can hope to be,” she said, wrapping it around her shoulders. “Thanks.” Fili nodded. “You probably think we’re mad, but it’s either this or really go mad with lying to ourselves and denying who we are.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know I’m the reason you had to go, Kili.”

“Yes, but at least because of it, I managed to be myself and grow up healthy because of Bilbo and Thorin.” Fili hummed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “It could be worse, I suppose.”

“Perhaps.”

“That red head.”

“Ori.”

“Yeah. Is he your…”

“No,” Kili sighed. “He’s with Dwalin.”

“Ah.”

“Why?”

“Nothing, just…he defended you pretty violently before he was arrested.”

“We’re just friends. He sees me as a little sister, likely.”

“But you wish he didn’t.”

Kili didn’t answer, clutching at the blanket around her. “No,” she said. “I wish he saw me as more than that. But that doesn’t mean I’m without suitors. Just…unwanted ones.” She chuckled. “I guess that makes me a fool, doesn’t it. Having people who want me and wanting those who don’t.”

“I don’t know about that. I think you’re smarter than most people think. You’re stronger than I thought. Well, until Mother and our uncles get out, you’ll just have to stay with me. Maybe I’ll beat up a couple of those unwanted suitors.”

Kili smiled. “I would like that. Thank you.” She stood. “We shouldn’t stay here.”

Fili nodded and offered his arm. “Let’s get a cab and go home.”

“And where is home?”

“Well, I don’t think it’d be safe to go back to Bag End.”

“No. But we still need to get Frodo.”

“Then let’s get Frodo and go.”

Kili nodded and together they left Erebor in the dead of night. Where they would go, she hadn’t a clue.


	28. Chapter 28

To see Dori marching toward him filled Ori with more dread than he thought possible. The door to the cell opened and he stepped out, following his brother out of the station without a word between them. Once in the carriage, Ori swallowed.

“Um, Dori.”

“Not a word,” Dori said. “It will wait until we are home.” That did not sound good and the rest of the ride home only filled Ori with more and more dread for when they would be home.

Once back, Ori followed Dori into the parlor and Dori grabbed himself a drink before he sat down. “You were arrested for buggery, I hear.”

“Those are the charges yes. And for assaulting a constable.”

“Did you commit it?”

“I did not sleep with anyone, if that’s what you’re asking. There were no orgies; or whatever else is running through your mind. It was a ball. It was a debutant party for a friend who happens to be a trans-woman and she deserved to have a good evening without police interference.”

“Ori…”

“I should have been arrested for just assault. I punch a constable because he tried to grab my friend. So they arrested me and really, Dori, you’re upset because I was arrested for _buggery_? Are you sure that’s really the biggest issue here.”

“Ori, I sent you to a doctor to try and get you help for this problem.”

“There is no problem. I am fine just the way I am. Nori can accept me for who I am. Why can’t you?” Ori leaned forward. “Because you don’t think it’s natural?”

“Ori…”

“I don’t find women attractive, all right. I never did. And all that happened since meeting Kili is that I know who I am now and I am in love with Dwalin and Kili’s uncles are the greatest mentors I could ever ask for. They are also very good parents who love Kili and their little nephew, Frodo.”

“Ori…”

“I won’t be silent anymore about this. Yes, I’ve slept with a man. Guess what: I love that man. He’s everything I wanted and he is good. If falling in love is wrong, then what kind of world is this?”

“It is not falling in love that is wrong, it is who you are in love with.”

“Why? Why does it matter? There’s three of us. Nori has a daughter. He had her out of wedlock and you’re okay with her. I won’t even be able to have children of my own, out of wedlock or otherwise. But I don’t need a child. I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone dear to me. Dwalin makes me happy. Why can’t that be enough for you? Because it’s not socially acceptable? Look around! No one cares, Dori. No one who matters cares.”

“I’m your brother and I care.”

Ori sighed, feeling as though a part of him was ripped out. “Give me an hour then.”

“What?”

“I’m not staying where I’m not welcome,” Ori said, standing.

“So you’re just going to leave? Where will you go?”

Ori glared at him. “And I should tell you, why?”

“You’re being overdramatic, Ori. You’re sick. That’s all. I don’t want to send you to a hospital better equipped to handle this.”

“Now I really have to go! They don’t handle anything! Have you ever been inside a mental hospital? No? Don’t talk about what you don’t understand, Dori. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you can’t accept me for who I am, we aren’t brothers.”

Dori stared at him, shocked. Ori turned away and ran up the stairs to gather what he could. He wondered if he was being a bit…brash in some way. Perhaps he was, but he couldn’t stay in a place where he wasn’t accepted for who he was. And clearly he wasn’t accepted here anymore.

#

Kili had not been in this house for years. It had changed somewhat since. The draperies were different from before and the furniture was different, but the memories were still the same.

Memories of good times and bad times.

Memories of anger and of joy. Sadness. Pain. Frustration.

It was all here.

“He’s sleeping well enough, but still wants to know when he’ll see Bilbo again.”

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to get them out.”

“We will try,” Fili assured her. Kili sat down, massaging her forehead. “Are you hungry?”

“A little bit.”

Fili offered his hand. Kili stared at it for a moment before taking it and following him to the kitchen. “I’m no cook, but I think we have some bread still…yes. Let’s see what else…”

While he looked, Kili sat at the table and placed her hands on the wood, staring at them. “Mother’s not here, so whatever you want to say to me, go on and say it.”

Fili looked at her. “I don’t have anything to say to you. Not about this and not about anything.”

“You hate me.”

“I never hated you, Ki. I was ignorant and naïve and misled. That’s all. I know better now. I know it doesn’t really change anything that I did, but at the very least can you trust that I don’t want to fight anymore?” Fili sat down and took her hands in one of his. “Kili, I missed you. Had I known that I would have lost you I would have kept my mouth shut. I thought for years that you were sick. Just like father did. We didn’t know better. Mother did and I only regret that we didn’t listen to her sooner. Okay? You used to mean everything to me. I know we can’t go back to that, but I would like to be part of your life again, if you’d let me. I should have accepted that I had a sister instead of try to hold onto a brother I didn’t have.”

Kili looked up and met his gaze. “Fili, I’m not ready to forgive you yet. I can forgive Mother, but you? You’re the one who set in motion my leaving to live with our uncles. Okay?”

Fili nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Too little, too late. Once we get Bilbo and Thorin and Mother out, I’m going back to Bag End with Frodo.” Fili nodded, bowing his head.

“I’ll make that sandwich for you if you still want it.”

“Well I’m too hungry to turn that down. But that’s a better start than saying ‘I’m sorry.’”

“Really? All I have to do is feed you?”

Kili grinned. “Food, I have learned, is the best way to find forgiveness and reconciliation.”

“Fair enough. I can accept that.”

#

Ori set his bag on a chair in Dwalin’s flat before falling onto the bed and sighing, staring at the ceiling. He heard the door open and did not look to see who it was. He knew it was Dwalin the moment he sat onto the bed.

“Are you okay?”

“Relatively,” Ori said, looking at him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” Ori said turning onto his side. “Will you kiss me?”

Dwalin cupped his cheek and leaned down to take Ori’s lips. He pushed Ori onto his back and slid his knee between Ori’s legs. Ori’s arms locked around Dwalin’s neck for a few moments before he moved them down his chest and unbuttoning Dwalin’s shirt.

“Will you take me?” Ori asked between kisses. “I want you inside me.”

Dwalin growled and nipped at Ori’s neck. “What do you want me to do?” he asked. “Tell me.”

Ori swallowed and wrapped his arms around Dwalin’s neck again. “I want…I want to undress for you. I want to sit on your lap, naked and in need for you inside me. I want you on your back as I prepare myself for you. I want you to watch but not touch until I tell you to. And when I am ready for your cock, I will undress you, my love, and worship you before sliding down on you till I cannot take more of you in me no matter how much I wish it. I want to ride you till I can’t move and you’ll have to take over. I want you to mark me as yours. I want you to take me so hard, I can scarcely walk tomorrow.”

Dwalin rolled over onto his back, allowing Ori to straddle his waist. “Make good on that promise,” Dwalin growled, canting his hips upward. “Show me how much you want it.”

Ori grinned and pecked his lips once more before climbing off Dwalin’s lap. He stripped his clothes off slowly, swaying to music only he could hear, eyes fixed on Dwalin, who rubbed his clothed cock through his trousers. Once the last piece of clothing fell to the floor, Ori approached Dwalin and pushed him down onto his back.

“Where’s the oil?” Ori asked, running his hand through Dwalin’s chest hair. Dwalin reached over and grabbed a vial, handing it over to Ori, who opened it and coated his hand in the liquid. “Hold it for me and stay still,” he ordered. Dwalin swallowed as Ori pressed a hand against his shoulder and lifted his ass off Dwalin’s lap to reach around and stick a finger inside.

Slowly, he stretched himself as wide as he could, cock hard and leaking over Dwalin’s belly. He could feel, vaguely, the pressure of Dwalin’s cock still confined by his clothes brushing against Ori’s testicles. He managed four fingers before deeming it enough and slipped off Dwalin’s lap again to pull his trousers and pants off.

Ori gripped the base of Dwalin’s cock and kissed along the underside of it, listening to his lover’s breathing. He licked a vein from base to tip, swirling his tongue around the slit before closing his lips around it. He didn’t suck, only reveled in its weight against his tongue, teasing, soaking, and occasionally nibbling. With a warning from Dwalin about his impending completion, Ori released him and added a coat of oil before sliding down on Dwalin’s cock.

“Tell me when,” Ori said, wincing at Dwalin’s fingers digging into his hips.

“Just a moment,” Dwalin said, trying to fight back the wave of pleasure trying to overcome him. He proved successful and let go of Ori’s hips. “Go.”

Ori licked his lips and pushed up till only the head of Dwalin’s cock remained inside, sliding back down, Dwalin’s eyes fixed on him, memorizing his body as it bounced. Ori licked is lips as he took his own cock in hand, stroking, running the pad of his finger around the slit while his other hand teased a nipple. Dwalin groaned and gripped the sheets beneath him, closing his eyes.

“Damn…fuck, Ori…”

“How does it feel, love?”

“So fucking good,” Dwalin growled, Ori leaned down and kissed him. Dwalin barely felt it long enough to last and Ori was back to riding him, muscles straining. Dwalin growled again and sat up gripping Ori’s ass as he kissed him and threw him onto his back. Ori yelped as Dwalin pounded into him, holding Ori’s hips.

Ori’s back arched and he gasped as his orgasm overtook him, squeezing around Dwalin’s cock. Dwalin came not long after, panting. Ori wiggled his hips, seeing how it sent shivers through Dwalin’s body and grinning.

“Brat,” Dwalin chuckled, pulling out. Ori gasped and shivered as Dwalin checked him over. He kissed the small of Ori’s back and laid beside him, engulfing him in his arms. “Are you ever going to tell me what brought you here?”

“No. Not yet. Only, do you mind if I stay a while? It’s just I don’t want to be at home right now. Dori is being rather…well, I think I’ll discuss it later.”

“All right,” Dwalin said. “We don’t have to talk now. Stay as long as you want to, love, and tell me what’s going on when you’re ready.”

Ori nodded, turning over to watch Dwalin drift to sleep.

He kissed his shoulder once before settling in himself.


	29. Chapter 29

Ori woke to rain hitting the window and glanced at it, pulling the covers off. He sighed and sat up. Dwalin had already left, likely for work, but a note rested on the small table, telling him he’d see him later that day. Ori tried not to walk too much, as his bum was still a bit sore, but he managed to make himself some food while debating whether or not he should go to school.

He knew he should, but there was also a chance that Dori would look for him there and he didn’t want to start a fight with his brother in public, if at all. As he contemplated the pros and cons of attending school for the day, he sat by the window and watched the rain while drinking some of Dwalin’s cheap tea and prayed that Kili was all right.

All in all, it had been a whirlwind year since he started going to Bag End, if he thought about it. Ori couldn’t say he regretted it. He really didn’t. He found a mentor in Bilbo, a friend in Kili, and he, beyond hope, now had the lover he had wanted since he was a lad.

Despite the struggles he had underwent since, he did not once regret going to Bag End.

 _Yep,_ he thought, lifting the mug to his lips. _Not a single ounce of regret._

#

Fili walked into the station and cleared his throat. The constable looked at him and arched a brow. “Can I help you, Sir?”

“I was wondering if bail has been posted for my mother and uncles.”

“Your mother?”

“Dis Durin. And my uncles: Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Durin.”

The Constable hummed and stood. “I’ll check. If you’ll have a seat, sir.” He motioned toward the bench and Fili took a seat, leaning forward as he waited. When the constable returned, Fili approached.

“How much?”

“Twenty-five pounds.”

“For all three?”

“For your mother.”

“That makes more sense…what about my uncles?”

“I’m afraid that is not possible.”

“What do you mean? I should be able to get all three of them out!”

“Commissioner’s orders, Sir.”

Fili grit his teeth. “May I speak with the Commissioner, then?”

The Constable’s eyebrows rose. “Sir, I do not think that is wise.”

“I’m not exactly feeling wise right now.”

The Constable sighed and led Fili to an office toward the back of the building. He knocked and opened the door. “Sir Commissioner, my apologies again. Mr. Durin wishes to speak with you.”

“Quite all right,” Azog said. “Send him in.” Fili entered and the door closed behind him. “I take it this is about your uncle and his lover?”

“They’re both my uncles, actually,” Fili said. “Commissioner Gundebad, I would like to pay bail for all three of them.”

“You’re free to take your mother home.”

“You have no grounds to hold my uncles. They didn’t do anything wrong. You crashed my sister’s party.”

“You don’t have a sister, Mr. Durin. You have a brother who happens to be very sick. Same with your…uncles. I’ve arranged for your uncles to be removed from society. Bethlehem Hospital will treat them well. They are unfit to be in public and I am sure they will remain good friends when the hospital decides to release them.”

Fili shook his head. “You are hiding your hate the same way my father did. You believe that you are helping them, seeing them as sick, but they aren’t sick. They’re in love. And I’m sorry that them being the same sex is so distasteful to you. I had to grow up without Kili because of that kind of thinking. It doesn’t help, it hurts. Maybe one day you’ll realize that.”

Fili left the room and handed the check for his mother to the constable up front. He offered her his arm and led her to the carriage.

“Why didn’t get your uncles out, too?”

“They wouldn’t let me. The commissioner intends to send them to Bedlam.”

Dis hummed. “I see.”

“What do we do?”

She smirked. “We get them out before they get there.”

“What?”

Dis winked. “You’ll see.”

#

Kili stared at Dis, gaping. She turned to Fili. “I never knew she was this…”

“Insane?” Fili offered.

“Adventurous. I’m awestruck.”

“And I’m concerned. This isn’t ladylike.”

“Oh, please,” Dis said. “Fili, dear, you wouldn’t know ladylike if it slapped you in the behind. Men.”

“Tell me about it,” Kili said. Fili hid his face in his hands, bemoaning having a mother and sister such as them. Kili patted his shoulder. “So how do we do this?”

Dis smirked.

#

Ori turned to the door to see Dwalin and smiled. He held a bag in his arms. “I bought dinner. Hungry?”

“Yes,” Ori said, taking the bag. Dwalin kissed him. “Help me set the table?”

“Gladly. Oh, uh…tonight, we’re breaking Thorin and Bilbo out of jail. You in?”

Ori blinked. “Just us?”

“Dis, Fili, Kili, and us.”

“Sure.”

“Excellent.” He kissed Ori’s cheek. “Let’s eat.”


	30. Chapter 30

“You’ll have an easier time than I,” Dis said, stuffing Kili’s hair in a top hat. “The last time I did this, I was almost caught and _easily_ mistaken for a little boy wandering around Bedlam.”

“I’m quite certain I can pass for a man,” Kili said, tugging at her jacket. “Do I look presentable?”

“Very.” Dis turned to Fili. “Are you ready?”

“I am,” Fili said, joining them. “I just feel dirty. Who goes on _tours_ at a mental asylum?”

“More people than you think,” she said. “It’s a strange pastime.” Dis put on boots and grabbed a cane. “All right, my darlings. We’re off. Remember: this is a surveillance mission. If we don’t get them out in transit, we get them out from here. We need to find the best route to do so. Understood?”

With assurances that they did, Kili and Fili followed Dis to a carriage.

#

“I love you,” Ori said. Dwalin kissed his forehead before pressing his to it. “Be careful.”

“I will as long as you will.”

Ori nodded and with that, he went to get a map while Dwalin approached the precinct.

Ori glanced behind his shoulder once before entering a paper shop, requesting a map of London. Once he had it in his hand, he found Dwalin was gone, likely letting Thorin and Bilbo know what the plan was.

He hoped Dwalin didn’t do anything stupid in order to see them.

#

Fili handed the payment to the guard at Bedlam’s door before stepping inside. Kili balked at the smells and the cages. It was horrid.

And they wanted to put _Bilbo and Thorin_ in _here?!_ They wanted to put _her_ in here?!

Gundebad was either in denial, sadistic, or out of his mind.

 _Perhaps all three,_ she thought.

“This is ghastly,” Fili mumbled as they turned a corner, nearly getting hit with someone’s feces. Kili gagged and Dis closed her eyes, scowling.

“There’s a door on Kili’s side,” Dis said, “Kili, please check to see that it is open or if it can be picked.”

Kili nodded and approached the door, trying to hold her breath for as long as possible.

She tried the handle, expecting it to remain locked. It did not disappoint, but a glance at the lock told her it could be picked with a hairclip. She returned to Fili and Dis, relaying the information.

“Excellent. That’s our door,” Dis said. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Here, here,” Fili agreed.

#

Dwalin had not come out.

It’d been hours and Ori had found every possible route from the precinct to Bedlam already. He fidgeted, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Where was Dwalin?

At last he stepped out of the precinct, carried by two constables and tossed into the street.

They laughed and went back inside. Ori ran over to him as soon as he was sure it was safe to do so. He gasped at Dwalin’s state. “What did they do to you?”

“I got a little unruly,” Dwalin said as Ori helped him up. “I’m all right.”

“You’re bleeding!”

“I’m _fine_.”

“Dwalin…”

“Bilbo and Thorin know. That’s what matters.”

“I didn’t expect you to be beaten!”

“Don’t worry about it love. This is nothing. I’ve been worse.”

Ori groaned, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go home so I can take a look at you and maybe clean you up a bit.”

Dwalin kissed his cheek. “Thanks, love.”

“You better love me, you blasted, great big lug.”

Dwalin laughed.


	31. Chapter 31

With the plan set in motion, Kili could only wait outside the door they chose as their escape route.

She kept her hair tucked in a cap and smoked. Thankfully, it added to her costume rather than derailed from it. No one stopped to stare at her or ask her why she was there.

Fili and Dis would come out with Bilbo and Thorin sooner or later, so she guessed, but…

Well…

Kili would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared. In truth, she was terrified. If she was caught and recognized, she could easily be dragged into the asylum and likely, her mother, aunt, and uncle wouldn’t be able to get her out if at all.

She took a deep breath and released a stream of white smoke from her mouth. The door creaked open and Dis stepped out with Fili, Thorin and Bilbo.

“It’s not improved since the last time I was here,” Thorin said, snarling. “Come on, lass,” he gripped Kili’s arm and they ran around the corner to the carriage where Dwalin and Ori waited for them.

“Now what?” Kili asked them as they put Bedlam behind them.

Bilbo and Thorin glanced at each other. Bilbo took Kili’s hands in his own.

“Thorin and I will be leaving London,” he said. “And Bag End, and Erebor, are now yours to do with as you wish.”

Kili looked from Bilbo and Thorin. She turned to her mother, who nodded.

“It’s for the best, Kili,” she said. “Azog Gundebad won’t stop hunting them as long as they remain. And I would rather you leave too, but I trust Dwalin will be able to protect you from further persecution at that man’s hands.”

“You don’t know that!”

“No, but one can hope,” Bilbo said, cupping her chin. “If you need to, send word to Paris. This isn’t forever, darling. You’ve become a wonderful woman and I know you’ll make us proud. We’ll see each other again for sure.”

“We’ll write when we’re settled,” Thorin promised. He took one of Kili’s hands and kissed it. “We’re proud of you, Kili, and glad to have been a part of who you are today.”

“You’ll make a fine lady of Erebor,” Bilbo added. “And one day, I know you’ll find love just as we have.”

“And what becomes of us now?” Kili asked, throat tightening.

“We don’t know,” Dis said. “But we’ll be here for you. One way or another.”

“Do I at least get to say goodbye?”

“Of course,” Bilbo said. “We’re heading to the docks right now. Ori will be meeting us there with our things, I believe.”

“So a few minutes more…”

Bilbo moved to sit beside Kili and embraced her. “We love you, sweetheart. Truly we do.”

 _Then why is my heart breaking?_ Kili thought as she wept, relishing the feel of Bilbo’s arms around her for what feels like one last time.


	32. Chapter 32

Ori paced as he and Dwalin waited for Bilbo and Thorin to arrive. At last, they saw the carriage approach and they got out. Bilbo stretched, hands linked above his head as the others climbed out. Thorin wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his neck, making Bilbo laugh and turn his head to kiss him.

Following them were Dis, Fili, and Kili.

Mother and son looked quite stoic, but Kili…Kili’s head was bowed and her stance curled inward. She met Ori’s eyes once and he could tell she was trying not to cry as they got closer.

“Ready to go?” Dwalin said.

“As ready as we ever could be,” Thorin replied, reluctantly releasing Bilbo with one last kiss, but kept hold of his hand.

“Good,” Dwalin said. “Let’s go.” He, Thorin, and Bilbo loaded their belongings on the boat. A few minutes later, Dwalin returned and kissed Ori.

“I’m sorry, I have to go with them. Just to make sure they don’t get hurt on the way to their new home. I’ll be back.” Ori blinked and bit his lip as Dwalin pressed the key to his flat in Ori’s hand. “You can stay there as long as you need to.” He took Ori’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. “I love you. I will be back. I also understand if you don’t wait for me.”

Ori nodded, blinking back tears that threatened to fall. He sniffed and Dwalin kissed him one last time before boarding the ship.

He turned to Dis and the others. “What now?”

“We need to get Frodo,” Kili said. “And we will go to Erebor for a while. Just till we figure out what to do about Azog.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Dis said. “We best start with going back to Bag End.”

“I’ll meet you there,” Ori said. “I have things at Dwalin’s that I’d rather not leave without.”

Kili nodded. “Be careful.”

“I will be.”

An hour later, he was there, weeping quietly and alone. He desperately wanted to hate Dwalin, but in his heart, he knew he couldn’t.


	33. Chapter 33

“How is he?” Kili asked Frodo as he left with the tray under his arm.

“Still depressed, I think,” he said. “He thanked me for the food and went back to drawing.” Kili sighed and massaged her forehead.

“Okay. Thank you, Frodo.” He smiled and walked off as Kili gathered the courage to knock. She rapped the door three times and waited for Ori to respond. She heard the click of the door and straightened her shoulders as he peaked out.

With a sigh, Ori swung the door open and let her in. His eyes were bloodshot and his face had a bit of stubble growing. His hair, also seemed unkempt and oily. Kili sniffed and wrinkled her nose.

“When did you bathe last?”

“There are thousands of men, women, and children, who don’t get the luxury of a bath,” Ori sneered, picking up a tea cup. “Why bother being above them.”

Kili sat down. “He didn’t leave you.”

“Yeah, he did,” Ori said. “He didn’t even tell me till then that he ever even _thought_ about going. He just…slammed it on me at the last minute, gave me the key to his place, and told me to find someone else to be with…”

“Maybe he thought he was holding you back. I won’t pretend to know Dwalin’s mind and I certainly believe he was unfair in leaving like he did, but one of the things you have to understand about him is that he was there when Bilbo and Thorin got together. He was there when Thorin was put in Bedlam the first time around…they’re like brothers. I’m not pleased that he left the way he did, but I’m not surprised. He is loyal to a fault and if he loves you as much as I think he does, he will come back. But he also loves them. He trusts them and they trust him.”

Ori set the cup down with shaking hands, tears trailing down his face. “I sacrificed nearly everything for him,” he said. “I’ve just about quit school, I ran away from home because my brother couldn’t stand to know that I was in love with a man, especially an older man.”

“You shouldn’t quit,” Kili said, taking his hand. “Lots of people would _love_ to have the chance to go to school. Don’t throw that away because you’re heartbroken.” She kissed his hand. “I love you,” she admitted. “And I think you already know that. I know I’m not Dwalin and I know you need time, but I thought at least you should know.”

Kili stood and made her way to the door. Ori grabbed her hand, standing and pushed her against the wall, crashing their lips together. Kili bit his lip, feeling less loved and more…

It wasn’t how she wished her first kiss with Ori would be like. She shoved him back and slapped him. “Get a hold of yourself!” She yelled. “I’m not a damsel, Ori, that you can just push around! Understand?”

“Sorry,” he whimpered. “I’m sorry.”

Kili closed her eyes, still seething. “Get over Dwalin first and don’t just use me as some _rebound_. Some are okay with that. I’m not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Alright,” Kili sighed. “I know you are.” She motioned toward the food. “Eat. And for love of Christ, take a bath or a shower. You really need it.” With that, she left, wiping angry tears from her eyes furiously.

#

_Why did I do that?_

Ori massaged his forehead as he laid in the bath. She was there, telling him she loved him and that he should continue school and other things and he just…he never thought of himself as the kind of man who’d treat someone like that. He’d seen man after man treat his mother like that and that he would…

It disgusted him and he thanked Bilbo and Thorin that Kili was willing to fight if need be. Oh, he was sure she was scared of Thranduil, but of him? No. She was not scared of him enough to submit. And her mother wasn’t that sort of woman either.

And Kili was not like other women. She was a woman trapped in a man’s body. She had narrow hips and broad shoulders. She had a flat, but firm chest, and her strength…

Ori shuddered and sat up, splashing his face with water. Kili was his friend, not someone he could just toss onto the bed and fuck…though were things different between them, perhaps he would go ahead and do so.

But at the moment, he only felt shame for treating Kili like that.

His shoulders shook.

_What have I done that is so bad that I don’t deserve to be loved?_


	34. Chapter 34

The following Monday, Ori went back to school, glad for the distraction it brought. If he concentrated, he wouldn’t have to think about Dwalin so much. It had the added bonus of keeping his mind off Kili, who was starting to get used to living with her mother and brother. Same with Frodo, who seemed to like “Auntie Dis” quite a bit and was being enrolled into school for the following year.

Slowly, Ori found himself getting back to how life was before Dwalin—but not before he first went to Bag End. He found himself happier and less…

Less obsessed, he supposed.

He ate with Kili and her family and was glad to find that Kili, for the most part, forgave him for kissing her as he had.

It all led to the day Dis barged into the house, grinning and humming. “Good afternoon, my darlings!” she said before holding up an envelope. “I got us tickets to see _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ at the Globe! Kili, you and I have an appointment with the tailor tomorrow. What would you say to a periwinkle gown?”

Kili blushed. “Mother, are you sure…”

“Oh, sweetheart, of _course_ I’m sure! It’ll be good for you to get out of the house and enjoy yourself. The police can bugger themselves for all I care.”

Fili flushed. “Mother!”

“Hush,” Dis said. “It’s just the family and Ori.”

“Still not ladylike.”

“Fili, Dear, you will learn soon enough that ladylike is just something stuffy old men came up with to try and control the female population. Their ideals are impossible to reach and far from realistic.” She patted his cheek. “You have much to learn, love, before you realize your father’s word was not exactly law in this household.” She winked. “You and Ori will be coming with us to the tailor too. And Frodo! How could I forget dear Frodo?” She knelt. “Have you seen a Shakespeare performance before?”

He shook his head.

“Excellent! This will be a good experience for you! Everyone should see Shakespeare at least once in their life. More if they can! Now with that out of the way! I hope none of you had plans. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day!”

“Does school count?” Ori asked.

“I’m sure we can wait for you to come home before getting you measured. It will take a while to figure out Kili’s gown. A lady should look her best when going to a Shakespeare performance.” Dis winked.

“I thought you said being a lady was something men made up.”

“The standards and the pedestal and the _Angel of the House_ nonsense, true, but your sister is a lady and a fine lady at that. She deserves as many nights to revel in it as she can get. Besides,” she turned to Kili. “I want to get your corset re-measured and adjusted, and I want to get you some more casual dresses and some for tea parties. You’re not quite done growing, it looks.”

Kili blushed, both from embarrassment and excitement. “Thank you, Mother.”

Dis cupped Kili’s face in her hands. “You’re very welcome, my darling daughter. So! Periwinkle?”

“I think that would be lovely,” Kili said, grinning. “Could I have pearls?”

“Of course! Oh, sweetheart, you’d look gorgeous with pearls and diamonds in your hair! The lads wouldn’t know what hit them.”

“In more ways than one,” Fili mumbled. Ori elbowed him.

“I’m sure you and Ori will be enough to keep them at a good distance,” Dis said, arching a brow at him. “Especially since I would like Ori to act as Kili’s escort.”

Ori sighed and glanced at Kili. He managed a small smile. “I’d be honored to.”

He swallowed at Kili met his gaze with her own still cold one. She had yet to fully forgive him for kissing her as he had and he accepted this punishment, though it left him feeling lonelier than before. Perhaps this would be the chance he needed to make up with her.

He certainly hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another filler chapter...i swear it's going somewhere! I have a plan for it! But at the same time I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome in both my hands, so writing is a little bit painful...that on top of all that's going on...not fun. But it's going somewhere and I hope you stick with it to find out what!


	35. Chapter 35

Fili finished tying Frodo’s necktie and grinned. “There you are,” he said. “A handsome little gentleman if ever there was one.” Frodo looked down at his attire.

“Really?”

“Really,” Ori said as Fili ruffled his hair.

“Now that we’re ready, we best meet Mother and Kili.”

The three of them went downstairs. Well, Frodo ran, feet pounding against the floor as Ori and Fili followed at a more subdued pace befitting their station. Dis met them downstairs, straightening her veil over her face.

Kili turned to them and smiled, holding her new dress out. “What do you think?” She asked. The blue accented her pale skin, arms covered to her wrists and neck hidden by white lace. The petticoat beneath the gown looked akin to crinoline. Her hair was strung into a bun with pearls pinning the strands to her head.

“You look beautiful,” Ori said approaching her and kissing her hand. “And all of London will bow at your feet when they realize it.” Kili giggled, blushing.

“You’re too sweet by far, Ori.”

Ori grinned and offered her his arm. “May I escort you, Miss Durin?”

Kili hummed before she linked her arm around his. “You may, Mister Rison.”

“Good God, the two of you are ridiculous,” Fili muttered. Dis slapped the back of his head.

“Be nice to your sister,” she said, linking her arm in his. “Are we ready? Good! To the Globe, my darlings!” With that, she took Frodo’s hand in hers and they went to the carriage.

The ride to the theater was uneventful, but full of laughter as they recounted moments during the day that were particularly hilarious to the rest of the group. But on arrival, the merriment died for Kili and Ori.

Thranduil stared at them, stunned. “Kili,” he said, eyes roaming her. “You look…happy.”

“I am.”

“Frodo!” Legolas shouted, running over to his friend. Frodo grinned and embraced Legolas.

“I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Neither did I. Father says it’s time I get cultured.”

“ _Learn_ culture. The arts are a good way to do so.” The boys grinned and Thranduil looked at Kili and Ori. “Perhaps you and your family would like to join us? There’s plenty of room in our box.”

“Thank you—” Dis began.

“But we have our own box,” Kili said before Dis could accept. “I would rather we not take up your time.”

“Nonsense,” Fili said. “It’s a good opportunity. You never told us you knew Thranduil Greenwood.’

“I would rather not have had to,” Kili mumbled as Fili engaged him in a conversation. Dis touched her shoulder.

“Kili?”

“Can I please not be near him?”

“We’ll stay in the box you got for us,” Ori added. “Just…not with him. We’ll explain later.”

Dis turned to them. “Fili, if you and Frodo like, you may join Mr. Greenwood and his son in their box?”

“Really?” Frodo asked. Both boys looked excited. Dis nodded.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Thranduil said.

“Neither would I,” Fili added, grinning. Dis took Ori’s other arm and they went their own ways. Once alone, Dis lifted her veil.

“Tell me what is going on right now,” she said. “If there is something about Mr. Greenwood I should know, I want to know it _now_.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about last week. Internet issues happened, meaning I couldn't get internet and work meant no trips to the library unfortunately. Anyway, here's the next chapter!

Kili sighed and sat down, explaining her relationship with Thranduil without too many details. She also revealed that he kidnapped her when she was arrested. Ori said nothing, watching Dis’ reaction. With each word, her lips thinned to a straight line.

When Kili finished her tale, Dis took her hands and kissed them. “My sweet girl,” Dis said. “Thank you for telling me. It would be best to also tell Fili so he can be cautious. And Frodo?”

“He and Legolas are friends.”

Dis hummed. “And yet for your safety, it would be best to have minimal interaction with the Greenwoods.” She kissed Kili’s hands once more and let them go. “We’ll think of a solution that won’t interfere with Frodo’s friendship while keeping you safe from that monster.”

Kili smiled. “Thank you, mother.”

“Of course,” she said. “Now pay no attention to that man and enjoy the play.”

“I think I can do that,” Kili said.

“Excellent! Ori, you look so dour. Sit down and don’t worry so much. I will take care of Mr. Greenwood and all will be well.”

“I hope so,” Ori said, sitting beside Kili. The lights dimmed and the curtains rose.

#

“I know Legolas isn’t his father,” Dis told Frodo as she explained the situation, “So I do not mind this friendship. I was thinking if you’d really like to keep it up, you may attend school with Legolas.”

“He’s homeschooled.”

“I’m sure we can figure something out that will allow you two to spend more time together.”

“It’s just not safe for Kili…”

Kili looked at him. “You knew?”

“Uncle Bilbo explained it all to me.”

Kili bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Frodo. I never wanted to restrict who you could be friends with.”

“I can still be friends with him, so that’s not the problem. The problem is that Thranduil won’t leave you alone and he would use me and Legolas to get to you, right?”

“Right,” she sighed. Frodo stood and approached her. He sat on her lap and embraced her.

“I want to be friends with him, but I know it puts my family at risk and so does he. We know, Kili, and we like you—at least, Legolas does. I love you.”

Kili hugged him back. “I love you, too, Frodo.” She kissed his cheek and he slid off, announcing he was going to go to bed. Kili and Dis turned to Fili, who, through Kili’s tale, remained shocked.

“How are you feeling, dear?” Dis asked him. Fili looked up and looked at both of them.

“I don’t know how to feel. This would be a good opportunity for us, Mother, but…I’ll keep him away from Kili.”

“I suppose that’s all I can hope for,” Dis said, sighing. “I just hope you know what you’re doing, Fili.”

“So am I.” With that, he left, leaving Kili and Dis alone in the living room.

Kili bit her lip and looked up at Dis. “Are you mad at me?”

“No,” she said. “I’m angry at Thranduil Greenwood for taking advantage of you. I’m angry at him for using you, for stalking you, for abusing you. I understand that your uncles did what they could. And I will do just as much if not more for you, my darling.”

Kili smiled. “Thank you, Mother.”

“It is nothing, Love.” Dis approached her and kissed her forehead. “I love you, my dear, and you are stronger than you yourself think.”


	37. Chapter 37

Ori couldn’t imagine going back to school with all that had happened, but here he was. Studying, taking notes, attending lectures.

Even going to the pub occasionally with his classmates became routine. Fun, but still routine. He’d join Kili’s family after his daily activities, playing the piano and singing or tutoring Kili more in art and writing. Usually in Fili’s presence as he worked.

One evening, when their shoulders were touching as Kili looked at Ori’s journal comparing their artwork, Fili cleared his throat, call their attention and arching a brow. Kili scooted away enough to deem respectable distance while still able to compare journals and listen to Ori’s advice.

Ori didn’t see the issue. They were friends. They tended to be close…

_Then again, I did kiss her and she did admit to being in love with me. If he knows…_

If Fili knew, then he’d have to play his part as a brother and keep an eye on Ori. And Ori didn’t blame him. If he had a sister…well, he had a niece. He could imagine doing the same for Sylvia as Fili was for Kili.

The thought of his niece left him missing his family. Just a little bit, not enough to make him want to go back and talk to Dori. Not after the things he said. Not after the way he treated him. Betrayed him.

Well, that hurt wasn’t the same as the hurt and anger plaguing him when he thought of Dwalin. How that ache still smarted!

“Are you okay?” Kili asked, touching his forearm. Ori looked at her. “You’re eyes are shining. Like you’re about to start crying.”

“Oh. Just…Dwalin. I miss him. I’m still angry at him, of course, but I miss him.”

“I’m sure you do. I miss my uncles, too.”

Ori hummed and took her hand. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore. He left me. Just…without word, without warning nor discussion. Just…left. I loved him for years, but if that’s how he expects to treat me, then…well…”

“It wasn’t okay,” Kili agreed. “It wasn’t at all. It was like he ran away. Maybe he did love you, and I know you loved him…” she silenced, biting her lip.

Ori glanced at Fili, who was engrossed in his book. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss. Me. Please?”

Kili blinked and looked at Fili for a moment before pressing her lips to Ori’s. Ori kissed her back, cupping her cheek. He licked her lips, requesting entrance, granted but a slight gasp. The kiss ended short when Fili cleared his throat again, looking somewhere between uncomfortable and angry.

“Don’t make me sit between you.”

“Sorry,” Kili giggled, eyes shining and cheeks flushed. Ori avoided Fili’s glare, staring at his journal. He couldn’t say he was in love with Kili, but a part of him just…

He supposed he was lonely. He supposed a part of him wished to move on from Dwalin. If Dwalin returned, what then? Would he break Kili’s heart and return to him after Dwalin had broken his?

He had said not to wait for him.

Ori ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t know what to do.

“Ori, might I have a word,” Fili asked. “Kili, if you like, dinner should be served in a few minutes.”

“I’ll go get ready, then,” she said, excusing herself. Once Kili had departed, Fili took two quick strides toward Ori and seized his coat.

“What are you playing at?”

“I’m not playing. Get your hands off me.”

“When you promise not to touch my sister again.”

“All right. I won’t.”

Fili let him go with a shove. “Good.” He strode out of the room, still furious. Ori watched him go, confused and angry.

_What was that about?_


	38. Chapter 38

“I’ve news from Paris!” Dis announced at tea. Kili looked up and bit her lip. Dis handed her the letter. The seal was broken. “Read it, love. Yes, I have already taken a look, but read it aloud.”

Kili took the envelope and cleared her throat as she pulled the letter out. Dis took a seat, smoothing her skirts out and leaned forward.

 _Dearest family,_ it began,

 

>   _It is with great pleasure that I tell you that Thorin and I have made it safely to Paris without incident and have purchased a lovely cottage outside the city, far from prying eyes and nosy neighbors. Thorin has taken up a job as a banker, of course, and I’ve resumed my position as a professor at the Imperial University of France teaching English as a second language as well as English Literature and European History._
> 
> _As for our double life, we have yet to find any friends, but Dwalin has been making inquiries and we will be visiting a place he discovered called “Rivendell.” By the time you get this, I am sure we will have been well integrated in Paris’ homosexual community enough to open a new Bag End._
> 
> _I have enclosed individual letters as well. Thorin has news for Dis and Kili, and Dwalin has a letter for Ori if he wishes to read it. I have also enclosed a letter for Frodo._
> 
> _All our love,_
> 
> _Bilbo and Thorin_

Kili set the page aside and took her letter before handing Ori his own. “It’s yours to do with as you wish,” she said.

“Thanks,” he said, managing a small smile as he took the letter.

“Mother, where’s yours?”

“Oh, I’ve already read it. Your uncle Thorin is a true booby if ever there was one.”

Kili giggled. “I know. Bilbo calls him that at least once a day.”

“I do not doubt it,” Dis said as Kili gave Frodo his letter. He took it and mumbled a small thank you before crossing his legs and beginning to read it silently. Other than the rustling of paper and the clinking of cups, and the sound of tea being slurped, the room was silent.

Then a small sob escaped Frodo’s throat and his eyes wet with tears overflowing. Dis set her cup down and sat beside him, letting him weep, the letter forgotten on his lap.

“They love you, Frodo dear. They didn’t leave you.”

Frodo tried to respond, but the tears came too fast and choked his voice. Ori and Fili excused themselves to let Dis and Kili handle Frodo.

“So…what does Dwalin have to say?” Fili asked.

“I don’t know,” Ori said. “I haven’t decided if I want to read it yet.”

“Well, if it were me, I would want all the answers I could get,” Fili said, rubbing the back of his neck. He sighed. “I don’t know how love works for your kind, but…”

“It’s quite the same for _your_ kind,” Ori snapped. “We’re human all around and there is no lack of romance anywhere, as far as I can tell.”

Fili stared at him for a moment, then bowed his head. “You’re right. It is taking me a little while to get fully used to it, but you’re right. I’m sorry.” They stopped at Ori’s room but before Ori could enter, Fili took his shoulder. “To be honest, I don’t know what I am anymore, and I don’t feel comfortable talking to Fili or my mother…so just between us mates?”

“We’re not mates, but I get your meaning.” Ori opened the door and Fili followed him inside. When the door shut, Fili turned to him, wringing his hands. “So…”

“I’ve feelings…romantic feelings only, it doesn’t seem to be sexual in any way…for a man.”

“Oh. Well…I suppose that is…unexpected.”

“Quite.”

“I’m not the one who has all the answers. Kili would know better, having been raised by two romantically and sexually involved men.”

“Yes, but…Kili’s my sister. I don’t want to talk to her about this.”

“And it’d be easier to talk to me? If Thorin and Bilbo were here—”

“Then I’d talk to Thorin,” Fili said. “If he could stop hating me long enough to talk to me.”

“He doesn’t hate you. And Bilbo’s easier to talk to anyway,” Ori said. “At least for me, he is.” He sighed. “Look, I would _really_ like to read Dwalin’s letter in peace, if you could give me at least that, I would most appreciate it.”

“Oh! Right. Of course,” Fili said. “But I can talk to you about this, right?”

“Yes, if you want.”

Fili nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

 He left, shutting the door behind him. Ori sat down on the bed and opened the letter, nibbling his bottom lip between his teeth.

 

> _Dear Ori,_
> 
> _There is much I want to say and no way to feasibly say it. You likely know from Bilbo’s letter that he and Thorin are settling in nicely enough and that all is well so far._
> 
> _I miss you and I know I have likely lost you to another by now. You’re a gorgeous man and I have been honored to have your devotion, in body and soul, for as short a time as it is. In all honesty, I feel I have been selfish in keeping you to myself._
> 
> _I’m old, Ori, and scarred, and damaged._
> 
> _You deserve more than me and you always will. And yet, the very thought of you being in another man’s arms churns my blood for the worst. I will not chase you if you find another to give your love to, but I will not deny that it fills me with jealousy. Still, I do not deserve you._
> 
> _Perhaps I never have._
> 
> _Either way, I love you, deserving or not. And for a short time, I am blessed to have known that you loved me, too._
> 
> _Sincerely and truly,_
> 
> _Dwalin_

Ori set the letter down, eyes stinging and vision not yet blurring. He closed them and exhaled, wondering if he could move on from Dwalin.

It hurt still, but the pain was becoming more and more of an ache. Perhaps, he hoped, that was normal.


	39. Chapter 39

“I’ll take Frodo to Eton with the Greenwoods,” Fili announced, grinning. “After discussing it often with Mr. Greenwood, we both agreed that Legolas and Frodo attending the same school would be beneficial and as it is a Private school, they’d get the education they need as members of their families and become fine gentlemen of fine stature. In this way, I think we can manage to keep Mr. Greenwood away from Kili while allowing Frodo and Legolas to remain friends.”

Dis clapped her hands. “Excellent! You’ve done marvelous convincing him, Fili. I’m proud and so would be your father, bless his soul.”

Frodo jumped out of his chair and embraced him. Kili, on the other hand, remained frozen. Would it really be as simple as that?

“No words, Kili?” Fili asked.

“I’m thankful, of course, but I’m not entirely convinced…forgive me. Perhaps I’m simply more paranoid than I should be. It’s a wonderful idea and I’m glad it worked out.”

Dis took her hand and squeezed it. “If he tries, I will have my word with him. Mr. Greenwood has no claim to you, my dear, and he will learn to mind that statement. After all,” Dis grinned. “You’re the Princess of Erebor now. A title I once happily held. The Durin line has never bowed to any save the king.”

Kili nodded, nibbling her lip. She hoped they were right.

#

Ori turned the collar of his coat up to protect his neck from the rain as he made his way off campus. He winded around other students and teachers till he saw someone he didn’t think he’d see again. Dori spotted him and approached him. Ori wanted to turn and try to get lost among the others, but his legs didn’t seem to obey him.

“Can we talk? Please?” Dori asked.

“I’ve nothing to say to you,” Ori said. It came out more bitter than he intended.

“Then will you at least listen to me?” Ori stuffed his hands in his pockets and nodded. Dori sighed—with relief or something else, Ori couldn’t tell. He followed Dori to the family carriage and entered.

“Nori and I are on the verge of ripping each other’s throats out. We’re doing what we can to keep Sylvia from noticing, but she is amazingly perceptive. We need you, Ori. You were always what kept us sane around each other.”

“But I would have to stop being myself, right?”

“Nori said he doesn’t understand it, either, but he did say you were happier now that you were with…what’s his name, my former dockhand…”

“Dwalin. And we’re not together anymore. He left with his current employers. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

Dori hummed. “I see.”

“I’ll start with having dinner with you again, but I’m not going back.”

“Of course. You can bring a friend, if it helps. Or two.”

“Even if they’re not what you’d call normal?” Ori asked. Dori furrowed his brow, obviously confused. “My best friend is a young lady with a male body.”

“A transvestite?”

“She prefers to be called Ms. Durin.”

Dori’s face turned red, but then he took a long breath and his color returned. “Yes. He— _she_ is welcome to come to dinner if she likes.”

“Thank you.”

“So…you met Lord Durin, then? Thorin Durin?”

“Yes.”

“And I take it you’ve been keeping up with the news? His arrest and the identity of his…”

“Partner, lover, husband, wife, whichever you like. I know them both. They are Dwalin’s employers.”

“I see. I take it that they are who…helped you?”

“I’ve known I preferred the male sex since I was a child,” Ori said. “I knew I loved Dwalin since I saw him the first time four, maybe five years ago.”

“And you never…”

“No. Not till last April or so when I learned he and I were the same. And yes, the nature of our relationship was sexual.” Dori again started turning red. “I’m an adult and many lads have had sexual encounters long before I am. What does it matter to you that mine was with one man?”

“Only one?”

“Only one.”

Dori sighed. “All right. Dinner? Tomorrow night? Invite Ms. Durin if you insist on it.”

“Tomorrow night, then,” Ori said, getting out of the carriage. “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dori.”

“Keep safe, will you. T’is not good times for lads like yourself.”

“I will. Goodbye, Dori.” Ori shut the door and walked on. The carriage jolted into motion and he watched it disappear around a corner. Maybe things will look better for him now…


	40. Chapter 40

Ori knocked on the door, unsure whether or not he was welcome. Kili squeezed his hand in a way Ori translated as reassuring. He returned her smile and the door opened. Maribeth did not seem pleased to see them, but welcomed them inside.

“Your brothers are in the parlor,” she said, leading the way. Once she opened the door, Nori and Dori stood up. “I’ll leave you be, Sirs. Call me if you need me.”

“We will, Maribeth,” Dori said. “Thank you.”

She closed the door and they took seats. Ori cleared his throat? “Where’s Sylvia?”

“Playing in her room,” Nori said. “Maribeth will make sure she comes to dinner, but—and I’m completely against this, just so you know—Dori wants words with you about your—again, not my wording—‘lifestyle.’”

“I’m afraid it’s not a lifestyle,” Kili said, arching a brow. “If it was, then why would any choose it? Or do you think that people openly decide to be different for the sake of crying for attention when all it gets them is beaten and abused?”

Dori cleared his throat. “Perhaps it’s not, but even so, embracing it _is_ a choice. And not a healthy one.”

“Actually, it’s healthier than you think,” Kili continued. Ori could feel her shaking beside him. “My uncles have managed it well enough and their relationship is far more functional than any heterosexual relationship I have ever seen. If you could kindly remove your head from your ass and clean your ears, perhaps you’ll realize that _your_ actions are exactly why Ori and others like him and me have been forced to hide, forced to take our lives, forced to live in mental institutions when there is nothing wrong with us—”

“Sir!”

“I prefer _Miss_ ,” Kili hissed. Nori and Ori exchanged looks and Nori stood.

“How about we agree to disagree and leave it at that, Dori? I want our brother home and happy. He’s happy with other men and while I don’t understand it, I can accept it. He’s done nothing wrong, from what I can tell, and he has a good friend in Ms. Durin. What does it matter her gender?”

“You’re siding with them?!”

“I think you’re being petty.”

The door opened and Sylvia stepped in, holding a doll. “Daddy?”

Nori approached her. “Yes, my diamond?”

“I heard shouting.”

“Oh, we’re all having a grown up conversation,” Nori said. “Are you hungry? We can stop talking and have supper now.” Sylvia nodded and hugged her doll before setting it aside. She saw Ori and Kili and stared at them. Then she grinned.

“Uncle Ori!”

“Hello, Sylvia dear,” Ori said as she ran over and embraced him. She looked at Kili. “This is my friend.”

Kili held her hand out. “It’s nice to meet you, Sylvia,” she said.

“I like you’re dress.”

Kili grinned. “Thank you very much.”

“Well, then, let’s head to dinner. Sylvia, Hester can’t come,” Dori said, taking the doll. “She can wait right here,” he set it on a chair upright. With that, they went to the dining room.

Ori feared it would be a long night…


	41. Chapter 41

Sylvia had taken quite a shine to Kili, talking about anything and everything she could think of. Dolls, tea parties, plays, and whatever else little girls happen to like. It kept Kili busy, at least, as Ori still felt defensive around Dori. Nori was trying, of course, but there was little he could do.

“Are you still attending school?” Dori asked.

“I am,” Ori said. “Though I would like to know for how much longer? I take it that you’ve cut me off or plan to.”

“You’re on primarily scholarship,” Dori reminded him. “Though I’m sure you’ve quite lost it when you ran off with your…beau.”

“I still attend,” Ori said. “But you might be right. It’s not been…it’s been a rather…unique year.”

Kili took his hand and squeezed it. The gesture was not missed by Dori, who started to turn red. Ori returned the squeeze.

“Now, really! There is a child present!”

“They’re holding hands, Dori,” Nori snapped before Ori could defend his and Kili’s intimacy. It wasn’t even remotely sexual! “Since when is it inappropriate for friends to hold hands? I have no problems with this and neither should you.”

“This is madness! It’s sodomy!”

Sylvia shrank in her seat, frightened. Kili’s hand slipped under the table and Ori held his cutlery in a death grip.

“I never should have listened to you! No! Ori, I cannot do it! I am sorry, but unless you renounce this madness and find yourself a nice, _real_ woman to marry—”

Kili gasped, eyes welling with tears and Ori jumped to his feet. “Come on, Kili,” Ori said, “I’ll take you home. There’s no reason for us to overstay our welcome.”

“Agreed,” Kili snarled, looping her arm around Ori’s.

“Now, there’s no need for such overdramatic exits,” Dori said.

“There is nothing overdramatic about this,” Nori shouted. Ori closed the door, letting his brothers fight behind closed doors. It opened again and Sylvia ran out, shutting the door.

“I don’t like it when they fight,” she said, frowning. Ori knelt to her eye level. “Neither did I,” he admitted. “But sometimes they must fight. Like now. Uncle Dori is demanding something I cannot do and your papa is doing what he can to defend me from Uncle Dori right now. We’re in the middle of one big fight, sweetheart, and believe me when I say it has nothing to do with you. It was simply started at a rather inopportune time.”

“You’re a good girl, Sylvia,” Kili added, kneeling down as well. “Fights just happen sometimes. It doesn’t mean there is no love in a family. Sometimes it means there’s more love than you think. My uncles fight all the time but they love each other a lot.”

“I’m sure we’ll meet again,” Ori said. “But it might be a little while. Uncle Dori needs his attitude adjusted, you see.”

Sylvia nodded. “Stay safe, Uncle Ori, Miss Kili.”

“We will,” Kili said. She opened her arms. “Is it all right if we have hugs before we go?” Sylvia nodded and embraced her and Ori before they left.

They barely made it down the stairs when they were jumped. Ori struggled against the men and noticed a metal badge tacked to the jacket.

“ORI LOOK OUT!!!”

A blunt object collided with his head and he went down, disoriented. Then all went black.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of sexual abuse in the guise of medical studies, mentions of torture, etc. Proceed with caution

Time in Bedlam is like the idea of God. You can’t tell if it exists or not after a while. The screams are deafening and no matter what you do to block them out—cover your ears, shut your eyes, cry, scream yourself—you can’t.

Two orderlies pulled him up and took him to an office. They dropped him in a wooden chair and he stared at his hands as the Doctor—a man whose name Ori could not recall nor tried to—spoke to him, trying to get him to talk. Mostly, he wanted to talk about Ori’s sexuality. Was he active? If so, did he play the woman’s role?

Ori never answered, but it didn’t stop the Doctor from trying to get answers from him.

His first few hours here were horrid! They subjected him to some sort of terrible torture where they took liberty in investigating his backside and genitals in the name of health and science. They “were glad” to tell him that he was not ill with syphilis or some other disease spread by sexual means.

Well of course not! He had only slept with Dwalin and Dwalin would have told him if he had something that could spread. Wouldn’t he?

Either way, he muddled through the horrors, looked away when they turned their attention to someone else, and ignored their questions while trying to find Kili.

He looked, and looked, and looked, but never once did he see Kili being dragged by his cell, kicking up a fuss. Every so often, people would come by and gawk at them. Cruel, unusual men and women—sometimes children—who’d stare at him and the other prisoners.

But _where was Kili_?! Was she all right? He wished he knew.

Ori lay in his bed, staring at the door. His mind was blank and he likely looked it, too. He could register things, such as the door opening and Fili walking inside.

“Ori! At least I found one of you.”

“What?”

“Where’s Kili?”

“I don’t know,” he said, tears stinging his eyes. “I don’t know!” Fili hushed him. “I never saw her. I don’t know where they took her.”

“I’ll find out where she is. In the meantime, I’m getting you out of here. My mother is worried about you both. Has been for the last week.”

“Week?”

It’d really been a week?!

“Yes, it’d been a week and only just.”

“Feels like years.”

“I’m sure,” Fili said, helping him up and placing a woolen blanket around Ori’s shoulders. “Let’s go.”

“But Kili—”

“We’ll find her, but the sooner you’re out of here the better. Tell me what happened at Dori’s and how you ended up here with Kili.”

He couldn’t hold them back anymore and the tears flowed freely. Ori sobbed, hiding under the blanket as Fili led him out of Bedlam. He cried all the way back to Dis’ home and not once could he recall seeing Kili. Not once did he see her after the Met ambushed them.

Where did she go? What did they do to her? Was she still alive?

By God he hoped so. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to her.


	43. Chapter 43

At first, Kili thought she’d be in Bedlam with Ori. She really thought that they were going to lock her in a cell and break her leg like they had Thorin’s when he had been here. To her surprise, when the sack was pulled off her head, she stood at Thranduil’s door.

“As promised, Sir,” the constable said, pushing Kili into Thranduil’s arms. Thranduil handed him an envelope and the Constable left with a tip of his hat. Thranduil pulled Kili inside and once the door had closed, he kissed her hands.

“At long last! We can be together.”

“You’re mad if you think I want to be with you!” Kili shouted. Thranduil shoved her against the wall, boxing her in.

“You want to be a woman? Then act like it. I have offered you everything I can give, Kili, all I ask for is your heart in return. I love you. You loved me once. You were willing to stay with me, once.”

“I am _not_ something you can buy and use for your own device and pleasure, Thranduil.”

“I offered a dowry to your uncles! That is an appropriate contract given our situation! It is your uncles that saw it as a slave payment and poisoned you against me! I love you!”

“Then why do I feel more frightened than loved?” Kili asked. Thranduil pressed his forehead to hers.

“Without you I’ve gone mad with grief. Stay, Kili, I will speak with your family when things are better between us. Kili, I may have been a hard man at times, but not once have I hurt you and not once have I forced you into my bed. I want your trust as much as I want your heart and body.” He exhaled, cupping her cheek. “Please don’t make me chase you anymore, my Daphne.” He kissed her. It was brief and gentle, but Kili felt disgust and it couldn’t have ended fast enough.

“I’m tired,” she said.

“I’m sure you are,” Thranduil replied. “You’re room is made for you if you like. We’ll have breakfast tomorrow morning, hmm? Would you like that?”

Kili didn’t respond, nor did Thranduil push for one. He led her upstairs and stopped at a door. With a kiss on the cheek, Thranduil let her go, locking the door once she was inside.

Kili scoffed and sat on the bed. So she was a prisoner here, regardless what he told her.

She sighed and decided to get ready for bed, praying for Ori’s safety and cursing Dori and whoever else was involved in their arrest.

At least Frodo and Legolas were out of harm’s way, if nothing else, or so she hoped.

_Ori, Mother, Fili, please find me again. Please stop this madness. Please…please…_


	44. Chapter 44

“I love you,” Ori said, cupping Kili’s cheek. “I want you if you’ll have me, Kili,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers. Kili grinned brightly and nodded, lost for words. Ori kissed her and it was so soft and so kind…

The door unlocked and Kili woke, hands in her lap, trying to hide her body’s reaction to her dream from Thranduil. “Still sleeping at this time?” he asked, setting a package on the bed. “Perhaps this will get you out of bed, lazy cat.”

Kili didn’t smile nor did she respond. He sat down and kissed her cheek. “Go on, love, open it.” She did so, aware of Thranduil’s stare. It was a brown bustle dress. “The maids will be in to help you into it and make you look presentable enough to go out on a walk. I was thinking we could go to Hyde Park.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Kili, it’s been a week. You can’t hole yourself up in here.”

“I did all week.”

“Well, I’m putting an end to it,” Thranduil said. “Come, my dear, it will do you good to get some air outside this room.” He kissed her hand and left, leaving the door unlocked. Likely for the maids.

Kili got out of bed and began her bath, happy to find her reaction to the dream had wilted. After she had bathed and shaved her chin hairs, Kili donned fresh undergarments and was about to put on her corset when the promised maids came in.

One helped her into the corset while the other readied the dress for donning. After that, one did her hair while the other her makeup. When she looked at her reflection, she could tell that her face had been caked so heavily, that she at first felt like a whore, but then realized that the point was the make her look far more feminine than she really did.

A disguise so they wouldn’t be attacked, hopefully.

The maid that did her hair handed her an umbrella. “Enjoy your walk, Si—miss.”

Kili pretended to miss the near slip and thanked her, sending them both away. With another look, she decided she really, _really_ hated makeup as much as she hated her masculine cheekbones and chin.

#

“Madam, this is the first I’ve heard that your son was not in Bedlam,” Azog bellowed, banging his hand on his desk. “I will conduct an investigation of his whereabouts and when he is back in my custody, I will inform you, but he _needs_ professional help. You and your kin have not done anything but—”

Dis slapped him, successfully silencing him. “You are the one who is sick,” she snarled. “Kili is not mentally incapable. She has not hurt anyone by being herself. No one like her, no homosexual or transgender have hurt anyone by being themselves. I accept Kili for who she is and if that means recognizing her as my daughter rather than son, then so be it. You are no parent—”

He turned to her, glaring and a snarl on his face.

“So I don’t expect you to understand.”

“I _am_ a parent,” he snarled. “I’ve a son, Madam, currently attending Eton. So believe me, I do understand. You think I would _want_ such a life for him where he is attacked for being ill? I seek reform, Madam, not enmity with those afflicted with homosexuality.”

“Then one parent to another,” Dis said, “I beg you to let me raise my children as I see fit. Kili is able to embrace herself because I let her be herself and the best way I could do that was to let her be raised by my brother and his beloved. When you look at them, do you really see sick people? I see a relationship between two people in love, much like the relationship between a husband and wife. And if you want reform, Sir, you ought to know that what you consider ‘healthy’ relationships can be woefully unhealthy.”

“I _am_ aware of that. But how is an unhealthy heterosexual relationship any different from a homosexual one?”

“I can’t speak for all, but as far as my brother is concerned, I’ve never seen a better relationship. True, it’s homosexual, but they are open, they are honest, and that is what all loving relationships should be like. Not these farces you see every day between men and women.”

Azog pinched the bridge of his nose. “I still disagree, Madam, but I will find Kili and I will make sure he-she is not harmed. You have my word as a gentleman.”

Dis didn’t weigh it to be very much, but it was more than she expected. Her shoulders sagged and she put her gloves back on. “That is all I ask. My apologies for slapping you. I don’t take well to anyone insulting my family, especially my children.” She fixed her veil. “Good day, Commissioner.”

With that, she left. Ori and Fili looked at her. “Is Kili…”

“Not here, but Commissioner Gundebad is on our side, it seems. He will help us.”

“I don’t trust him,” Ori snarled.

“Neither do I,” Dis admitted. “But if he is willing to put his reputation as a gentleman on the line, then I suppose we can at least take him seriously. I only hope that he brings her home rather than tries to lock her away again.”

* * *

 

Kili's day dress

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/418623727837703002/


	45. Chapter 45

“Do you love her?”

Ori looked at Fili, startled. “Pardon?”

“Kili,” Fili said. “Do you love her?”

“Oh…yes. I love her,” Ori said, swallowing. “As a friend, for sure. Whether I care for her more…I don’t know. A part of me thinks so, but I’m worried we’ve only been…toying with each other. Lately, I mean. That’s no basis for a relationship.”

“Then don’t. You may court my sister when we get her back. I have the feeling she would suit you better than Dwalin. Especially if he’s going to leave you like he did.”

Ori ground his teeth and glared at him. “Why do you care?”

Fili shook his head. “I don’t know. I can live with you and her being together. I care for you both. So let me have this. Let me at least call you my brother.” Fili stared at his hands and Ori blushed.

“Oh. I thought you were…what…normal?”

“So did I. I’ve never cared for other men the way you do. Yet…” Fili sighed. “Stay with her. She needs someone who will love her properly. Not like how that man loves her.”

Ori hummed. “I think I can do that.” But could he? As long as he had been obsessed with Dwalin? Could he love Kili the way she deserves?

#

Kili picked at her dinner, frowning. She wanted to go home. She wanted her own clothes and she wanted her mother. She wanted Ori.

“You’ll wither away if you don’t eat, love,” Thranduil said, stilling her hand. “Eat, Kili, and then if you like, we can relax in the parlor. You can read, sing, knit, draw, whatever you like.”

“Except go home.”

Thranduil sighed. “This _is_ your home now. I’m offering everything I can offer and all the protection I can give. I just want you to love me, fear me, and do as I say. All of that and I will be your slave.”

Kili looked at him. “That is not love. That’s control. I am not afraid of you. I am not in love with you. And I will certainly not obey you.” She stood and strode out of the dining room to grab her coat.

_I will leave now. I’ll walk home if I must._

“Kili!” Thranduil shouted.

She picked up her pace, heart hammering, and grabbed her coat, slinging it over her arm and curled her fingers around the door handle. Thranduil grabbed her wrist and yanked it back, nearly pulling her arm out of its socket. Kili tripped and was flung against the wall, pinned by his arms.

“Why are you so bloody insistent in infuriating me?” Thranduil snarled shaking her. Kili yelped as her head banged against the wood. “Why is it so hard for you to love me? I offer all I can give and it is not enough! What do you want from me?”

“I want you to let me go home! I want to be left alone! I never want to see you again! I hate you! I hate you!” Kili shoved him back and ran for the door and out it. She paused when a carriage paused and the Met stepped out. She backed away, shaking, but they passed her and a coat was wrapped around her shoulders.

“Kilian Durin,” Azog said. “We’re taking you home.”

“H-home?”

“Your mother is worried.”

“Not…not Bedlam?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Your mother made an interesting point the other day,” he said, helping her into the carriage. “And I’m not one to deny a widow her children.”

He closed the door and Kili tightened the coat around her. “How did you know where to find me?”

“Had a chat with the constable who was supposed to take you to the asylum,” he said. “Apparently he thought the extra bonus he’d get from Mr. Greenwood was worth losing his badge and gun over.” Kili hummed and glanced at him. Azog stared out the window and she arched a brow.

“You like my mother, don’t you?”

Azog cleared his throat. “She’s unusually plucky…”

Kili hid her grin. _Definitely likes her_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tears hair out.* WHY DO I MAKE UNUSUAL SHIPS?!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!


	46. Chapter 46

Kili stepped out of the carriage and approached the steps. The door swung open and Dis embraced her. “My darling!” she cried. “My gem!”

“I’m okay, Mother,” Kili assured her. “I’m okay.”

Dis kissed her cheek and ushered her inside. She glanced at Azog, and swallowed. “Thank you, Commissioner.” Azog tilted his hat and climbed back inside the carriage.

#

Dis handed Kili a cup of tea, who took it silently. “What now?” she asked. “What happens next?”

“I think we will stay in London a little longer,” Dis said. “Just long enough to make sure that man is locked away for good. He royally screwed himself, if nothing else. After that, I think we’ll go see your uncles. You know, see how they’ve settled in Paris.”

“I suppose that’s an idea,” Kili mumbled. She saw a shadow out of the corner of her eye and glanced up to see Ori leaning against the doorway. She set it down and approached him. He welcomed her in his embrace.

“Are you okay?”

“I am.”

“Good. And Thranduil?”

“Done for, I hope,” she said. Ori cupped her cheeks and pressed his forehead to hers. “Ori, I am sorry for the way I’ve treated you lately. It was…”

“I know. I’m sorry, too.”

Dis cleared her throat. “I’ll leave you two be,” she said, leaving the room. Once gone, Kili lead him to the couch and they sat down.

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you, and I know you are still hurting from the way Dwalin left, but I have to know: is there a chance for the two of us to be more than friends?”

“Yes,” Ori said. “I thought I loved Dwalin. And I thought he was the one, but in the end, I suppose I just…not that it wasn’t real between me and him, but…you know.”

“I do.”

Ori kissed her hand. “May I kiss your lips?”

“Yes.”

Ori leaned forward, gently lifting Kili’s chin so that their lips could met, gentle and sweet. When they broke apart, Ori rested his forehead on hers again. “May I have your permission to court you properly, Miss Durin?”

Kili grinned, giggling. “Yes, Mr. Rison.” He kissed her hand again.

“I will do all that is in my power to be worthy of you, Kili.”

“You already have,” she said. “I never thought this could happen. You were mad for Dwalin.”

“But it wasn’t healthy.”

“I’m pretty sure it was healthier than me and Thranduil.”

“True.”

Kili squeezed his hand. “Kiss me again?”

Ori pressed another kiss to her lips. Kili grinned into the kiss and Ori deepened it, running his hand through her hair and pressing against Kili’s body so close there was hardly room for air to pass between them. Kili moaned, gripping his shoulders and, with deep regret, pushed him back.

“I don’t think we should pursue further with my brother and mother around,” she said. “But I would give you all I have to offer if you wish it. It’s just…”

“Kili, you’re beautiful,” Ori said, “And I can wait for you to be more comfortable with your body if you want. And if you like, we can be _painstakingly_ appropriate.” She laughed. “You’re happiness and comfort matters more to me. Okay?”

She nodded. “You’re sweet. So, shall we finish tea and talk? I don’t think we’ve really talked in a long time.” Ori nodded and poured himself a cup.

~Six Months Later~

Paris truly was a quiet place in comparison to London. Red bricks led to the streets and Kili clung tightly to Ori’s arm. Her lime green dress and coat shimmered in the light and her hat shaded her eyes. Ori had donned pinstripe trousers matched with a gold waistcoat and black overcoat over a cream shirt.

They entered the college grounds and found the coffee shop where Bilbo was currently enjoying a cup. He looked up and grinned.

“Kili! Ori!”

“Good to see you, Bilbo,” Ori said as Kili embraced him.

“I’ve missed you, Uncle Bilbo.”

“As have I, dear,” he said, squeezing her. “As have I. Let me look at you.” He pushed her back. “My God, are you really the same princess we left back in London?”

“Well, Mother has me seeing someone for my agoraphobia. Though, it took a while to find someone who will leave my identity alone.” She sat down in the chair Ori pulled out for her and he sat in another chair. “And we’ve further news for you.”

“What?”

Kili extended her hand to show off the diamond ring encircled by sapphire and white gold.

“God above!” Bilbo said. “You and…”

“Ori,” Kili said, grinning at him. “We know it can’t be very official, but…”

“Say no more!” He said, grinning. “Thorin will be thrilled! And the wedding _must_ be here.”

“Of course,” Kili said.

“She refused to have it anywhere where you aren’t,” Ori said, kissing her hand. “And we’ve already Dis’ approval. She’ll be here with Fili and the lads soon enough.”

“Excellent,” Bilbo said. “Well, I think I should send Thorin a telegram to let him know we’ll be breaking out the good stuff tonight,” he winked. “Order whatever you like while I set that up.”

He walked away and Ori kissed her hand again. “I told you he’d be happy.”

“I know, and I knew. I just couldn’t shake it.”

He kissed her a third time. “Relax. This isn’t London.”

“I know. What have we to fear?”

 

Kili's dress 

https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/0/5443966/il_570xN.202721547.jpg 

Ori's clothes 

http://www.westernemporium.com/store/media/000168/000168_00.jpg

 

Engagement Ring

https://5777d1908bc7ea4987e7e6e501c1aa097fcf76e4-www.googledrive.com/host/0B8bvVUoj2s4rMnFuTE1SYUhZMjQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you already know that I have a prequel that's strictly Bagginshield, but I know there are still some unanswered questions and stuff. Like, what happened to Thranduil and what about Legolas, Dwalin, etc. I think there's gonna be a sequel. Yep...


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